


Advent Calendar

by Phantje



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 25 days, Baking, Christmas, Cute, December - Freeform, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Single Father, Slow Build, adventcalendar, crafting, tv presenter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-09 01:55:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 65,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12877707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantje/pseuds/Phantje
Summary: Phil is a renown children's TV presenter. He is probably the only one that is always enthusiastic to leave his house for work. Talking, baking and crafting - his life is amazing.Dan is a single father. His son's mother left two weeks after the best thing in Dan's life was born. With the support of his family and best friend, Dan tries to be the best parent ever. That isn't easy when you have to juggle unemployment alongside all the important parent duties.Two lifes that don't seem to have a lot in common collide. Causing all sort of change.(I will upload one chapter each day until the 25th of December. Hopefully always around this time.)(If you can't wait for me to upload the whole story bit by bit I recommend you give the advent calendar from last year a go: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8716696/chapters/19984231 )





	1. 1st December - Thursday

**Author's Note:**

> December is finally here! That means I'm back with another calendar for you. The dates are the ones from last year as this was written as a present for family and friends - poor lot, ey?   
> Enjoy and leave comments and kudos if you did! <3

Dan’s POV 

Dan woke up at around nine o’clock. The sun was slowly appearing behind his curtains to bother him enough to wake up. It has been exactly two months since Dan had been woken up by an alarm clock. Obviously, Dan didn’t know this right away. He never knew anything right after waking up, his body was always busy missing the sleep and thinking about the dream he has had when he woke up. Only when he checked his phone he usually remembered the most important things. After checking that today was in fact Thursday, the 1st of December, Dan suddenly realised that he had been without employment for two whole months. Okay. The employment he had had then had been a part time job as a waiter but even loosing that one was a hard blow to Dan. In a way, the past four and a half years had been the absolute worst but also the greatest ever. Four and a half years ago Dan had been in a stuffy maternity ward holding Emma’s hand. A few hours later he had been absolutely delirious to hold his little boy Frederick Gordon Howell in his arms. Frederick had been his idea, Emma had urged him to add Gordon. Dan would never understand why she had been so keen to name her son if she wasn’t that keen to keep him.   
Frederick had been crying nonstop up to the point where Dan gently rocked him in his arms and rubbed his tiny tummy. With Frederick’s birth Dan had hoped that life finally wanted to show him its beautiful side but when he found the flat empty two weeks later with nothing but a note saying that Emma left (not why or an apology for it!) and a five pound note to buy some breast milk substitute he was sure that Frederick had just been a temporary distraction. Dan had been too angry and too indifferent towards Emma that he hadn’t started crying. He simply exhaled deeply and put a smile on his face as he walked into Frederick’s room, waking him gently with tummy farts. Ever since that day, Dan had been pretty much on his own. There were of course his amazing parents, especially his mother who did everything in her power to help Dan and Frederick out and his best friend Carla, who made life with a baby in London possible. Carla was a willing baby sitter and adviser, she practically had an answer for every question and together with the help of Dan’s mother, Dan could be certain that Frederick wanted of nothing.   
Dan squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead. Luckily, he did not have thoughts like this each morning but a day that marked two months of unemployment apparently brought back a lot of unpleasant memories. Only the sound of tiny feet making their way from the door to Dan’s bed had the power to push these memories away and replace them with the far more numerous happy ones. Memories, of Frederick making his first steps, saying his first words, forming his first proper sentence, smiling for the first time and grabbing Dan’s hand instinctively when he was scared. These memories were not sorted in any way, they each felt like they happened only yesterday but at the same time also like they had happened years ago (which was true for a few of them).   
“Dad?” Frederick carefully asked. Dan contemplated whether he should just open his eyes and probably scare him or if he should pretend he was still asleep. As there was literally nothing in the world Dan had to do that day he chose to pretend he was still sleeping.   
“Sleepy.” Frederick stated and poked Dan’s cheek. “Might as well sleep some more.” Frederick mumbled and huffed while climbing over Dan. Dan tried his best to hide an affectionate smile. Frederick pronounced the s in most words like you word pronounce the sh in shopping. Sometimes that made his sentences jarring. It was endearing and Dan knowing that it would wear off, as Frederick also once pronounced every b as a p, did not even try to make him stop.   
Frederick now settled next to Dan. He lifted Dan’s left arm and pressed himself into the hole he had created. He hummed softly when he snuggled into Dan and Dan immediately hugged him tight.   
They spent a good thirty minutes in this position. Dan had to pee, and he was tired of playing asleep (no pun intended). He decided to gently kiss Frederick’s brown locks and whisper a: “Good morning baby boy.”   
“Morning dad.” Frederick answered and shuffled around in the embrace to look at Dan. While doing so he accidently kicked Dan’s full bladder but Dan showed no signs of that and simply smiled brightly at his son.   
“What would you say to pancakes?” Dan asked.   
“I’d say yes!” Frederick said with sparkling eyes.   
“Let’s get up then, shall we?” Dan asked. “The first one to arrive in the kitchen gets to choose the activity for today!” Dan said and was immediately kicked in the bladder a second time as Frederick tried to hurry into the kitchen. Dan quickly followed him.   
“I won!” Frederick shouted proudly.   
“So I see. I propose we wash first and then we head over to planning and making pancakes.”   
“Yes.” Frederick said and nodded. “Can I choose what I want to wear?” he asked carefully.  
“This is your day!” Dan said.   
“I want to wear nanny’s jumper.” Frederick said excitedly. Dan had prepared himself for something like the one suit Frederick owned so he was more than happy to obey. After going to the toilet and washing both of their faces and teeth, Dan quickly helped Frederick to put on the jumper his mother had knitted, it was a few sizes too big but Dan was happy to see Frederick loving it. He quickly took a picture and sent it to his mother. It would probably make her day, so that was definitely worth it.   
After dressing himself, Dan picked up Frederick. Balancing Frederick on his hip Dan quickly got to work with the pancakes. He used a very simple recipe and soon had a decent amount of pancakes to present. When the whole batter was gone, Dan put Frederick into his seat and got out a few toppings. They spent a lot of time decorating their pancakes and eating them. Frederick made Dan do a lot of weird faces and impersonate a few of his favourite characters. As Dan and Frederick practically only ever watched Winnie the Pooh and as Dan had been watching that nonstop in his own childhood, he had no problem doing a bit of Tigger and Winnie the Pooh early in the morning.   
Dan urged Frederick to help him clean up after they had finished their pancake feast. Frederick willingly climbed onto the counter and handed Dan all the things he had to wash. Dan was happy with that kind of effort and they were soon done.   
Afterwards, Frederick decided he wanted to play a game of the floor is lava. Dan was fine with that and happily sacrificed himself for Frederick to climb over him to get from one sofa to another. Frederick was soon exhausted, so they settled down to read a few books. They started with picture books of bears, a few of Frederick’s favourites and continued with Winnie the Pooh, their all-time favourite.   
Dan read out one whole story. Frederick sincerely thanked Dan for reading to him before asking if he could have the red and yellow toast as a dinner. Dan laughed and cuddled Frederick. For Frederick the red and yellow toast was what the toast Hawaii was for other people, like literally, that’s what Frederick called it.   
After checking the cupboards, Dan put a warm jacket on him and Frederick, and took him to the close-by supermarket. They hurried through the streets once they noticed it was already half past three o’clock. Frederick wouldn’t miss his favourite show on the television for the world! The show was Dan-approved and a shared favourite. A man called Phil, about Dan’s age, talked about a lot of different things and taught small bits every child should know. The most important message of Phil’s show was that everybody should embrace their weirdness. A thought Dan shared but he still could not not doubt Phil’s sincerity as to the things he claims to have experienced. Not wanting his son to copy this doubt that anyone would ever tell nothing but the truth, Dan continued to watch Phil’s show “Goose to see you”, also, Phil was really cute, and Dan didn’t mind looking at cute guys every now and then. 

 

Phil’s POV 

If Phil had doubted the effect the evening before he was now certain that setting “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” as his ringtone for the whole of December was the best thing he could have done to encourage enthusiasm within himself the second he woke up. Phil sat up and reluctantly stopped the song He sat up and put on his bed side lamp. While he unlocked his phone to put on a general Christmas playlist, he considered if the chance of being enthusiastic in the morning was important enough to allow a chance to perhaps ruin a favourite song of his for ever. He concluded that he had to take the risk. There was nothing better than enjoying a day from the start.   
With his phone in his hand Phil went into his kitchen to put the kettle on. He then went into the bathroom to wash and moisturize. He quickly put on some comfortable clothes and went back into the kitchen to pour some boiled water over the instant coffee powder. While drinking his coffee, Phil fully enjoyed to finally be able to listen to Christmas music. There were several people who already listened to Christmas music from the beginning of November but he had made a point not to listen to anything entirely before the 1st of December. Once he listened to everything but the last five seconds of “What’s this”, his favourite song from “A nightmare before Christmas”, he simply couldn’t help it. But that has been the only time and now he needn’t be careful any longer. Phil was delighted that it was finally officially okay to be looking forward to Christmas. Once the calendar hits December everyone was mad about Christmas. Perhaps not for its original meaning but Phil still enjoyed the spirit of it all.  
Even though it was finally socially acceptable to be mad about Christmas in the best sense possible, it was still not entirely normal to be enthusiastic about going to work each day. But that’s how it was with Phil. He loved his work. He loved announcing a new episode of “Goose to see you”. The name had been his idea, obviously. Nobody in their right mind would have chosen a name like that but as Phil was fond of geese and the weird sounds they made and as he wanted one to be his lucky mascot, the name was just perfect. Each day he would put on the hand puppet of a goose and wave it around while joyously shouting: “Goose to see you!” It was ridiculous and always made him and the rest of the people in the room laugh but as laughing was the main spirits of the show that was just fine. Phil obviously also loved the rest of his show. He loved working with the probability of giving useful advice to children. He loved the drawing and baking that occasionally were a part of his show and he loved occasionally working with children more than anything. The only rather annoying thing about Phil’s work was that only with the addition of a column he wrote twice a week for a parental magazine, he was able to live comfortably. He would probably survive without the second work but giving advice to bigger humans was also nice from time to time.   
Phil finished his coffee, looked everywhere for his earphones, eventually finding them in his jeans pocket, put on a warm jacket and left for work. He took the underground and walked a few feet to get to his work place.   
“A happy December to everyone!” Phil called out while walking through the open office area with several busy people.   
“Why not happy Christmas?” someone called back.  
“Because Christmas does not take place up to the 25th of December!” Phil shouted happily. “Happy December!” he called once more before he went into the meeting room to discuss today’s plan for the show. When Phil had been new in the whole business he had always had a whole script laid in front of him to keep him on tract but he did not need it any longer. Also, the audience liked it better if he was spontaneous. Even though Phil wondered how they could tell. After all, all the bits where he stumbled over his words were cut out, so no one could tell everything was genuine.   
After they had talked sufficiently about today’s episode, Phil cleared his throat and asked: “Do you think I can address Christmas this year?”   
“In what way?” one of the producers asked carefully.   
“In the way it’s meant to be.” Phil answered equally careful. “You know. I will treat it as a delicate topic but I want to show the children that Christmas originally meant the celebration of the birth of a very important man. I will also address the spirit in general of loving and giving but I do want to talk about Jesus as well, not in a missionary way but in a gentle and informing way.” Phil finished.  
“God, I wish I had you when I was younger, I would have needed a bit of that spirit to make up for the Heathen education on one side and the Christian education on the other.” The same producer sighed. “I propose you go along with it. I trust you.” He smiled.  
“Thank you.” Phil was genuinely touched by such a kind comment.   
“Good, if we are done here I propose everybody does what they can do best, Phil you’ll work on a draft for the ‘educational’ show so that you can have everybody’s blessing.” the female producer, responsible for the work being done in time, said. Phil started laughing loudly. “No pun intended.” The female producer quickly shouted. Phil was still giggling when he left the room.   
A few hours later, Phil stood in his usual surroundings waving the goose in front of the camera and then gently introducing Christmas as his December topic. He drew a few signs usually associated with Christmas, such as fairy lights, stockings, father Christmas, Christmas trees and candy cones. He finished with a picture of a baby in a manger. “Yes, even this little baby in a manger is important for Christmas. In a way it’s even more important than the others. He is the reason why humans firstly started celebrating Christmas. Over the next few weeks we will be discovering this baby’s origin and story together to understand how Christmas was celebrated by our grand-grand-grand-grandparents and to understand why we celebrate Christmas as we do. Ask your parents about Christmas and remember not knowing is not bad and totally common. Not even the Queen was born knowing that London was the capital of England, and if she had the right to learn in her time, so do you. See you tomorrow!” Phil said and waved while the theme song was playing in the background.   
“Well done!” the producer shouted over the camera men dramatically joining in to the “Goose to see you!” theme song.   
“Thanks! Till tomorrow!” Phil said and hurried out of the stuffy building. After a long day of work, he didn’t want to do anything but fall down onto his couch and relax. He loved work but he also loved going home again.


	2. 2nd December - Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... weekends will always be a tad later... I hope you enjoy! :) Happy 2nd December!

Dan’s POV

The day started just like approximately every day for at least a month had started. Dan woke up because of the sun making its way around the curtains, got up and woke Frederick, took care that they both cleaned themselves and made breakfast, which consisted out of cereal and fruit today. Even though it was always the same it was never really boring. Spending time with Frederick was Dan’s favourite activity ever. He loved listening to Fredericks rambling. He loved explaining stuff to him and he loved making him laugh out loud, which often resulted in hiccups.  
“What will we do today?” Frederick asked while munching on an apple.  
“Carla will come and visit.” Dan said.  
“Carl?” Frederick asked happily. Dan laughed as a response. When Frederick had started speaking he had always called Carla Carl. He probably didn’t know the difference. Carla loved to hear Frederick call her Carl but whenever Dan did it she threatened to throw him out of a window, to which Dan always dutifully replied: “Caaaarl! That kills people!”  
Dan and Frederick continued their little meal and went over to the sofa afterwards. Frederick got a book out of his own little shelf and sat in Dan’s lab. Without waiting for Dan to start reading Frederick read out the first sentence.  
“Wow! Did you just read that?” Dan asked and looked in awe at his clever boy.  
“Who else? It is just us, dad!” Frederick answered and giggled.  
“But did you read read it?” Dan asked.  
“Yes.” Frederick said.  
“Or do you know the story by heart?”  
“Yes.”  
“Pardon?”  
“Both? I know the story but I can read Paul.” Frederick explained. He opened another page and pointed at another Paul.  
“Well done!” Dan said and squeezed Frederick.  
“Is that good?”  
“It’s brilliant!” Dan called.  
“Phil said it’s good to read but no problem if one is a slow learner.” Frederick said proudly.  
“He is certainly not wrong.” Dan said and kissed Frederick’s head. Whenever Frederick told him something about Phil Dan felt a mixture of things. First of all, he was proud of Frederick’s improving memory, then he was fond of Phil for saying so important kinds of things and then lastly (a feeling that lasted far longer than the others) he felt like he failed as a father. Why didn’t he tell Frederick all the things he learned from Phil? Why couldn’t he have been the hero?  
Luckily the doorbell stopped Dan from losing himself completely in self-doubting thoughts. He picked Frederick up, put him onto his back, with a few difficulties as Frederick nearly pierced an eye out of Dan’s head because he was still holding onto the book. When Frederick was safe on his back, Dan ran to the door, pressed the buzzer and opened it. While waiting for Carla he ran around the little hallway making Frederick bounce on his back. Frederick was shrieking with laughter.  
“Carl!” he called out when Carla’s dark black hair appeared on the stairs. Dan stopped running around and ushered Carla into the flat.  
“How are my favourite hobnobs?” Carla asked while she got out of her jacket. Carla insisted on calling them hobnobs. Her explanation was that they looked like Hobbits, despite Dan’s height, and that they could be as sweet as chocolate and that they made her as happy as real hobnobs ever could. Dan eventually resigned and let her call them whatever she chose. Hobnobs was by far not the worst she had ever called him, and the nickname always made going shopping with Frederick fun. Frederick was ecstatic when he saw Hobnobs in the aisle and liked to believe they had named the biscuits after him and his dad.  
“Good!” Frederick called while he carefully slid off Dan’s back. He disappeared into the living room and Dan could hear him fanatically range his books.  
“We are fine.” Dan said with a smile.  
“Happy pre-pre-pre-pre-pre…” Carla started.  
“Stop it.” Dan said.  
“pre-Christmas.” Carla said and hugged him. She then got an advent calendar for Frederick out of her bag.  
“Oh, you shouldn’t have.” Dan said and blushed.  
“Hush. I should have.” Carla said and pushed the calendar into Dan’s hands.  
“Thank you.” Dan said.  
“This is not to show you that I have more money than you!” Carla said warningly. “It’s just to put a smile on Frederick’s face and to get a wet kiss from him. This has got nothing to do with your situation.”  
“Thank you.” Dan said more sincerely. Carla quickly hugged him and pushed him into the living room. “Frederick!” Dan called out. “Look at what Carla brought you!” Frederick spun around and quickly waddled towards them.  
“Is that for me?” he asked with big eyes.  
“It is, hobnob.” Carla answered and crouched. “You can open the first two doors if you want.” Carla said. Frederick concentrated hard to find the one on the calendar. He carefully opened it and peeled the chocolate out. He placed it on his hand and looked at it thoughtfully.  
“What is it, darling?” Dan asked.  
“This is a lot of chocolate!” Frederick said.  
“That’s okay. You’ll eat one piece a day, that won’t do you any harm.”  
“Can we share?” Frederick asked.  
“But it’s your calendar!”  
“But you don’t have one yourself.” Frederick said sadly.  
“Okay, let’s share.” Dan said quickly. He took the chocolate and snapped it in two.  
While munching on the chocolate Frederick opened the second door. “Do you want to have half a piece of chocolate?” Frederick asked Carla.  
“Yes please!” Carla answered and snapped the chocolate in two. Frederick smiled brightly and carefully placed the calendar onto his bookshelf. He stood in front of it in awe. “It is pretty.” Frederick said quietly.  
“It is.” Dan agreed.  
“Did you paint it, Carl?” Frederick asked.  
“No. We can paint something together later.” Carla said. “Now I think we could go into the park and have a look at all the Christmas lights that have been put up throughout town.”  
“Yes!” Frederick said and rushed past them. Dan followed with a frown and saw that Frederick tried to put on his shoes. “Do you want my help?”  
“Yes please.” Frederick said and stretched his legs towards Dan.  
The three of them quickly got ready and left for the park. Frederick was always running a few steps and then waiting for them. Dan enjoyed him having fun but also knew that this behaviour would lead to him being tired quite soon. But Dan loved carrying him so not even that was a serious problem.  
When they reached the park Frederick desperately wanted to go to the playground. Dan and Carla sat down and watched him climb on the various devices for several minutes without saying anything. Then Carla suddenly cleared her throat: “Dan. I know I promised never to force you to do anything but I do propose sincerely that you go to the job centre and look if there is something for you to do. There are a lot of companies that might need someone in this pre-Christmas trouble.”  
“I’ll see to it on Monday.” Dan mumbled.  
“No.” Carla said. “They are open on Saturday as well, you know?” she asked.  
“Okay. Will you take care of Frederick tomorrow then?” Dan asked.  
“With pleasure. Oh, by the way. If you find something, which I strongly suppose, I will be more than happy to ‘sacrifice’ my free days to take care of young hobnob.”  
“You are a darling.” Dan said and meant to hug her when he suddenly heard Frederick starting to cry. He rushed over to him and saw no sign of wounds, Dan quickly scooped Frederick up and rocked him in his arms. He went back to the bench and waited patiently for Frederick to start speaking.  
“S…s…squirrel.” Frederick sobbed.  
“You saw a squirrel?” Dan asked carefully.  
“Ye…es.” Frederick said, his tears slowly drying. “Phil said he got attacked by a squirrel once.” Frederick said after Dan had patiently rubbed his back.  
“Did he?” Dan asked, remembering how pretentious he had thought of it when he had first seen Phil talk about it.  
“Yes.”  
“You do not need to be afraid of squirrels. They are a lot tinier than you are and probably scared of you. All they want to do is collect food for their family. They can’t go to a supermarket, so they look for it in the park. They are essentially just cute little fluff balls who give their best to take care of their families.” Dan explained calmly.  
“So, they are like you.”  
“Well…” Dan started. “Yes.” Carla interrupted him. She had gone to a stand nearby and brought Frederick a waffle. “Exactly like big hobnob.” She said and laughed.  
“I like squirrels.” Frederick said and slowly started eating his waffle.  
Soon afterwards they made their way back. Frederick was obviously too tired to walk so Dan carried him all the way onto the sofa. Together they watched “Goose to see you”. Dan was amazed how good the program really was. Phil was amazing with explaining Christmas. Angrily Dan noticed that his heart made a little jump when Phil started laughing at the end while the credits rolled over the screen. What use would it be to develop a crush on a fictional television host? 

 

Phil’s POV

Phil was wide awake once his alarm clock reached the word Christmas. He sat up with a small smile on his face and stopped the song. Just as he did the day before, he quickly unlocked his phone and put on the Christmas playlist. He reluctantly got out of bed – just because he woke up relatively happy and enthusiastic did not mean that he deliberately wanted to leave the warm and cosy bed. After burning his tongue on the instant coffee, Phil put on his shoes and jacket and left for work. On the way there he went to a coffee shop and got another coffee. Once again, he burnt his tongue, concluding that coffee and him just weren’t meant to be that day.  
When he entered his work place, Phil took care to smile despite his burnt tongue. Just because his day hadn’t started in the best way did not mean that he had to bring others down to his level.  
Phil got rid of the coffee cup and made his way into the meeting room. He was one of the first to be there, so he doodled away on a sheet, drawing what he meant to tell his listeners later. Quarter of an hour later everybody was assembled, and the meeting started. Phil presented his “notes” with a faint blush and got the approval of his colleagues. After that topic was dealt with the male producer displayed the problems the company had. There was a lot to do in December and they desperately needed someone to do all the little tasks for them, especially as a few had called in sick.  
“So, what shall we do? You don’t think you could address this topic in today’s show, do you?” the producer asked while turning to Phil.  
“Absolutely not.” Phil said and shook his head. “It’s a children’s show I will not exploit my audience.”  
“Thought as much. I will have to contact the job centre then, God knows what trash they are going to come up with.” The producer sighed. “All settled? Good, off to work!”  
Phil helped to improve the set to make it look even more like Christmas. He spent the few minutes he had left before they recorded the show with crafting a little Christmas hat for his goose. It looked a little crappy but everyone watching his show knew that he was rubbish at crafting.  
In today’s episode of “Goose to see you!” Phil got into a little more detail about the baby boy in the manger. He talked about how he did a lot of good things later in his life and how he delighted a lot of people merely by being born. Phil concluded the show with saying: “We will keep on trying to understand the story of the baby boy in the manger in the course of December. What we learned today can be easily concluded with saying that you do not have to be immensely clever or pretty to bring joy into the world, with being born you gave the greatest imaginable joy to those close to you. You are, no matter when you were born, the greatest Christmas present they ever received. And we love you just the way you are! Embrace your weirdness!”  
Phil was happy with today’s episode and happily went home. It was delightful not to have anything to do when he came home. Even if he did not have to do anything he deliberately stated working on a scheme for teaching the children everything they ought to know about Christmas. That was great fun, even if he made a complete mess. He would have to work hard each day to decipher what exactly he had written out but he was used to that, he had always had a messy handwriting.


	3. 3rd December - Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tad late... I hope you have an amazing 1st Advent. <3

Dan’s POV 

Carla came early in the morning to take care of Frederick. They all had breakfast together and spoke a little about how they used to celebrate Christmas when they had been younger.   
“Have you ever been as small as me?” Frederick asked and stared at Carla.   
“I believe I might have even been even smaller once!” Carla answered.   
“We are all born as babies and then we grow as we get older.” Dan explained.  
“Have I grown?” Frederick asked confused.  
“I believe you have. You do no longer fit into the Star Wars pants, do you?” Dan asked.  
“No.” Frederick said and shook his head. Dan ruffled through his hair and got up.   
“I’m going to leave you two for a bit. I will be back and then we can read together. Have fun with Carla!” Dan said and kissed Fredericks cheeks.  
“Have fun.” Frederick said and returned the kisses.  
“Thanks.” Dan said and was thankful that Frederick was not yet old enough to detect sarcasm.   
After putting on some shoes and his jacket, Dan got a few papers and an outdated CV and left for the job centre. He sat in the same chair for a total of five very long hours. He spent his time with occasionally drinking very crappy coffee, filling out a form and drawing on said form. When the five hours were over he was called out as “MrHows”. Dan didn’t notice at first but when he was addressed in the same way by a consulter he corrected him saying: “It’s Howell actually.”   
“Oh, I wasn’t sure. Someone has drawn stars over the last part of the name.”   
“That would have been me.” Dan said quietly with a blush.   
“We have just the right the job for you.” The consulter said. Dan was about the congratulate him on the smooth segue but decided against it as sarcasm has never brought him anywhere, yet.   
“Thank you.” Dan said as he accepted an envelope. “When can I start?”  
“Monday morning.”  
“Amazing. Have a good day.” Dan said and got up, anxious to leave the building and to get back to Frederick and Carla.   
“You too.” The consulter said and imitated Dan’s fake enthusiasm.   
Dan left in a hurry and took a deep breath when he was outside. He went to the nearest coffee shop, got a coffee to go and briefly sat down on a bench outside to have a look at the envelope. He ripped it apart and tore the paper out. He read it not expecting anything and gasped a little when he read that he was to be a cameramen assistant at something called Bloomshill Productions, a name that was weirdly familiar. Dan loved working with cameras and lights, he hadn’t done so in ages but he was only more enthusiastic because of the lack of practise.   
Dan put the paper in his bag, quickly downed the coffee and threw the cup into a bin while hurrying home. At home he picked Frederick up and cuddled him, relieved to finally have a job again, which could enable him to buy Frederick at least some Christmas presents. After cuddling Frederick he put him down again and quickly squeezed Carla. “Thank you.” He whispered and followed Frederick into the living room. Frederick was impatiently calling out, he feared it was already four o’clock.   
“You are right, it nearly is four o’clock. Let’s get something to drink and then we will put “Goose to see you!” on, okay?” Dan asked. Frederick nodded and followed him into the kitchen to take care that Dan chose the right mugs for everybody. Dan prepared a medium warm chocolate for Frederick and tea for Carla and himself. He then hurried back in front of the television, while putting the right channel on, he cursed himself for being as enthusiastic about the stupid show as Frederick. Phil’s smiling face popped up on the screen, next to a goose with a little coat, fitting to the Christmas hat. Frederick started laughing hysterically, and Dan couldn’t push down the chuckle either.   
Dan thoroughly enjoyed the show, so did Frederick. Today Phil hadn’t spoken that much about Christmas in the way he had the two days before but it was still a very good show. Only the fact that Dan still doubted that Phil was a real person and not much rather a television persona made his enthusiasm fade a little, he was careful not to show as much in front of Frederick though.   
After Frederick and Dan had said their goodbyes to Carla, they quickly got ready for bed and cuddled together in Dan’s bed with Dan reading two full stories to make up for him not being there the majority of the day.   
“I love you, Frederick.”  
“I love you, dad.” Frederick mumbled before drifting off to sleep. 

 

Phil’s POV 

Saturdays were always a slow day at work. On Saturdays Phil looked at children’s paintings for the biggest part of the show. He only had a little bit to prepare. To make his reaction as genuine as possible a few people from the team sorted out the pictures he would show, and not himself. So, apart from preparing the beginning and the end of the show, which had to be similar to the regular ones, Phil had next to nothing to do.   
Phil arrived at work to be told that quite a few people had called in sick. Phil was not exactly anybody’s boss but as he was the face of the production he usually was the one to tell the head of Bloomshill Productions what was going on among the team of “Goose to see you!”. Today Phil decided to do the obligatory visit at the headquarters to report what was going on in the team.   
“I heard you are a little busy down there?” Mr Bloomshill asked.   
“Yes, well today is Saturday.”  
“I did not know that!” Mr Bloomshill laughed.   
“Yes, well. It’s the calmest day of the week but on all the other days we are in need of someone to help.”   
“Have you already taken care of the problem?”   
“I believe we have. Have there been any messages from the job centre yet?” Phil asked hopefully.   
“Not yet, no.” Mr Bloomshill said. “But I suppose there might be an answer later today.”   
“I hope so.” Phil said, not knowing what else there was to say. He was about to get up when Mr Bloomshill said: “What I wanted to tell you about your show…”  
“Yes?” Phil asked, anxious that there was something which did not find general approval.   
“It’s amazing! My daughter has never before pestered me as much as she does now but I enjoy her willingness to learn all about Christmas.”   
“That’s amazing!”  
“That’s what I think!”  
“So you don’t think I’m being a little too ‘western’ about the whole thing? I know that Jesus was born in Bethlehem which is not essentially speaking a part of the Western World but I am talking about Christianity so…”  
“I think you are doing it just fine. Why shouldn’t Muslim children learn why there is this hype about December? You have developed the perfect way of speaking of the topic, I congratulate you. We can’t wait for the next episodes.” Mr Bloomshill said with a kind smile.   
“Thank you.” Phil said. “Today I’m going to paint though.”   
“That’s a favourite with my boys, they love creating monsters.”   
When Phil left Mr Bloomshill’s office he was smiling brightly. It was amazing to know that there were actually people with children watching his shows and not just his mum on all the technical devices she owned. Phil found his ways confirmed whenever he got praise for something he did, especially when the praise came from children, they were always honest.   
Soon after having talked with Mr Bloomshill Phil was called into the studio to start his show. There was luckily still enough time to craft a coat for his little goose. Phil started the show as usual, and, as it was Saturday, he immediately started talking about the creature they had drawn together the last week. Saturday’s shows always came to an end with Phil spinning a wheel and drawing the body parts according to what the wheel said. Then at the end he would show his monster and encourage the children to send in the creature they had drawn. Then in the next week’s episode, he would show a few of his favourites. He usually had to pick from 20 examples lying on the table in front of him. He would usually show 10 to 15 not showing which ones he didn’t show, obviously, not to disappointed anyone.   
After having talked about last week’s monster, Phil would talk a little bit about what he used to draw when he was a kid and then look at random pictures people had sent in. Today there were a few pictures of babies and Christmas trees. Phil was honestly amazed how well the children drew. When he had been younger, and if he was completely honest, he still drew as badly as that hardly anyone ever knew what to make of it.   
Out of the corner of his eye, Phil spotted a picture which unmistakably portrayed a boy in a nativity play. He decided to keep that one for another show where he would specifically talk about nativity plays and decided to come to the last segment of his show.   
Even though Saturday really was the calmest day of the week, Phil was still pretty exhausted when he opened the door to his home. He was happy to have a day in front of him where he did not need to do anything. Unfortunately knowing that he would not have anything to do made all the precautionary measures in his brain stop working. That was why he found himself sitting on his computer at 3 am, reading about the Christmas culture in various countries. It was interesting – for sure it was – but it wasn’t healthy. It was particularly unhealthy as Phil drifted off to sleep, woke up in the middle of the night with red and crusty eyes because he hadn’t taken his contact lenses out. Phil quickly made his way blindly to the bathroom, rinsed out his eyes and made his way, equally blind into his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do leave kudos and comments to make my day! <3


	4. 4th December - Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning everyone! I hope you enjoy! :) Leave comments and kudos if you did! <3 Love to you all!

Dan’s POV

Dan was woken up by a most uncommon sound, his phone ringing. Without opening his eyes, Dan grabbed the phone and answered the call with making a discontent sound.  
“Rise and shine, darling!” his mouther shouted into his ear.  
“Mum.” Dan stated.  
“Yes.” His mother answered enthusiastically. “You might wonder why I am calling you.”  
“Indeed.”  
“I thought otherwise you might forget that you promised me to come visit us today.” Dan’s mum said. Dan was nearly immediately completely awake.   
“Right. Yes. I promised.” Dan said, sat up and rubbed his eyes. “We will be there as soon as possible.” Dan promised.  
“Don’t hurry. It is seven o’clock.”   
“Seven o’clock?!” Dan shouted and quickly bit his tongue, he had nearly forgotten, that Frederick was lying next to him, still soundly asleep. His mother laughed. “Okay. Thanks for waking me. I’ll take a quick shower, then I’ll wake Frederick and then we’ll be on our way.”   
“Train or car?” his mother asked.   
“Train. You should better arrange to meet us at the train station.” Dan said mockingly.  
“Come on, I only ever forgot you once!” his mother complained.   
“Yes, because you were busy sorting out your jar collection, I haven’t forgotten.” Dan said and laughed. His mother groaned. “I’m kidding mum.”  
“You better. I promise I will come and get you. I’m looking forward to seeing my boys again!”   
“See you!” Dan said.  
“Have a good journey home!”   
“Thanks.” Dan said and ended the call. He reluctantly freed himself from the covers, careful not to wake Frederick. He quickly took a shower and got dressed. He then went into Frederick’s room to get some pieces of clothing, choosing the jumper his mum had knitted to make waking up the least troubling for Frederick.   
“Wake up darling.” Dan said and gently brushed a few hairs out of Frederick’s face. Frederick squirmed away. “Come on, Frederick. We’re going to visit your grandparents today.” Dan said and picked Frederick up. He hummed a note while gently rocking him in his arms. Even though Frederick was already four years old he still seemed like a baby to Dan, he was luckily still light enough and willing enough to be carried around, Dan couldn’t bear to have to put him down, presumably for ever, one day.   
“Frederick!” Dan called quietly. Frederick slowly opened his eyes and smiled once they focused on Dan. “Morning.” Dan said and smiled affectionately.   
“Morning.” Frederick whispered.  
“We are going to visit your grandparents today!” Dan repeated.   
“Can I put on my nanny’s jumper?” Frederick asked.   
“Of course. Let’s get you dressed then, shall we?” Frederick yawned and nodded. Dan got up and gently made Frederick stand on his own little feet. “First we’ll wash you though and then you can get all cosy in the jumper.” Frederick nodded and followed Dan sleepily.   
It took a little longer than usual to make Frederick ready to go out, he nearly fell asleep while eating a few banana pieces. Dan carried him and a backpack all the way to the train station which made his arms go numb. A friendly lady helped him settle into his seat with taking off his backpack. Dan was really thankful as that meant he didn’t have to wake Frederick who had fallen asleep to Dan humming the theme song of “Goose to see you!”. Dan held Frederick in his arms when the train started moving and finally allowed himself to take a few deep breaths.   
Half way there Frederick woke up and was happy to be in a train. He loved travelling, even though he and Dan only ever travelled to his grandparents.   
“Can we read a story please?” Frederick asked.  
“You see Frederick, we are in a public space it might annoy others if I started reading about Winnie the Pooh.” Dan said gently. The same lady that had helped him with his backpack cleared her throat and said: “Go ahead. Everybody loves some Winnie the Pooh.” She smiled brightly and winked and Frederick. Dan smiled back and got a book out of his backpack.   
“Which one do you want to hear?” Dan asked. Frederick shrugged so Dan said: “Let’s have the one with the great big rain.”   
After reading the story out loud to Frederick who sometimes joined in with the reading, they only had to wait about ten minutes before they arrived in Wockingham.   
“Take my hand and watch the gap.” Dan said while putting on the backpack.   
“Will nanny be there?” Frederick asked while pulling Dan through the train, towards the door. Dan laughed and told him that she most certainly would be there to get them.   
“My boys!” Dan’s mother shouted once the door opened and Frederick jumped onto the platform. “Nanny!” he called and pulled Dan towards his mother.   
“I trust the journey was good?” Dan nodded in reply. “And I hope you two are not too tired.”  
“Never!” Frederick called and fell around Dan’s leg.   
“Pray, what do you have in stall for us, mother?” Dan asked and pretended to be scared.  
“Only a little bit of cooking and baking and walking, the general Sunday activities.” She replied and laughed. “Let’s get going then. The car is near-by.”   
Dan grabbed Frederick’s hand and put him into his children’s seat once they reached the car. The journey to Dan’s childhood home was not a long one so Dan didn’t even attempt to draw Frederick’s attention off the car journey, only reaching a certain amount of time in a car made Frederick a little squirmy. He could happily sit in silence for twenty minutes. When they arrived Dan quickly freed Frederick from the security belt, Frederick jumped out of the car and ran into the open arms of his grandfather. Dan got the bags and in a small amount of time they were all sitting around the breakfast table.   
“Daddy has got a job.” Was the first thing that Frederick exclaimed proudly.  
“Have you really?” Dan’s father asked.  
“I have. It’s nothing huge but something to get us through December.” Dan said, meaningfully. His father nodded understandingly and went on to ask Frederick about his favourite snack at the moment.   
“That’s hard.” Frederick said and looked like he tried to solve a great problem. “I can’t decide between Hobnobs and Maltesers.” He stated finally.   
“He truly is your son.” Dan’s mother said and ruffled his and Frederick’s hair at the same time. Dan laughed and quickly sorted his hair out after he had freed himself.   
After breakfast they decided to lend the neighbour’s dog and walk a little while in the forest nearby. Frederick enjoyed himself tremendously and Dan was really happy to be back in his family’s company. He had no idea how much he really missed his parents and made his mother promise to call him at least once a week.   
Back home the whole lot worked on a cake in the kitchen. Once it had cooled Dan and Frederick laid the table and waited for Dan’s grandparents to arrive. Now the whole family, apart from an absent brother who was travelling the world, was together. Frederick was a bit intimidated by the fact that he was the centre of attention but he quickly got used to it and took care to tell everyone about the adventures he and Dan had on a daily basis.   
Around four o’clock Dan accompanied his mother into the kitchen to prepare the dinner. Suddenly Dan heard a shrieking sound from Frederick. Dan threw his tea towel away and rushed into the living room, only to find that Frederick was laughing hysterically at something that was on the television. It was Phil. Dan exhaled and reluctantly went back into the kitchen, it was surely bad to be addicted to a television show for children.   
“He was just laughing.” Dan said when he joined his mother. The later nodded and looked at him with a fond smile. “Have I ever told you what great kind of a father you are for Frederick?” she asked and hugged him briefly.   
“I’d be nothing without you.” Dan said but still blushed at the compliment.   
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that!” his mother said, and they continued as if nothing had happened. 

 

Phil’s POV

On Sunday there was no Michael Bublé to wake Phil. He slept soundly until 11 o’clock, which was rather early for him to already be awake again after a full-on Internet session in the night. However, now that Phil was awake, he decided to get up. He changed from his lounging clothes from yesterday evening into a fresh pair of pyjamas and went into the kitchen to see if he had anything edible left. There was one packet of hobnobs left. Phil ate one but then decided he would have to go to the store to stack up his food. He quickly put on a pair of trousers, not bothering to change the shirt as well, and put on a jacket, grabbed his phone and his wallet and set off. In the shop Phil bought far too much in contrast to what he really needed. He bought a family size box of cereal and a big bottle of milk. At home, Phil suddenly felt sad as he unpacked the goods. He stared at the cereal box for an unnatural amount of time looking sad. He then suddenly started laughing hysterically. Phil had just thought about the irony of his situation. There he was, a young man living in a tiny flat presenting a children’s show on the television, buying a family sized box of cereal. One could either conclude from this that he was unnaturally addicted to cereal or that he desperately wanted to have a family.   
Phil stopped laughing as suddenly as he had started and sighed. It was probably both. When talking about children and their families on his show it did not occur rarely that he felt a pang in his heart. Phil would love to be part of a family. Well, he certainly was part of a family, consisting out of a great set of parents and a great big brother and his girlfriend. What Phil felt like he really needed in his life was his very own family. Phil sighed and pushed these thoughts as far away as possible. Who on earth would have him?  
Phil changed back into his pyjama bottoms and comfortably settled on his bed with a bowl of cereal and a cup of tea. He lazily looked through the television program, found nothing, put the television on stand by and opened a book. It was a long time ago that he had let a book fully capture him. He wouldn’t have time for that kind of activity either right now, he told himself and put the book back onto his bedside table where it already had a dust-marked place.   
In the end Phil opened his computer and spent a few hours on there, doing the same he had done the previous night – nothing. Only a call from his mother stopped the rather pathetic employment.   
“How are you darling?” she asked.  
“Good and to answer your question, no there is no one.” Phil said, he knew only too well why his mother had called him.  
“You are such a spoilsport.” His mother groaned.  
“I wouldn’t be if you would come up with different reasons as to why you call me.” Phil said. “But I really am doing just fine.”  
“So I have seen. Your show was amazing!” his mother answered, thankfully dropping the previous subject entirely.  
“Thank you. I felt a bit uneasy about it.”  
“You shouldn’t. It’s really educational! Your dad and I really enjoyed it.”   
“Thank you! That really means a lot.” Phil said and smiled. His parents had always been supportive in their very own way about Phil’s decisions. They hadn’t tried to make Phil do something else, they had agreed to see what came of Phil’s idea to become a television presenter and once they had seen him do his thing they no longer said anything about jobs at all. Phil couldn’t have been more thankful. Their fair opinion had helped Phil pursue his dream and made him the happiest he has ever been – so far.   
At the end of the phone call Phil had to realise that his mother did not give up on the subject of his having a partner or not.   
“Phil, dear. Do not hang up on me.” His mother started. Phil sighed, he immediately knew what she wanted to talk about. “As you know, your father and I are going to visit your brother’s in-laws at Christmas. I don’t want you to be alone at Christmas.”   
“You can believe me, I don’t want that either.” Phil said and laughed, rather pathetically.  
“Do you promise me to take care?”  
“I will not register into one of these dating sites!” Phil warned.  
“That’s not what I meant! But you promise that you will take care of yourself right?”   
“Yes. I will.” Phil said gently.  
“Thank you.” His mum answered and sounded pleased with herself. “Don’t be afraid of accepting dates by the way.”   
“Mum!” Phil groaned.  
“Just a helpful advice.”  
“Very helpful.” Phil groaned.  
“Love you.”   
“Love you too.” Phil said and hung up. He sadly had to admit that his mother was right in her intentions. Christmas would be extremely dull this year if Phil would really turn out to be all alone. A point in which is mum was entirely mistaken however was that Phil was not afraid to say yes to a date, the only problem was that there were never any offers. Phil groaned and tossed his phone aside and grabbed the remote once again. He put the television back on and yelped when he saw his own face starring back at himself. Phil checked the clock and saw that he had managed to tune into “Goose to see you!”, well the Sunday program, which consisted out of him doing mistakes. Against his better judgement he kept watching for a few minutes. Mr Bloomshill had once received a mail requesting a Sunday episode of “Goose to see you!”. As Phil and all the other team members had Sunday as their free day standing in their contracts there was first of all nothing to do about the problem until one of the men who were responsible for cutting the footage had the ‘brilliant’ idea of putting together funny moments of Phil’s show which had been cut out and to show them on a Sunday. Everybody was delighted, apart from Phil who was very self-conscious about the whole wide world being able to see his mistakes. Mr Bloomshill even called Phil to him once to tell him what a great success the Sunday episodes were, Phil had left the office with a big grimace which luckily looked a lot like a smile.   
Phil started at himself holding up a drawing the wrong way up and giggling once he found out, groaned and quickly switched channels. Who on earth would ever consider him? He was useless and replaceable in everything he did.


	5. 5th December - Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 5th December everyone! I hope you enjoy! :) Leave comments and kudos to make my day! <3

Dan’s POV

It took Dan a few seconds to realise where the weird sound he unmistakably heard, came from. He sat up and looked around the room, finally remembering that he had set himself an alarm yesterday evening the second before he had fallen asleep. He surely didn’t want to be late on his first day.   
Dan silenced the alarm and got up, stretching before slowly making his way over to the bathroom. He was worn out. They had spent a very agreeable day with Dan’s parents yesterday and everything had been perfect up to the point where Dan realised that he had to get back to London with Frederick. Once they were in the train Frederick had fallen asleep and didn’t wake up until Dan safely tucked him into his sheets back at home. And even then, he had only once opened his eyes and wished Dan a good night. Dan had kissed his forehead and quickly left the room to fall down on his own bed.  
Frederick being unable to walk meant that Dan had to carry the heavy backpack, his mother had taken care to stuff them with everything she could find, and Frederick the whole way from the train station to their home, not a very long journey but exhausting never the less.   
Now Dan was standing under the shower. He waited impatiently for the hot water to wake him up but so far there was no luck with that. Dan was not a morning person, especially not when he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep. Today, Dan was as tired as that he mistakenly used the shaving cream as a shampoo and had to rinse out his hair for several minutes before he dared to use the shampoo. Dan damned himself for even owning the shaving gel, as he still had the facial her of a teenage girl and asked himself why he hadn’t simply used dry shampoo instead of taking a shower. Dan sighed and stopped the water. He got out of the shower and tied a towel around his waist. Carefully not to slip, he made his way back into his bedroom and looked for something to wear. Dan always chose what to wear with great care. He didn’t want to look as unorganised as he was. Today he eventually settled for some black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt and a grey cardigan, nothing spectacular and nothing, which was a great plus, with any traces of food on it! After dressing Dan quickly sprayed some perfume onto his wrists. Nervous as he was he wouldn’t try to aim at his neck, that usually ended up with him being blind for the rest of the day as he always managed to spray into his eyes instead.   
Being fully ready himself, all Dan had to do now was to wait for Carla to arrive. His mother had promised to come and take care of Frederick on Tuesday staying a little bit. A text to Carla on the journey back at taken the fear from Dan to have no one to take care of Frederick, Carla, kind as she was had immediately agreed and was to meet him back home so that they could wake Frederick together. After drinking a cup of chocolate, the doorbell finally rang, and Dan went to open it. Carla smiled at him and he returned the smile with a little difficulty. It was obviously amazing to be able to go back to work but having to leave Frederick would not make up for the money he would eventually receive, if he would manage to keep his job for more than a day, that was.   
“Let’s wake the little man, shall we?” Carla asked and rubbed her hands.  
“Actually, I think I’m only going to briefly say good bye to him and then he can sleep as long as he wants, he will wake up soon but he needn’t be involuntarily woken up. He won’t be surprised to see you here and me absent, he will understand.” Dan said.  
“Oh dear, you are nervous, aren’t you?”  
“Who wouldn’t be?”   
“Look at the bright sight, you might finally find true love!” Carla said and winked several times. Dan shook his head and blushed. “You know, it would be about time somebody flattened those wrinkles of sorrow on your forehead.”   
“I don’t need anyone! I manage just fine with Frederick.”   
“Or you would like someone but don’t think you could ever trust again.” Carla said.   
“Everyone I have encountered apart from you and my closest family have always lied to me.”   
“My dear big hobnob, it really is time for someone to change that attitude of yours.” Carla said. Dan didn’t argue any further and simply said goodbye to Frederick and her.   
Dan took the tube to get to his new place of work. He first feared he wouldn’t be able to find it but the building had a huge sign with “Bloomshill productions” on it, so the first anxiety was quickly dealt with. Hesitatingly Dan went into the building and spoke to the first person he met, introducing himself as Dan Howell, the new employee. The man kindly directed him towards the secretary. Dan thanked him and introduced himself once more.   
The lady behind the desk frowned. “Howell?” she asked.   
“Yes.” Dan affirmed. “I am to work here, I got the letter from the job centre on Saturday.”   
“Oh! So you are our new one. Mr Hows!” she said and shook his hand. Dan was too confused to correct the name. He remembered that the consulter at the job centre also had thought his name was Hows. He really shouldn’t have doodled all over the sheet.   
“You can come with me and I’ll introduce you to a few of your colleagues, they will tell you what you can do for them.”   
“Are there many cameramen here?” Dan asked confused.  
“Yes.” The women answered equally confused. She then introduced him, and Dan quickly came to learn that he was not only to assist the cameramen of whatever show but that he was there to do a lot of small tasks for a lot of people. It would be a lie to say that he was thrilled.   
Dan’s first day only had one real advantage: Because everything was new and at least a little bit exciting the day was quickly over. On his way home Dan realised that he now knew what kind of coffee machines they had at Bloomshill production but not what exactly they were producing. He planned to inform himself later as to what they actually did. However, when Dan came home and was attacked by Frederick who planted a few sloppy kisses all over Dan’s face, he soon forgot his plans.   
Later that day after having a very late lunch or rather early tea with Carla and Frederick, Dan said goodbye to Carla and took Frederick with him to welcome his mother at the train station. Frederick was very happy to be seeing his grandmother so soon again and was thrilled when Dan told him that he would be spending entire days with her and could show her all of his places.   
“But what about you? Or Carl?” Frederick asked after beaming for a good five minutes.  
“Don’t be afraid. I will always be part of your day as well! And Carla will come and take care of you another time.” Dan said and gently stroked Frederick’s cheek.   
“Good. Then I can be happy.” Frederick said and grabbed both Dan’s and his grandmother’s hands. Dan laughed and together they danced home.   
“Will dad manage?” Dan asked when they reached home.  
“He has no choice. It’s my young boys’ turn now.” His mother answered. Dan was truly happy to have a mother like that. The support meant everything to him. 

 

Phil’s POV

Mondays have never been Phil’s favourite but they were surprisingly bearable in December. Phil woke up with the happy knowledge of being able to put a Christmas jumper on and that was enough to get him going. Phil quickly got ready and left for work.  
“Okay, first things first.” The male producer said. Phil obviously knew his name to be Edward but it was far easier to talk of the producers as the male and female one in his head. “I received some happy news: we have a new member to welcome to our team. His name is Mr Hows and he will be quite at our disposal.”  
Phil cleared his throat and looked questioningly at the male producer.  
“You know what I mean.” The male producer said hurriedly. “He is here as an assistant for us all but take care to be kind.” Phil nodded approvingly, and they went on with their general discussion of the topics for the day. Phil would be talking about Jesus a little bit in general and then would focus on the world of the time Jesus was born. He wouldn’t bother with any historical facts, he would say nothing apart from that Jesus birth was over 2000 years ago and marked the way we count our years, or something along these lines.   
When the meeting was over Phil hurried into his very own very small office and researched some facts, even if he would not present them it was better to know everything than just suppose things. He had finished just in time to be called out to do the shooting. While following the cameramen that had called him, Phil nonchalantly asked him, if he knew that Mr Hows guy. The cameramen said that he did know him and pointed towards a tall brown-haired man. Phil starred at him and gasped a little when Mr Hows turned around and walked off into another direction. Phil did not know Mr Hows but he recognized beauty when he was face to face with it.   
Mr Hows had incredibly soft features, or so it seemed to him. He had warm eyes, a cute nose and a welcoming mouth. Phil blushed at his thoughts and quickly stumbled into the set. It would do no good to think about Mr Hows. Someone with a body like that and a face as cute as that would be in no need of attention from someone as clumsy as Phil.   
It took Phil longer than normal to find his way into the show. He damned his mother to have pointed him so decidedly towards the whole partner business. Without it, he would surely have been able to concentrate right now. Okay, that was a lie. First of all, Phil never damned anyone and then he quite quickly realised that there was no possibility for him not to have been affected by Mr Hows looks.   
When Phil finally found his way into the show, he was as genuine as ever, enjoying himself immensely while talking to the goose and talking about Jerusalem at the time of Jesus’ birth. He would have never thought he could enjoy a seemingly dry topic as much as this but he was enjoying it and decided to rather embrace it than look for reasons.   
Phil finished his show with thanking all the people who had tuned in and wanted to learn something about the Christmas culture. When the theme song played through the set, Phil exhaled happily and started laughing, in a similar way as he did yesterday when thinking about the cereal box. He was exhausted.   
Phil quickly left the set and got himself a glass of water to refresh himself a little. He then remembered that he had a column due for the next day and made his way over to his little office and began to write it. Even though he was essentially working for a different company while doing so nobody ever told him off for doing so. They knew he was in a way also forming new ideas for “Goose to see you!” while earning a little bit of money on the side. Quite a few of the team had to work at a second place to afford a comfortable life so nobody made objections when someone managed to collect some free time with doing two things at a time.   
After Phil had read through his column the fifth time, he sent it to the publishers and switched off his computer. He walked out of his office and noticed that it was uncommonly empty in the big office space. Without the trouble to ask someone, he was told that it was already nearly time to finish and a few of the people had been let go early, Mr Hows was part of them. Phil sighed after his colleague left and scolded himself for it the very next moment. He should accept that work was simply work for a lot of people and not at all a source for enjoyment, as it was for him.   
Phil quietly made his way home. Even though he had told himself over and over again that he needn’t hope that Mr Hows would be under any condition willing to speak to him, Phil would still make the effort at least once to be completely sure. Phil was great at pretending, wasn’t he? All he wanted to do was to stare into that face from up close, at least once.


	6. 6th December - Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ENJOY! Oh, and a very happy 'Sinterklaas' to all those celebrating! <3

Dan’s POV

If Dan was honest, waking up on Tuesday, his second day of work, he wasn’t at all thrilled. He was still startled when he heard the alarm clock and once he remembered why he had to get up, he would have loved to just stay in bed, not thinking about the work. Being everybody’s dogsbody was not Dan’s dream occupation. He sighed and threw the covers away. He knew he had to get up to keep his job and that was the only thing that made him move.   
He clumsily made his way through his room and halfway through the living room when he suddenly froze. He definitely had heard a sound coming out of the kitchen. Not being really brave, Dan carefully made his way over to the kitchen and started laughing once he realised that it was his mother putting the kettle on and not a burglar trying to steal his bread. His mother spun around and looked confused.   
“Sorry. I’m a little sleep deprived. I thought you were a robber for a second.” Dan mumbled while yawning and then started laughing again.  
“A rubber?” his mother asked.  
“A robber.” Dan said and shook his head. “I’m going to dress and then I’ll join you for a little breakfast.”   
Today, Dan decided to put on a shirt with a weird pattern, it looked alright and as he found out it was very agreeable in the studios he needn’t put on too much, sweating was the least thing he wanted to do.   
After Dan had breakfast with his mother he left, feeling sorry that he would only see Frederick later that day. He had spent two whole months with him always being about, so not seeing him for a couple of hours (!) was a hard blow.   
At work Dan was prepared to find the whole thing even more disagreeable than he did the day before. The more he was surprised to find everyone welcoming him kindly and even more so to see them take care that he took a break every now and then. After experiencing such kind gestures, Dan was determined to forget about the first day and enjoy his work as much as he was able to enjoy any work. Dan still had to run around a lot but as he came to understand how badly his help was actually needed to enable the Christmas productions to run smoothly he was soothed and concluded that working hard wouldn’t do him any harm. Especially not once he got to know a few of his colleagues. Everyone was too busy to keep him company over the whole day but there were a few very nice chats that occurred over the day.   
Dan found himself constantly thinking about what Frederick was doing at home and knew how sad he looked whenever he thought about it. It was a way of torturing himself but he couldn’t make himself stop. Forcibly removing Frederick from his thoughts would leave him with a bad conscience so occasionally being asked why he was making such a long face was by far the more agreeable thing to do. Whenever Dan was asked about the face he made he mumbled something about thinking about Frederick, not knowing how anyone should know that he was his son. Dan didn’t care about the details. He wanted peace and if possible not too much attention for his person.   
On his way home Dan only really realised how much he missed Frederick and how exhausted he was. He had had notions of both the whole day but now the reality engulfed him. Dan hurried up the stairs, opened the door and rushed into the living room, picking up Frederick who was racing towards him, and danced through the room with him. Frederick giggled delightfully.   
Dan eventually put Frederick down and was immediately pulled towards the sofa to sit down. Dan caught his breath and shot his mum an apologetic smile. She only shook his head, laughed and squeezed his hand.   
“Dad! We need to watch “Goose to meet you!”” Frederick shouted impatiently.  
“It’s “Goose to see you!”, darling.” Dan corrected him and looked just about as surprised as his mother did. Why on earth would he remember that show’s name? “It’s only half past three anyways.” Dan said and wondered why he didn’t only know the show’s name but also the time it was broadcasted. He desperately tried to explain everything with the fact of having a young boy addicted to the show. It surely had nothing to do with Dan liking the show himself, or more like with Dan being a little too fond of its host.   
“We have time?” Frederick asked.  
“Yes. Thirty minutes.” Dan said and smiled.  
“Enough for a story?” Frederick asked, not entirely grasping the concept of time yet.  
“Yes. For a short one it should be enough time.” Dan assured him.  
“Good. I would not like the show without you reading anything. Not as much.” Frederick said and climbed onto Dan’s lab.   
“Thanks, darling.” Dan said and kissed his hair.   
“I’ll fetch something to drink.” His mother said quietly and left while Dan already got a book out. He read a short story about a rabbit and its love for carrots. It was a relatively new addition to their collection, a present from Carla and Dan was trying to open new options to Frederick. It was impressive that he could speak along to quite a few stories but getting to know new ones would not be harmful either. Dan finished right in time to put the television on and see Phil’s smiling face appear on the screen. Dan hated himself a little for liking Phil that much. He knew nothing of him, apart from the stories he told his audience and Dan was convinced that they were falsehoods so why would his heart even bother beating faster whenever he saw Phil? Because, yes, that was exactly what it was always doing, that traitor. Dan took a few deep breaths and decided with the few joys he had in life he might as well enjoy something he might not ought to enjoy. Okay, Dan had several joys in his life simply because of Frederick’s existence but Dan took it as an excuse to thoroughly enjoy the show. 

 

Phil’s POV 

Phil was running late for work. And he blushed even to think about the reason why he was late. The day had started in the usual way, him waking up to Michael Bublé announcing Phil’s favourite time of the year then Phil putting on the Christmas playlist while waking up fully. Only when Phil had decided to take a quick shower his plans were a little shaken up. In the shower he had done what he always did, he had sung along to the Christmas playlist still blaring on full volume on his phone, not caring much about the actual function of a shower: to get clean. While singing along to “Mary did you know” an image of Mr Hows suddenly sprang to Phil’s mind. Phil blushed immediately and dropped the shower gel he was using as a microphone which landed on his feet, which made Phil jump up and made Phil slip, landing relatively safely, and without much pain to report, on his bum. Phil carefully got up and continued showering in silence. No matter how hard he tried, there was no deleting the pictures from his mind. While foaming his hair, Phil thought hard about a possible reason there was to give for his mind suddenly jumping to a picture of someone he had seen once. As Phil realised that he unconsciously must have formed not only the desire to get to know Mr Hows but also to… no. Phil could not possibly finish the thought, not even silently in his head. There was no use in forming any of these desires. He would never be able to fulfil them in any way.   
So the reason why Phil found himself late for work was his mind thinking about Mr Hows at a very inconvenient moment. A reason, Phil concluded, he had every right to blush over. When Phil finally entered the building, he had made up his mind to avoid looking at Mr Hows if possible. He was also very happy to see that he was not at all as late as he feared he might be. However, Phil still rushed into the meeting room wishing everyone that called out to him a nice day but apart from that not looking anywhere apart from the door he aimed for.   
The meeting was not exciting enough to stop Phil from thinking about the new employee. When Phil left the meeting room again, literally remembering nothing of what they had discussed inside it, he told himself that it was of no use to be afraid of a possible encounter with Mr Hows. He would have to present himself eventually anyways so doing it as soon as possible would prevent his mind going any further than it already was. However, Phil found no opportunity to actually talk to Mr Hows. Whenever there might have been an opportunity to do so he was called away or Mr Hows suddenly disappeared before he could be approached by Phil. Phil was a little lost at the time he started with his show. Luckily the show managed to catch his attention soon enough and he was himself again, with merely thinking of Mr Hows six times.   
“Yesterday we talked a bit about the situation in the world at the time Jesus was born. Today I want to go into a little more depth on that account. We are going to start with understanding the story as a whole. Don’t be afraid it is very easy to grasp. I know all of you to be eager little learners so you needn’t be afraid. I give you my word for it. We are starting with a leader called King Herod. You could compare him to our Queen Elisabeth II but at the end of today’s show you will notice how unfit such a comparison would be.” Phil started taking care to speak as slowly as possible. While explaining Herod’s conduct he drew little signs to make it easier for very young listeners to follow. Phil was aware that he had no real drawing skills to recommend but he was positive that his drawings were fair enough.   
Once Phil had finished he noticed how exhausted he was. An episode of him giving a detailed description of a difficult topic were by far more exhausting than episodes where he attempted to sing a few songs and give their origin story to his audience. Just like he did usually, Phil immediately went over to the snack station and got himself a big glass of water. His throat was dry and he needed to hydrate to be able to form some clear thoughts. As Phil saw Mr Hows standing nearby he regretted his decision to drink something because Mr Hows was not alone. He was animatedly speaking to one of Phil’s colleagues and Phil noticed horrified that he was jealous! Hadn’t he promised himself to stop his brain from going too far? He had obviously made a great job. An amazing job. A job that no one could have done better. Phil quietly banged his head against the wall which earned him a weird look from the conversation partner. Phil smiled crookedly and quickly disappeared into his office, not going out of it before it was time to go home.   
On his way home however, Phil was mad. Why was he behaving so cowardly? Why couldn’t he just own up to being a man and just talk to Mr Hows? Phil was determined to talk to Mr Hows the next day. How bad could it be? He would certainly not die so he might as well take the risk.


	7. 7th December - Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! <3 Have a great Thursday! :)

Dan’s POV

Wednesday morning was uneventful for the majority of the Howell household. Frederick slept until Dan was gone, and Dan slept as long as he possibly could. Only his mother made quite some noise early in the morning. She joined Dan for tea in the kitchen and explained what she had been doing when Dan cast a questioning glance in her direction. He was not yet keen to speak so he had to communicate with glances, luckily his mother understood him.   
“I have been up since six o’clock. It’s a long time since I have been up so early but it’s quite something. You get to do a lot in these early hours.”  
Dan mumbled something. “What I have done?” his mother asked, Dan nodded. “I have nearly finished all of your laundry.”  
“You shouldn’t have.” Dan mumbled, a little more articulate than previously.   
“It was a pleasure. No one would damn you for not doing it yourself. You have a life, a job and an adorable son, no need to focus on the laundry.” His mother said gently.   
After Dan had finished his tea, he grabbed an apple and set out for work. He nearly suffocated because a piece of the apple mistakenly went into the windpipe. Usually, Dan was able to eat but on seeing Phil’s smiling face on a small screen underground, advertising the show, surprise had gotten the better of him. Dan coughed several times and entered the underground with a bright red face.   
The third day turned out to be even less bad than the others. Dan was still very exhausted and needed the small breaks but as he finally understood the general small tasks he had to complete he got quicker, and new interesting tasks came before him. So today, after running around endlessly trying to find a certain person and finding them with asking a seemingly random person if they could help him it turned out they were them. Dan had started laughing and probably sounded like a maniac but that task was complete so he could finally switch to working with something more like his cup of tea. The cameramen had nothing to do for him but the light-crew was happy for his help. Dan excitedly followed them into something that looked like a set. Well, it certainly was a set but it looked like something Dan had already seen. However, he had no time to look at it until he understood why it seemed oddly familiar because after hanging up the lights he was rushed out of the room to fetch some coffee. Everybody was nice enough so Dan didn’t even think of putting salt into their coffees. They were all working hard, and he was nothing but the dogsbody and someone had to get the coffee for everyone.   
When Dan had delivered the coffee to everyone, he noticed how calm everything was suddenly. Dan didn’t think about it too much. He simply got himself a coffee and enjoyed not having to do anything for a moment or two. He was just drinking the last gulp of coffee when he noticed that his trouser pocket was vibrating. Dan placed the mug onto the tray for empty crockery and got his phone out. He saw that his home phone was calling. Dan had had no means of installing a land line when he had first moved into the flat (with Emma) but he had bought a cheap phone and put it within Frederick’s reach so that he could call him if there was an emergency. Keeping this background in mind, it certainly wasn’t a surprise to see the entire colour disappear out of Dan’s face and a slim layer of sweat cover his forehead. Dan’s thumb trembled as he pressed to take the call.  
“Frederick?” Dan asked and tried his best to appear cheerful, perhaps it wasn’t really an emergency, perhaps Frederick wanted to call him to tell him a story, not that that has ever happened before but he might as well, right?   
The whimper-y “Dad!” and the sobs that followed made Dan’s assumptions invalid.   
“Yes Frederick. This is me. Is everything alright?” Dan asked tentatively.  
“No.” Frederick sobbed.   
Dan knew there was no way to get any valid information out of Frederick right now so he said: “Okay darling. I’m coming right now. I love you, take care!”   
Frederick whimpered something in return and it sounded like he simply placed the phone onto the table. Dan smiled despite his worries and ended the call himself.   
Dan turned around, looking for someone to explain to why he had to go. He saw that there was someone standing close by. They were smiling and winking at Dan. “You go. I’ll explain.”   
Dan was confused but too thankful to ask what they meant. He thanked them quickly and rushed out of the building making his way as quick as possible home. He raced up the stairs and panted while opening the door. Frederick was sitting huddled up against a wall, sobbing quietly.   
“Frederick. Darling. I’m home. Everything is fine.” Dan said as he kneeled down in front of Frederick. He stroked his hair and gently picked him up, sitting down with him on his lap on one of the sofas. “What is it?” Dan asked quietly.  
“My fault…” Frederick said quietly.   
“What happened?” Dan asked, hoping he wasn’t pressing the matter too much. “Where is your nanny?” he asked while looking around the room. On that note Frederick started crying again.  
“I… she… I can read alone… she went…”   
“Where did she go?” Dan asked patiently.  
“Bathroom.” Frederick said, big tears streaming down his small face. “Locked.” He sobbed in addition and hid his face in Dan’s chest. Dan picked him up and tried to be as calm as possible while walking to the bathroom’s door. Luckily, he was too occupied to sooth Frederick as that his mind could jump to conclusion and paint dark scenarios.   
“Mum?” Dan asked and knocked on the door. “Mum?” Dan asked a little louder. Frederick started sobbing again. “Mum! Open the door!” Dan shouted while pressing Frederick’s head into him so he wouldn’t hear him that loudly. Dan continued knocking and shouting when he suddenly heard a splashing sound coming out of the bathroom.   
“Mum?” he asked.   
“Dan?” she asked back.   
“What on earth are you doing?” Dan asked and made Frederick uncover his ears.  
“I could ask you the same thing! Aren’t you meant to be at work?”   
“Come out quickly and I’ll explain.” Dan said finally feeling properly calm again.   
Dan’s mum came out in a dressing gown with soaking wet hair. “Whatever is the matter?” she asked. Dan meaningfully glanced down at Frederick and hoped she would at least be able to fathom what had happened here.  
“Let’s all have something to drink first, shall we?” she asked kindly. Frederick nodded but still clung onto Dan’s neck.   
While the kettle was boiling the water and his mother made Frederick a medium warm chocolate, Dan sat on a chair in the kitchen gently rocking Frederick. “So tell me what you have been doing in the bathroom.” Dan said. He was a little angry with his mother but seeing her so visibly sorry for what had happened already made him forgive her.   
“I have accidentally fallen asleep in the bathtub.” She said calmly. “I guess I have been exhausted from all the things I have done this morning.”  
Dan exhaled deeply. “Okay, promise me to never do our laundry early in the morning ever again. Because I can’t have Frederick calling me in a desperate manner six days a week.” Dan said and hugged Frederick.  
“Oh dear. I am awfully sorry, darling. My dear boy, so clever of you to call your father.” She said and handed him his favourite mug. Dan smiled and was happy that they had been able to settle the whole thing without any major accident.   
They spent the rest of the day huddled together on the sofa. They obviously watched Phil’s show and enjoyed every bit of it. When Dan wanted to put Frederick to bed at night he wouldn’t be left alone so Dan simply took him into his own bed. Hoping that everything would be a lot easier the next morning.

 

Phil’s POV

Phil was embarrassed to find himself actually dreading to go to work. He had had the same conversation over and over again in his brain. Mr Hows could do him no harm and speaking to him now would at least bring certainty that he had no chances. It was not nice to think about it but Phil knew deep down that it was best to get done with this whole business. The incident the morning before, about which he could still not think without blushing furiously, had made him realise how important it was for him to make his stupid brain realise that he would never have any chance with someone like Mr Hows.   
Phil took a deep breath before he walked into the studios. In contrast to his behaviour the day before, he now took great care to walk as slowly as possible. Perhaps he would meet Mr Hows this way. Turned out, he didn’t. Phil was a little disappointed when he reached the door. He looked around a last time, still couldn’t see him so he walked inside the meeting room. Today he gave his best to appear attentive. His thoughts still trailed off but when he left the room again he had at least a faint notion of what had passed inside. Today, Phil was to explain the story of Mary and Joseph. He had proposed that and perhaps only remembering what he himself had said was not the best way to show that he had paid attention but he had certainly improved when you compared today’s achievements with yesterday’s.   
Phil had a bit of time to prepare the show. He used that time to update his knowledge on Jesus’ family. He quickly realised that he knew all the main facts by heart so he decided to use his time to look for Mr Hows instead. Phil took a deep breath and walked out of his small office. Someone rushed past him. Phil looked around and saw that it had been Mr Hows. He had left a bewitching notion of a scent. Something very sweet mixed with freshness and cleanness. Phil shook his head and smiled. This was once again proof as to why he was a children’s television presenter and not someone trying to sell scents via television. He was rubbish at explaining what he smelled or what the scent meant to him. Perhaps saying that Mr Hows scent made him feel at home would express his feelings quite fittingly.  
Phil had no time left to think about scents as he was called into the set to do his show. He was determined to perform as good as ever so he did not give himself anytime to find back on track, he pretended to be on track which made him be on track. It was stupid but it worked well enough for Phil to adopt it as a mechanism he could use whenever he was in need of concentration.  
“We all remember that Herod had ordered every man to go to their birth place so that he could count the people living in his kingdom. That is why a man called Joseph and his pregnant wife Mary set off to the man’s birth place. It was always this way around. The women followed their men. The men were the heads of their families and women had little to say.   
“Joseph was a very kind man. He took great care of his wife Mary. These names might seem familiar to you. You might have heard them in church or you might have friends called after them. Joseph and Mary are present names, even today because they were the parents of Jesus, the small baby in the manger I told you about. As you can’t call your child Jesus in several countries, a lot of parents have decided to name their children after the parents, or perhaps just because they really liked the name.   
“Right now, we want to speak about the original Mary and Joseph. Joseph was a hard-working carpenter and a loving husband. He took great care and pains to make the long journey all his way back to his birth place for his pregnant wife agreeable. He walked all the way while Mary could sit on a donkey.”  
At this point Phil started laughing. He had drawn along to his talking and had now attempted to draw a donkey, without great success. “This is a donkey. Not a walrus – pony hybrid.” He said and started laughing again. He calmed down after a few moments and continued as serious as possible.   
Phil finished the show and was happy about his success. It gave him such a boost that he could think with determination to talk to Mr Hows. He quickly left the set and looked everywhere. After not finding him anywhere he eventually asked one of his colleagues if they had seen Mr Hows.  
“Right, sorry. I forgot to tell you. He has left early. I told him he could go after I noticed he wanted to go to a date with someone called Frederick.” Phil was told. Phil politely expressed his thanks, collected his computer and went home to work on his column.   
He needed a bit of time to know what he wanted to write about. Nothing really seemed to fit. He wanted to write something cheerful as he had a notion that that was what the readers enjoyed most but with the thought of Mr Hows being on a date hardly anything cheerful made his way through Phil’s brain.   
Phil knew he should have expected something of this sort. Mr Hows simply couldn’t be single. Without ever having talked to him, Phil was sure that Mr Hows personality was as captivating as his looks. If only looking at his smile and hearing his laugh could make Phil fall for him than someone actually knowing him would have no problem being in love with him.  
Wow. So, it was official. Phil had fallen for Mr Hows. He had tried at least a little not to but apparently, he would have had to have tried a little harder.   
Phil quickly wrote something and sent it without reading through a second time. He then slammed the computer shut and went into the kitchen to make himself a calming cup of hot chocolate. The only problem was that the chocolate really was hot. Phil burned is tongue, accidentally let go off the mug to the sensation of a burning mouth and concluded while cleaning the floor that the universe was unmistakably against him. Not a great thought to fall asleep to.


	8. 8th December - Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 8th December everyone! At least it's already Friday for us! Enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think! <3

Dan’s POV

Sadly, the next morning did not make the situation any easier. Frederick woke up when Dan tried to quietly leave the bed. When Dan told him quietly that he had to go to work Frederick started crying violently.   
“Come on Frederick.” Dan said and gently brushed the tears away. “I need to go to work.”   
At that point his mother came into the room. She gently picked Frederick up and said decidedly: “I will never let go of you today. Not even for a second.”  
“Promise?” Frederick asked quietly and already started smiling again when his grandmother nodded. However, on seeing Dan leave the room he started crying again. “Don’t leave, dad!”   
“I have to but I promise to come back as soon as possible. I will bend walls to come back soon.” Dan said and kissed Frederick’s head. Frederick seemed pleased with that and fell asleep on his grandmother’s arms. Crying had exhausted him.  
Dan quickly changed and ate a banana before rushing out of the door. He would work as quick and good as humanly possible. They simply had to let him go early! They had to!  
At work Dan was sure he had never behaved so diligently. He didn’t even rest once. He constantly worked and ran around with the result that there was literally nothing left for him to do. About two hours before he would actually finish, Dan took his courage in both hands and asked where he could ask to leave early because he had urgent matters at home. He was pointed towards a black-haired man. Dan took a few deep breaths and walked over to him. He cleared his throat but didn’t dare to look up if the answer would turn out to be negative.   
“Sorry to bother you.” Dan started.  
“That’s okay.” The man replied.  
“I came to ask you if it would be possible that I could go home now. I am needed there and I am no longer needed here.” Dan mumbled, still not looking up.   
“Of course you can go. See you tomorrow.”   
Dan mumbled a quick “Thanks.” and grabbed his things to storm out of the building. He rushed home. Just because he hadn’t received a call didn’t mean that Frederick didn’t miss him. Dan arrived home a panting mess. He leaned against a wall to catch his breath. His state would surely not calm down Frederick. It was best to appear calm and collected.  
Dan opened the door and before he could call out a “Hello!” he heard tiny footsteps racing towards him. Frederick jumped up and hugged Dan around the waist.   
“You are back!” Frederick shouted.  
“I am!” Dan said and picked Frederick up. “What do you want to do now?” Dan asked and swirled Frederick through the air.   
“Can we go to the park?” Frederick asked between giggles.  
“Of course we can.” Dan said and placed Frederick safely onto the ground.   
“Won’t you be in trouble if someone saw you?” his mother asked.  
“Presumably. I don’t care though. I was allowed to go early so I might as well enjoy the little bit of time I gained.” Dan concluded.   
“Okay. It is your place of work not mine.” His mother said and smiled.  
“Precisely.”  
“Come on! Let’s go!” Frederick called. He was trying to put his shoes on but he had accidentally mistaken the sides. “We will be back for the show, won’t we?” he asked while Dan corrected his mistakes.  
“We will.” Dan said and shook his head. They were complete maniacs, the two of them.   
In the park, Dan and Frederick raced each other over a great green field. Frederick was laughing, and Dan was the happiest he has been these past few days. Frederick looked adorable with his bonnet and the scarf trailing behind him.   
“What shall we do now?” Dan asked Frederick.  
“Let’s go to the lake.” Frederick said.   
“The lake? That is quite far away.”  
“But you like it.” Frederick said and shrugged. Dan had to resist the urge to squeeze him as tightly as he could. How on earth had he come to have such a caring and clever son?   
To the lake they went. Frederick was right. Dan loved to look at the occasional small waves the wind blew into the mirror like surface. Looking at the scene only for a couple of minutes already calmed Dan down.   
“There are ducks!” Frederick squealed.   
“There are!” Dan shouted back and laughed. “Perhaps we can come and feet them on Sunday.” He proposed.  
“Yes!” Frederick said.   
“I think we have to go home now.” Dan’s mother said suddenly. Dan checked his watch. It was half past three o’clock. They would surely need at least twenty minutes to get back home, even if they would use the tube and not walk the whole way.   
While hurrying through the park and through full underground stations with Frederick in his arms, Dan realised how lucky he could call himself to have found such a nice job. Not only were they kind enough to let him go early twice already, they also normally finished at a very agreeable time which enabled Dan to spend some quality time with Frederick. It could certainly have come much worse.   
At home Frederick immediately ran towards the television. Dan followed him and put the program on. They were five minutes early. Dan was quite happy about that because he could hardly hear a sound from the blood pumping through his veins. When Phil’s face popped up on the screen, he was remotely calmer and could hide the pleasant shiver that ran down his spine at seeing him laugh.   
“I think we can all make use of a learning break. That is why we are going to bake something today.” Phil said and smiled brightly.   
Dan enjoyed today’s episode tremendously. He loved the baking episodes. For him it felt like Phil was the most like himself when he was filmed at his baking attempts. Not that Dan could ever know what Phil was like in real life but he felt like the baking Phil was closest to a real person. No one could be as kind and cute all the time, which made the rest of the episodes seem improbable. The only thing that bugged Dan was that it felt like the show had made Phil overly clumsy. He was always nearly tossing something off the counter. It was adorable but sadly didn’t seem like something anyone would do in real life.   
“Can we bake them?” Frederick asked after Dan had shut off the television.   
“The biscuits?” Dan asked.  
“Yes!” Frederick shouted.   
“We can try.” Dan said, and they went into the kitchen. His mother followed. “They are going to be our desert for dinner.”   
“Yes. Can I choose the cutters?” Frederick asked.  
“Sure.” Dan said and opened a few cupboards to look for baking utensils. His mother opened his computer and quickly googled the website from Phil’s show and opened the recipe.   
“Let’s get started. Frederick, you can sit on the counter.” Dan directed. They finished quickly enough with the dough. The only problem was that it had to be put into the freezer for thirty minutes.   
“You two can read a story and I’ll clean up this mess.” His mother proposed so Dan and Frederick happily set off. They read another story about Paul the bear before they were called back into the kitchen to help cut out the biscuits. Frederick had decided for some bears, foxes and reindeers. In his opinion all animals that could be linked with Christmas.   
They were finished rather quickly and very proud of their success. For dinner Dan made them a quick noodle dish. After they had eaten the noodles they enjoyed the first biscuits.  
“They are really tasty.” Frederick said and grabbed a handful of biscuits.  
“Young sir, we agreed to eat one today. We can have the others for tea tomorrow.” Dan said and laughed.   
“Can I have one for breakfast? You can have one too.” Frederick said.  
“Okay. But now we are all off to bed.” Dan said and tickled Frederick towards the bathroom. 

 

Phil’s POV

Today, December was one week old, a good enough reason for Phil to put on a Christmas jumper. He went to work as confidentially as he could decidedly looking forward to seeing Mr Hows again.   
Sadly, Mr Hows seemed too occupied the whole day to be spoken to. Phil’s only comfort was the biscuits he made in today’s episode. Baking in the show always meant that Phil spend nearly his entire day on set. He would have to give clear instructions, make the dough, often wait for the dough to cool and then bake them. All the recipes were different but all of them usually kept Phil busy for the majority of his time at work.   
“Today we are going to bake some Christmas biscuits together. As it is not yet Christmas we could also call them December biscuits.” Phil started then he gave instructions on what ingredients will be needed.  
“Some sly foxes amongst you might have noticed that the recipe I am using today to bake our December biscuits is near to identical to the pumpkin spiced pumpkin biscuits we once baked together. I can give you a reason for that coincidence. Spicing the biscuits up with a little bit more cinnamon and vanilla essence transforms them from spooky Halloween biscuits into delightful December biscuits.” Phil said and laughed while shaking his head. “I am sorry! These are the only biscuits I can make without setting fire to anything! I will try to improve, perhaps a few of you have some recipes I could use. Send them in and I will be more than willing to try them out!”   
The baking was fun and the decoration, which was optional, was a lot of fun as well. Phil artfully tried to make the brownish biscuits appear December-y. When the show was over Phil went outside and once again got himself a glass of water. He was discussing tomorrow’s show with one of the set organisers. They had to rearrange the set to what it usually was and put all the baking utensils back into the storage cupboard.   
Just when the organiser went away, someone behind Phil cleared his throat. Phil spun around and nearly yelped when he saw Mr Hows standing in front of him. Phil could mark out a faint blush but he couldn’t be sure if it was because of speaking to him or because of what he had to tell him. The reason as to why Phil couldn’t be sure was that Mr Hows simply wouldn’t look up. He kept staring onto the floor, explicitly avoiding looking at Phil.   
“Sorry to bother you.” Mr Hows said. A warm shiver ran down Phil’s spine at the sound of his voice. He had never heard him speak before. The voice was, even though Mr Hows decidedly tried to wash it free from emotion, Phil could tell that much, his voice was still very soft and drew Phil in.   
“That’s okay.” Phil said and cursed himself for the dumb answer he had chosen. What on earth was he on about?   
“I came to ask you if it would be possible that I could go home now. I am needed there and I am no longer needed here.”   
“Of course you can go.” Phil said with a pained smile. “See you tomorrow.”   
“Thanks.” Mr Hows mumbled and rushed away. Not once had he looked into Phil’s eyes. Phil was a little hurt. Was he so abominable that he couldn’t even be looked at? There might be some truth in there but having the worst suppositions confirmed was not a good feeling. Phil was now able to be sure about two things. First of all, there was something repulsive in his personality that made people unwilling to speak to him and secondly his colleague was right, Mr Hows had a date. There was no use contradicting that. He was not needed here but he was needed at home, in other words: he had a date.   
Phil went home that day with little to no spirits left. At home he took a long shower. He listened to his Christmas playlist and finally concluded while singing along to “Jingle Bells” at the top of his voice, that it would be best not to let anyone prevent him from having a nice December and a nice Christmas, not even someone as pretty as Mr Hows. Phil however also concluded that he wouldn’t be defeated this easily. He would talk to Mr Hows a second time and would at least show himself to be a kind person. He would destroy the image of a repulsive character and would take care that no one could say he wasn’t attentive. Phil obviously knew that he quickly had to get rid of the crush he had developed. Mr Hows already had someone, an important fact. Phil laughed. Why would he have to take care of that? It would surely be sufficient to know himself never to be considered. With no spirit left to do anything Phil quickly went to bed, tossed around until he finally was able to sleep.


	9. 9th December - Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy! <3

Dan’s POV 

Friday started a little easier than Thursday. Dan was able to leave without having to convince Frederick that everything would be good. Dan could leave with the happy knowledge that his mother would take great care of Frederick. She loved him dearly.   
On the way to work, Dan took great care to soak up all the Christmas spirit he could get. There was a lot to get. London had transformed itself from a rather gloomy autumn city to a bright and twinkly Christmas city. Dan gawped at the different shop displays and felt the urge to buy himself and Frederick matching Christmas jumpers. Only his empty wallet reminded him that perhaps something to eat would be the better thing to buy. Dan blushed and quickly walked on. He did not particularly like being poor. It was especially hard to know that with all the comforts he still experienced he had no right to moan in the grand scheme of things. Dan was supported by his amazing family and friends. They cared to make Frederick and himself want for nothing. Dan still hated that he couldn’t just buy some treats for Frederick. Occasionally his parents would take the part of the buying but that would usually leave Dan feeling uncomfortable.   
Dan shuddered. The work he had right now perhaps did not pay enormous wages but it certainly put him back onto the right track. With time he would perhaps be able to earn more money. Sadly, making more money would most definitely bring the consequence to see less of Frederick and that was a thought Dan couldn’t bear.   
With determination to always do what was best for Frederick, Dan walked down the tube steps only to be once again put off balance at the sight of Phil’s smiling face. Perhaps to some who didn’t know him Phil would appear plain but Dan was convinced that anyone who really knew Phil could not help liking him and discovering the beauty that lay within his features.   
It. Is. All. Pretence.  
Yes. Dan ought not to forget that! It could turn out to be the last thing that could help him form actually falling for him because if Dan was being completely honest, he was on the verge of doing so. The episode yesterday with the baking had melted his heart. Twice, in fact. The first time was when he had watched Phil baking and the second time when he had watched Frederick imitating Phil. Dan still felt the same unwelcome pang whenever he felt like Phil was, without ever knowing either of them, a better role model for Frederick than he himself could ever be. Even if these feelings were a next to constant companion of Dan’s, he couldn’t let four o’clock pass without watching the show himself.   
Dan arrived at work and immediately started working. He had begun to understand that a few of his new colleagues would go a little easier on him if he brought them their personal favourite hot beverage first thing in the morning.   
“Have a good day!” Dan found himself saying several times while placing a mug of coffee, cappuccino or a tea onto several different desks.   
“How could I have survived without you?” someone asked only to say in the next second: “Would you be a darling and put this onto the suggestion pile?”   
Of course Dan would always go and do as he was told. He didn’t really have any other option anyhow. He was paid to do what the others told him to, he sometimes simply wished they would choose different kinds of tasks.   
Halfway through the day Dan decided he needed a break. He made himself a hot chocolate and got the biscuits out he had made with Frederick. He smiled as he remembered that Frederick had surely eaten his breakfast biscuit with the uttermost delight. He frowned at himself for the vocabulary he chose but concluded that his eloquence right now simply had to do with the fact that he was in desperate need of a break.   
Dan settled down on one of two always empty chairs. He did not wonder that they were always empty. They were placed in the middle of the room with no privacy or silence to make up for the bad upholstery. Besides, most of the people working at Bloomshill productions, so to say everyone apart from Dan, already had their own place, if it wasn’t a small office it was at least a desk and a comfortable chair.   
So Dan was left quite alone sitting on one of the uncomfortable chairs in the middle of a noisy room, enjoying his break. He was munching on the biscuits and was deep in thought about how Phil managed to achieve anything while being so clumsy. These biscuits were delicious and even if they were not directly made by Phil they had still used his recipe. Dan was quietly eating on when someone suddenly sat down on the second chair.   
“Snacking on props, are we?” someone asked.   
“Pardon?” Dan asked while looking around. Breath got caught in his throat. He knew the man that had sat down next to him. He knew him quite well. He had never personally seen him but on noticing the blue eyes he felt as if someone as familiar as a friend had sat down next to him. But no. It wasn’t a friend. It was Phil who was sitting there. The presenter of “Goose to see you!”.   
“You’re Phil… I mean Mr Lester. You are the presenter of “Goose to see you!”, you… you probably know all this yourself.” Dan finished and silenced himself with a blush.   
“Yes, I am.” Mr Lester said with a confused smile, it was weird to call him Mr Lester, even in thought. Dan had gotten so used to calling him Phil that the formality seemed all wrong. “You can call me Phil, if you like.” He added. Dan exhaled. Problem solved. Then he frowned and tried his best to smile, he was talking to Phil! Right now! “So tell me, what are you doing with the props?” Phil asked.   
“Props?” Dan asked dumbfounded. “Oh.” He said and blushed. Phil being here, next to him at this time of the day meant that Phil himself was working here at Bloomshill productions. Dan was eating the same sort of biscuits that Phil had baked in this very same building yesterday. Dan wondered how he had never met Phil before and then he noticed that he had been silent for an awful amount of time. “You see. These aren’t props. These are mine. I… I baked them. I baked them with Frederick, yesterday at home. Do you want one?” Dan asked desperate for himself to stop talking.   
“I’d love one, yes. Thank you, Mr Hows.” Phil said and immediately bit into the biscuit Dan handed him.  
“It’s Howell actually, or rather Dan. Dan Howell.” Dan said with a blush.   
“Oh?” Phil asked, obviously not catching on to what Dan was saying.  
“I might have drawn all over the application sheet so that my name mistakenly got passed on as ‘Mr Hows’. You are not the first one to call me that. It is Howell. But you can call me Dan. I mean only if you want to. It’s not obligatory.” Why was he making such a fool out of himself?  
“Thanks Dan.” Phil said and smiled. “This biscuit tastes amazing.”   
“Only because we used your recipe.” Dan said and blushed once more. Okay, perhaps the red simply didn’t leave his face.  
“Sorry?”  
“Frederick and I.” Dan said. “We used your recipe yesterday, my son loves your show.” Dan said with a big smile. This conversation was the last he had dreamed to ever have. 

 

Phil’s POV

Phil couldn’t believe what was happening right now. He had wished to finally be able to talk to Mr How… to Dan but this was still in the best way absurd.   
“This biscuit tastes amazing.” Phil said while munching on the last part that he had left.  
“Only because we used your recipe.” Dan said, not directly looking into his eyes but also not avoiding them entirely as he had done the day before.   
“Sorry?” Phil asked. He had paid too much attention to Dan’s eyes and too little to what he was actually saying.  
“Frederick and I.” as if that made it any clearer to Phil. “We used your recipe yesterday, my son loves your show.” Now Dan was properly looking and smiling at Phil, which made Phil smile as well and which also made Phil realise the content of what Dan had said a little late.   
“Wait. Your son?” Phil asked.  
“Yes. Frederick, well and I, we lov… we like the show a great deal.”   
“Frederick is your son?” Phil asked.   
“Yes.” Dan answered calmly.  
“So you left to attend your son yesterday?” Phil asked slowly.  
“Who told you?” Dan asked.  
“You asked me if you could leave early.” Phil answered confused.   
“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t quite recognize you then. We had a bit of a problem back home.” Dan answered and quickly looked down to his shoes. Phil started smiling widely. The realisation of Dan not having a date but looking after his son finally kicked in.   
“So you watch “Goose to see you!”?” Phil asked, simply not to let the conversation die.  
“We do. Each day at four o’clock we sit on the couch and watch “Goose to see you!”.” It appeared like Dan wanted to say something else but he stopped and did not go on. Phil would have loved to keep talking and was just about to ask another question when someone called him over to the set.  
“I have to go and shoot now.” Phil said and got up.  
“Shoot? Oh, I see. Yes. Have fun.” Dan said.   
“Thank you. Have a great day. Perhaps we will see each other soon.” Phil said and left as quickly as possible. Why was he so awkward? He could have just left but no, he had to make Dan feel like he was obliged to come and talk to him because Phil was so very important. If only he had said nothing! If only his brain would have been kind enough to wait for a second conversation to reveal how desperate, stupid and weird he was.   
Before Phil disappeared into the room he quickly glanced over his shoulder and saw that Dan was still sitting on the same chair and that he was in fact smiling. This gave Phil a little hope that he had not yet managed to reveal his complete weirdness and that there was still reason to think that he could make Dan like him. Okay, well. What Phil originally meant to say was that he would still have the opportunity to become friends with Dan. The only problem was that it had been a long time since Phil had a true friend that it felt like he would work uncommonly hard to make one and not that someone might like him. No one these days was doing charity things anyways and that was what Phil would be. A case of charity.   
Phil tried hard to forget everything before he went into the set to record today’s episode.   
After doing his obligatory introduction Phil got out his drawing board.   
“We all know what this bad boy – nope. I can’t say that on a children’s program. We all know what this white thing means. It means that we are once again going to listen to me trying to explain some historical or religious, or both, facts to you.” Phil shook his head. “Can I start all over again?” he asked.   
“Sure. Go ahead.” The male producer, who was about to leave the room, said.   
“Thanks. Okay. Today, as I got… No. We all know what this stands for. We are going to learn more about Christmas. These past episodes you might have asked yourself where Christmas was to be found. Today we are coming a little closer to the real Christmas story.” At this point Phil started drawing onto the white board. “A little disclaimer on this note. A few of you, especially the older ones might think after watching today’s episode that I might as well have read you something from the Bible. In a sense, that is true. Of course it is true. We only get whatever little we know about Christmas in its original form from nowhere else than the Bible. But I still don’t want to read to you out of the Bible and do nothing else. This is a show for all sorts of people. If young or old, Christian or Buddhist, fond of cats or dogs, everyone can watch this show, it doesn’t matter who you identify as. So reading from the Bible might give some the wrong idea. I am going to simply tell you what is known about the original story of Christmas and you simply have to keep in mind that my whole knowledge is primarily drawn from the Bible.”  
After Phil had finished his segment about the story of Virgin Mary he tossed the white board aside. “That was a lot to understand. If you have any questions, feel free to send them in. Tomorrow while looking at your painting I can answer as many questions as possible.”   
Phil was exhausted after this episode, noticed he wasn’t crucially needed at work and made his way home. It was hard to explain yourself to children so that no one would take offence. It was really hard, and Phil honestly feared that he had failed. Failed miserably.   
At home Phil made himself some soup and sat down on a hard plastic chair in his small kitchen. While careful not to burn is tongue he thought about the day. It had been exhausting as ever but it had also been really nice somehow. Phil had spoken to Dan and he had found out that his name was in fact Dan. Dan Howell. It was a pretty name. A lot prettier than Phil Lester.   
Phil was very happy to have had the courage to speak to Dan. Now the only problem was that not a potential date was standing in Phil’s way but his own self. That was a hard blow. Because even if he could have had a chance it was never going to happen and that just because of who Phil was as a person. That mean – wait, it was not Phil’s fault after all! If there was a son there surely was a mother!   
Phil laughed when suddenly feeling something wet on his face. Brilliant now he was crying because it wasn’t because he was himself that he couldn’t get Dan but because Dan already had a proper family. Phil realised that he was smitten and that he most of all needed some sleep to clear his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this ever so slightly make up for the long wait. :)


	10. 10th December - Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A verry happy and merry second Advent to you all! I hope you enjoy! <3 :)

Dan’s POV

On coming home on Friday, Dan had needed a moment to comprehend everything he had just learned. He was working for Phil, essentially speaking. His favourite show had been filmed in his ultimate surroundings without him being aware of it. That was why the set had felt familiar, that was why the name: Bloomshill productions seemed familiar. Dan was a bad observer and stupid, the only reason he could give himself for the disaster of a conversation he had had with Phil.  
Dan woke up with the exact same feelings he had had when he fell asleep. He still cursed himself for being stupid. He must have seemed like a crazy fan to Phil! Not that Dan was in any position to deny that accusation, he simply had hoped he could camouflage his situation a little longer. But on being put on the spot like that he simply couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t want to lie to Phil and pretend he didn’t know who he was. Okay, that might have appeared a little weird, keeping in mind that the first thing Dan had said on seeing Phil sitting next to him had actually been a biography of Phil’s life. Dan groaned and swung his legs out of the bed.   
While having breakfast with his mother he was finally able to confess his working situation to her.   
“Why didn’t you check?”  
“You have no idea how often I have asked myself the exact same question.” Dan mumbled.   
“Do you want to leave?” his mother asked gently.  
“No!” Dan said quickly, a little too quickly. “I mean, I finally have a job and now on realising I have been stupid I think I shouldn’t leave it.”   
“I see.” His mother said and smiled knowingly.  
“You can stop that kind of smiling immediately. He is famous.” Dan mumbled while blushing furiously.   
“And you are adorable, so what?” his mother asked.   
“I am not going to be set up by you.” Dan groaned.  
“As far as I see things you have made the choice entirely by yourself.”   
“Thanks for rubbing that in. Mum, it will never be.” Dan said and attempted to stare her down.   
“You can stop that kind of looking immediately.” His mother said and raised an eyebrow.   
“I am sorry. I am a little all over the place. Let us just focus on the important part of this.” Dan said and added after seeing that his mother was not quite following: “Telling Frederick. I want him to know where I work and with, or rather for who but I don’t want him to be in any way intimidated.”  
“I see. Now you want me to talk to your son and prevent any kinds of high hopes or fears.”   
“If you could be so kind.” Dan said.  
“I certainly could.” His mother said and squeezed his hand. “Don’t give up by the way. Just a general friendly motherly advice. Never give up and don’t see yourself lower than you are. You are everything for Frederick and your very own parents. You have worth, you are valued. You deserve but the best in the world.”   
“Thanks.” Dan said and blushed.   
“You’re welcome and now off you pop.”   
“Aye, sir. Aehm. Madam.” Dan said and kissed his mother a quick goodbye onto her cheek.   
When Dan arrived at work he wondered once again how on earth he hadn’t noticed Phil before. Now he was seemingly wherever he looked. Dan could hear him laughing, could see him walking and notice him looking occasionally. It was a weird experience. Dan felt a little giddy inside whenever he saw Phil. He blamed it on Phil’s fame and pushed the thought of possible feelings quickly aside. Before falling asleep the night before he had made himself promise to look at Phil as neutrally as possible the next day. Dan had finally owned up to himself to having a slight crush on the “Goose to see you!”-Phil but as he knew that that was only a character he would take care not to develop any kinds of feelings for Call-me-Phil.   
After delivering the first bunch of hot beverages to his colleagues Dan was kept busy for a long time with delivering little pieces of paper from one end of the office to another. At some points he would have liked to shout that he “Wasn’t a freaking OWL!” but he just kept silent and delivered on, knowing that at least some of the papers were actually important.   
After he had finished quite a few of diverse tasks, Dan felt like it was time for another round of drinks. So he asked: “Any one coffee?” and started delivering it. With doing so he hoped to keep them busy for at least a short amount of time so that he could take his break.   
Dan was nearly done when he noticed that Phil was sitting on the same chair he had sat yesterday. Dan also had no way of avoiding Phil because he had already placed his bag onto the other chair so not going would mean that he couldn’t have his break. After taking a deep breath Dan went over to Phil. He could as well speak to him. Just because he happened to portray someone he wasn’t in real life didn’t mean he was a rotten liar in everyday life. He just happened to be in the show business, not his fault and looking cute was presumably not his fault either.   
“Hello.” Dan said awkwardly while sitting down.   
“Hey.” Phil replied and smiled broadly. Dan melted a little bit and quickly grabbed the armrests of his chair.   
“Don’t you have your own office?” Dan asked, rather bluntly.  
“I… Is this seat taken?” Phil asked.   
“No. It’s only. I have never seen you sit anywhere and work.” Dan tried to explain something he couldn’t even explain to himself.   
“You can be sure that I do work occasionally.”  
Oh great, he hates me. Dan thought. 

 

Phil’s POV 

Oh great, he hates me. Phil thought. It had been a mistake to come and sit on the crappy chairs every sane person avoided. The urge to speak to Dan had unfortunately been greater than Phil’s common sense so he was left in an awkward situation. It was quite obvious that Dan didn’t want Phil to be seated next to him, he wanted him to disappear quickly and Phil already contemplated whether he shouldn’t just stand up and go when Dan said: “No. It’s only. I have never seen you sit anywhere and work.”  
Phil smiled and in a desperate attempt to loosen up the tension answered: “You can be sure that I do work occasionally.”   
Dan’s smile was thin, and Phil once again thought about just standing up and going away but then he reasoned that doing that would leave Dan hate him even more than he was doing right now. It would be better to use the chance Phil had been so kindly presented with to calm things down.   
“Have you had any chance to watch the show yesterday?” Phil asked and hated himself for it. Why on earth would he ask anyone (!) if they had seen his show! That was not a decent thing to do and judging by the look on Dan’s face he judged so too.   
“I have. We liked it a great deal. It was a little harder than the others but Frederick is determined to learn everything you say.” Dan said and sounded a little bitter to Phil’s ears. Great. Apparently, Dan didn’t like his son liking Phil. That was a great condition to build a friendship on.   
“He sounds like a clever boy.” Phil said and smiled.  
“He is. Not taking after me at all.”   
“I wouldn’t say that.” Phil said and was happy that the ice finally appeared to have been broken.   
“Isn’t the fact that I am enjoying a children’s program better than any other program on the television evidence enough?” Dan asked and blushed. “No. I didn’t mean it to sound like that. It is not that I think your program to be unworthy of being liked and appreciated by a vast audience it is more like the fact that I, an at least somehow grown up man enjoy hearing things being explained to children better than watching actual, no, grown up educational shows. I am sorry.” Dan said and looked downcast.   
“No need to be.” Phil said and smiled reassuringly. He hadn’t taken offence, he hadn’t even thought of taking offence before Dan had explained himself.   
“I am sorry. I really am. I am trying to make it sound like we are not addicted to your show but all I manage to say is worse. Great so now I have actually told the truth as well. Great move, Dan. I am sorry.” Dan said, and Phil wanted nothing better than to hug him. “It must be weird for you to be confronted with me. I mean, everyone would be freaked out if I talked to them for longer than a second, so you are doing quite well. What I mean to say is that you must find it very weird to have a grown man telling you he loves your show. Children’s show that is, a bit like a paedophile, don’t you think?” Dan added before Phil had a chance to interfere.  
“Putting it like that maybe but you must remember that you have a young boy at home. So to answer your question: It is not at all weird for me. It is special actually, it is not often that I get to speak to parts of my audience. Okay. I do not want to sound so big-headed. I know myself that I entertain only a very small audience but that makes talking to people who watch and apparently like my show even more special. Don’t say sorry. Say: “You are welcome.”.” Phil said and smiled.   
“You don’t think I’m weird?” Dan asked.  
“Oh. I do think that but normalness leads to sadness.”  
“Embrace your weirdness.” Dan mumbled and it was Phil’s turn to blush.   
“What are you up to apart from watching my show?” Phil asked and hoped that Dan would realise he was only joking.   
“Not much. I mean I am working here and I am a full-time father. In a way that is much but you know… I only ever have father-y activities, which I love but I rarely do anything without Frederick, apart from work, which I am thankful for by the way.” Dan said.   
“What are you thankful for?” Phil enquired.  
“Well, my place of work but even more important not having to spend much time without Frederick. I think being a father might be the only thing I would consider myself being called for.”   
“I understand.” Phil said and was happy Dan wasn’t looking at him at that moment because the wistful look on Phil’s face would have surely confused him.   
“I love being a father.” Dan said. “I am sorry. This must be very boring to you. You work for children and now you have to listen to a pathetic creature talk to you about being a father in your free time.” Dan added in the next moment. Phil wanted to contradict but he was called into the set so this conversation ended right where their first one had ended too.   
“Have fun! I’ll judge you later!” Dan called and got up himself. Phil laughed but needed some time to convince himself that Dan was in fact joking and not being serious.   
Today’s episode was not hard to be prepared for. Phil was looking at pictures and answering sent in questions. He simply had to improvise with given material, a task Phil would say of himself as being able to master it.   
One question interested Phil in particular. A young girl had written to him (with the help of her mother) asking if he could eventually also try to explain Eid al-Fitr at a fitting time. The young girl wrote that she only understood that it was the end of an important month for another religion. Phil’s answer was positive, obviously. He was actually really thankful to have evidence for his message from the day before being treated in the right way. Out loud Phil said that he would be happy to help everyone understand different habits of different cultures and religions.   
Even though Saturday was still the easiest day of the week Phil was completely worn out when he arrived at home and was happy that he had to do nothing the next day. He was very happy how his second conversation with Dan had turned out but he concluded that he would have enough time to think about it on Sunday and that he should much rather sleep right now.


	11. 11th December - Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all have a great week! Enjoy! <3

Dan’s POV

Dan was woken up by someone trying to be really quiet while climbing over him. Okay, Frederick actually was really quiet but he could not distinguish between what was simply a blanket and what had Dan underneath. Dan stayed quiet and only quickly glanced over to a clock, it was merely eight o’clock, he could do well with some sleep.   
Just as he always did, Frederick climbed underneath the blanket and pressed himself into Dan. Dan squeezed him and they slept soundly on until about an hour later his mother suddenly screamed Dan’s name.   
“What is it?” Dan asked and sat up. Frederick sat up as well and immediately started crying.   
“Frederick is not in his bed!” his mother shrieked.   
“He is here! Everything is fine!” Dan called and quickly pulled Frederick onto his lap. “Everything is fine darling. Granny was a bit surprised to have you sleep with me.” Dan said and gently rocked Frederick around. While doing so he suddenly remembered how different it was to silence a toddler. Now Dan was able to reason with Frederick most of the time but then Frederick had screamed and would only ever stop when he was exhausted of screaming, and when Dan would sing on and on. Occasionally giving him food would work as well but there was always the risk that Frederick wasn’t in the mood for eating and would therefore simply vomit everything out onto Dan. Now, a little bit of rocking, gently talking and an occasional song would calm Frederick down and he was able to look at everything objectively. Okay. Not entirely and not always but Dan was immensely proud of Frederick seeing others as well and not only himself.   
“There you two are indeed.” Dan’s mum said as she walked into the room. “Should I make us some proper English breakfast?” she asked.   
“Sure, why not.” Dan said, squeezed Frederick one last time and stood up.   
“Are we going to feed the ducks?” Frederick asked while Dan was helping him to brush his teeth.  
“You remember my promise?” Dan asked and looked at him surprised.  
“I love ducks. Of course I remember.” Frederick said and gestured for Dan to pick him up so that he could spit out. The washbasin was a little too high for Frederick and he had once injured himself lightly with standing on a stool so they had arranged for Dan to pick him up whenever Frederick needed it.   
After putting on some clothes they went into the kitchen and had breakfast. Frederick discovered his love for baked beans and Dan allowed him to eat with his fingers as long as he would put the jumper off at first. Frederick obviously made a complete mess but Dan was not in the mood for telling him off. He was only in a certain degree playing with food anyways. He was eating all the beans with some bread and he was playing with the red sauce, not a crime in Dan’s eyes. He simply enjoyed looking at Frederick having fun.   
When they had finished eating and were all full, Dan took Frederick and put some new clothes on him and cleaned his face, arms and his feet (?) and his mother washed the dishes. Dan and Frederick were finished sooner so they went into the kitchen and helped range the clean dishes. Frederick loved doing that, perhaps mainly because most of the dishes went into cupboards hanging from the ceiling, which meant that he only ever had to tell Dan where to put them while sitting on the kitchen table and drinking orange juice. The three of them were soon finished. Dan’s mother went to gather up all her things and Dan and Frederick then went into the living room. Dan was about to select a book for them to read when his eyes suddenly fell onto Frederick’s advent calendar.   
“Frederick? You haven’t even opened one single door since we opened them together!” Dan called and pulled Frederick over to him to have a look.   
“I thought we only could do it together.” Frederick answered with tears in his eyes.   
“Did you wait for me to allow you to open the next door?” Dan asked. Frederick nodded and started crying silently. “You needn’t do that! This is your advent calendar. Each day you get to open one door. It’s a way for you to see how many days there are left until Christmas.” Dan explained gently.   
“Can I open them now?” Frederick asked and pulled up his nose.   
“First you get yourself a tissue and then you don’t ask.” Dan said and sent Frederick away with a little pat onto the bottom. Frederick soon came back with a smile on his face. The smile wavered a little when he looked at Dan. Dan pretended not to see him so Frederick bravely stepped over Dan’s legs and went to open the calendar.   
“Look! It’s a little parcel!” Frederick called and eagerly showed Dan the small chocolate. This procedure with Frederick opening the doors and then showing the contents to Dan went on without Frederick eating a single one of the chocolates.  
“Don’t you want to eat them?” Dan asked.   
“A few.” Frederick answered. “But I’m not hungry.” He added miserably.   
“We can keep them for later.” Dan answered. “First we go into the park and then we come back, and you will be hungry enough to eat them.”   
“Okay.” Frederick said and smiled. Dan got a small bowl from the kitchen and they went over to reading a book, like they had intended to do. After they had finished, Dan’s mother came back and together they played a game where you had to explain a word with doing a pantomime of it. Frederick was really good at this game, Dan was okay, he was a little distracted with laughing so much and his mother was surprisingly bad. She kept talking and accidentally doing a different thing than was on her card. She excused herself with not wearing her reading glasses. After a while Dan noticed that his mother was supposedly only trying to make Frederick laugh. And she was succeeding, Frederick was literally rolling on the floor laughing when she once again did a motion for throwing a Frisbee while saying: “Come on this is easy! I am something to eat! Come on!”   
They continued playing the game until they had to set out for the train station. Dan held Frederick’s hand and a bag of bread and his mother pulled a small suitcase behind her. They quickly reached the train station and said goodbye to Dan’s mother. It would be only in a few weeks that they would see each other again. His father had won a stupid price to go to India over Christmas so they would only see each other on New Year’s. For that they had already made plans, so being alone on Christmas wasn’t too bad. Particularly as Dan wouldn’t even be completely alone. He had already invited Carla and received an assurance that she would be there and there was of course always Frederick. Dan could never really be alone.   
After they had said their goodbyes to Dan’s mum, Dan and Frederick went to the little lake to feet ducks. They had a lot of fun even if Frederick usually only threw the bread vaguely into the direction of the ducks and then his behind Dan.   
“Look, Frederick. A squirrel.” Dan said. Frederick squealed and hid behind Dan. “Come on. Let’s give him some bread. He must be hungry. Remember? I told you they only tried to feed their families. He is a very kind parent presumably.” Dan said wondering how you could distinguish between a male and a female squirrel.   
“Okay.” Frederick said and slowly appeared from behind Dan.   
“There. You take a piece of bread and you hold it for him to grab it.” Dan said and urged Frederick forward. Frederick stared at the squirrel which slowly came forward took the bread and disappeared.   
“Squirrels are cute!” Frederick said and snuggled into Dan.   
“They are, aren’t they?” Dan said and picked Frederick up, slowly making his way vaguely back to their home.  
“Granny told me you worked with Phil.” Frederick said at one point. He kicked about with his feet and Dan placed him on the ground.   
“I do.” Dan said, anxious what may come now.   
“I hoped you would be friends.” Frederick said.  
“Pardon?” Dan asked.   
Frederick grabbed Dan’s hand and smiled up to him. “We like him but he is older than me so you have to be friends with him.” Frederick said. Dan decided not to argue with that logic and they peacefully made their way back home. All the time Dan thought if Frederick might be right. Were they friends? The conversation had started awkwardly but they had soon recovered. Being friends with your crush is not easy. Well that is, being friends with the person that portrays the one you have a crush on. Not easy at all.

 

Phil’s POV

Phil had always loved days where there was nothing urgent to do. That way he could be proud of almost anything he had done. Okay. Only spending time on the computer didn’t count but small activities like doing the laundry or tidying the room were already enough to make Phil feel like he had achieved a great deal that day.   
Today, after sleeping very long, Phil decided that he would finally put on some Christmas lights in his flat. There was no one else to see them than him but it might make home a little more agreeable to Phil. Okay, he didn’t really consider this place home. Home was where he had spent his childhood. Perhaps there might come another place he could consider home but this crappy small flat certainly wasn’t meant to be.   
Phil started with getting the old boxes out of a box underneath his bed. There was dust on there but Phil wasn’t really surprised at that. After all, the box had been in there for nearly a whole year. It might as well be dusty on top.   
After finding the box Phil sat down next to a socket and tried out the fairy lights. Two of his five chains of lights worked. He concluded that was enough. There were two other ones where you had to put batteries inside in order to make them work. None of them worked. Phil decided he had to go out and buy batteries before he could do anything else. While he was out he also got a few scented candles. He might get a headache from lighting them all at the same time but as long as he was careful a scented candle was absolutely necessary.   
When Phil got back home he lighted the first candle which was supposed to smell like marshmallows and put the batteries into the chains of lights. He then put one of the chains onto the window still in the living room, one over the fridge in the kitchen and one around the television in his bedroom. He put another one around the doorframe leading to his room to light up the small hallway.   
About an hour later Phil was happy with the result. He could have probably achieved everything in less time but untying the chains of lights had cost him a bit of time. He sat down on his bed with a cup of nearly cold coffee and took a deep breath. The candle really smelled like marshmallows! He noticed happily.   
Phil put the coffee aside. There was no use in trying to drink it now. He happily closed his eyes. It was weird how little it took him to be happy. He hadn’t even done much but he was happy with everything. There was only one thing missing to make Phil completely happy.   
Phil sat up bolt right. He had not just thought that, did he? He had not just imagined Dan lying next to him. He hadn’t, had he? Phil sank back into the pillows and groaned. Yes, he had. After warning himself repeatedly he had still dared to put Dan next to him. How could he? Dan was in a happy relationship. He had a child! Wishing someone out of such a situation was not at all like Phil. It was obvious that Dan was happy such as it was. There was no doubt he had found his place in life as a loving father.  
Phil groaned once more and closed his eyes. Immediately there were images of Dan flooding in. Dan had been very kind yesterday. He had shown mercy and had talked to Phil in his free time. Phil rubbed his eyes. He needed to do something against the mess in his head. He needed to be able to stand in front of Dan without letting him know what he felt inside. He had to secure the friendship they had already developed and couldn’t allow his idiotic, unrealistic, never to be answered feelings to ruin everything.   
After thinking about the problem for a while, Phil dozed off. He woke up soon afterwards after realising that he was hugging his blanket as if it was Dan. Phil jumped out of the bed and got himself a glass of water. These kinds of thoughts needed to stop. That was evident. Sadly, actually making them stop was a lot harder than realising they had to stop. There was no way he had misunderstood Dan. Phil told himself over and over again. He would simply have to hope that time would cure him from his present situation.   
With no spirit to do anything else that day Phil went back to bed put the television on and waited for time to pass.


	12. 12th December - Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a lovely day and enjoy this chapter! <3

Dan’s POV

Dan’s morning started quite calmly. He was still happy from the day he had had with Frederick on Sunday. Dan woke up and was angry at the alarm clock but was smiling once he began to wake up properly. The life he was leading at the moment was the best version of it he had ever had the pleasure to experience. Dan stretched and got out of the bed. In a way it was amazing to have a job to determine the procedure of his day. It was of course only bearable because Dan knew loving people took care of Frederick. That burden being lifted from Dan’s chest, he was happy to go to work.   
After washing and dressing, Dan grabbed his phone and checked if there were any new messages. Alarmed Dan saw that Carla had tried to call him, several times.   
“Carla?” Dan asked as she finally picked up.   
“Dan? Thank God! I have tried to call you. I can’t come over to yours today. In fact, I can’t come the whole week. Except for Tuesday, which will make it only three days that I’ll have to leave you hanging. I’ll be back on Friday. I am awfully sorry. They need me at work. I thought I could take the week off but apparently, I can’t. I am sorry. I’ll try to make up for it!”   
“Oh. Okay. No problem. Thanks for calling. I need to wake Frederick now.”  
“What will you do?”  
“I’ll take him to work with me.” Dan said and rubbed his eyes. “I haven’t told you yet but I’m working with Phil.”  
“The show guy?” Carla asked excitedly.  
“The very same!” Dan said. “He won’t object I hope.”   
“He surely won’t. I am sorry. I really am.”  
“Forget about it.” Dan said.   
“I’ll be there on Friday.” Carla said.  
“Thank you.” Dan said. “Gotta go!”  
“Bye! Cuddle that small Hobnob!” Carla said and ended the call. Dan threw his phone onto the bed. He sighed and rubbed his eyes once more. This day was going to be a very different kind of exhausting. Dan checked the time and hurried over to Frederick’s room nearly slipping on his way. They were nearly running late already, and Frederick wasn’t even awake yet.  
“Frederick! Wake up!” Dan said and gently pushed him back and forth. “Carla won’t be here today so you have to come with me to work.” Dan said and pushed on. Frederick finally opened his eyes. “Come on. We have to hurry but you get to eat a cake once we are there. At least a tiny slice.” Dan said and picked Frederick up.   
“Work?” Frederick asked sleepily.   
“Yes. I can carry you there but you need to change now.” Dan said and went into the bathroom and quickly went through their routine. Afterwards Frederick began to slowly wake up. He still didn’t understand the situation but he complied silently and didn’t make life harder for Dan. Dan quickly put a scarf around Frederick’s tiny neck, put him into his jacket and set off. Dan did carry him the whole way. Frederick could walk fast if he wanted to but Dan would not force him to do so first thing on a Monday morning. Besides like this Dan could make sure that Frederick would still be willing to be entertained once they reached Dan’s work place.   
Dan tried to regulate his breath while running up the stairs with Frederick in his arms and he needed to watch the steps so there was no way he could have seen there was someone standing in the way. The inevitable thing happened: Dan ran into the man held tied onto Frederick and squealed in surprise. “I am awfully sorry!”   
“That’s okay.” Dan looked up and saw Phil smiling down to him. He was standing one step higher than he was, shaking his soaking wet arm.   
“Oh dear. I am so sorry.” Dan said while gently rocking Frederick around. Frederick was still quite in shock. He wasn’t fully awake yet and seeing his dad apologize over and over again made him feel like he had done something wrong.   
“It’s okay, really. I shouldn’t drink too much coffee anyways.” Phil said and smiled. He looked a bit worried as he saw that tears started streaming down Frederick’s face.   
“Frederick. Look who it is. It’s Phil!” Dan said and gently wiped tears of Frederick’s face.   
“I am very happy to meet you.” Phil said and smiled brightly.   
“Hello.” Frederick said and sniffed.   
“Phil! Meeting is about to start!” someone called and made Dan jump a little.  
“I am sorry. We can speak later?” Phil asked and smiled insecurely.  
“Sure. Yes. Have fun.” Dan said and blushed. Phil smiled widely and rushed inside. Dan hated himself for blushing. Why was he blushing? Hadn’t he concluded it would be best (for his feelings) to simply be friends and nothing more? A lying friend was hard enough to bear, he couldn’t think what it would do to him to have a lying partner. Dan blushed again and quickly followed Phil inside, not thinking about the whole matter would be a great start.   
“There we are Frederick.” Dan said and put Frederick down. He then helped him out of his jacket and scarf. “Do you want me to show you everything?” Dan asked. Only now he began to realise that only bringing Frederick to work did not yet secure that Frederick was actually looked after properly. He decided to work slowly today so that Frederick could follow him everywhere. He knew Frederick to never make a mess anywhere and behave very well for such a young child, so he decided that instead of worrying too much he could as well be calm and wait for things to happen.   
After walking around the set of rooms once Dan finished with showing Frederick the set. There was a small window where one could look through, so Dan picked Frederick up and let him experience seeing something he loved on television in real life.   
“You work here?” Frederick whispered in awe.  
“I do but you will see that I have a lot to do and not only nice things.” Dan said and put Frederick down again. He then took his hand and walked with him to the coffee machine. “Firstly, I will bring the people their favourite drink.”   
“Why do you do that?” Frederick asked. Dan picked him up and sat him onto the counter next to the machine.   
“Because it makes them happy.” Dan said and smiled. “I am here to help them out as well as I can because they are all working really hard. When I bring them a nice drink, they have more energy to do things.” Dan explained. He was happy with himself. Simply saying he was a dogsbody would surely not have the same effect on Frederick as telling him this story, had. Dan couldn’t bear to let his son think he was doing a lousy job both in what it included and how Dan did it.   
“Can I help?” Frederick asked.  
“Why?”  
“Because I want to make you happy!” Frederick said and smiled.  
“You can come with me and help me deliver the drinks.” Dan said quickly and turned around to hide his teary eyes.   
It was quite a long process to deliver all the drinks to the different people but as they didn’t mind waiting longer when Frederick so charmingly spoke to them, no problems occurred. After finishing the first round, Dan sat Frederick down on one of the chairs. “You do not have to stay here. You can walk around if you want to. Just be careful not to disturb anyone. I will be back every now and then.” Dan said and tousled his hair.  
Every now and then, Dan could hear Frederick talking to people. He was as quiet and calm as possible which was supposedly not easy as Frederick also loved jumping and running around while loudly singing or laughing.   
Dan had finished his round of doing all the urgent things the people wanted him to do and was already looking forward to spend some time with Frederick, when he saw that he was not sitting on the chair, nor could he see him anywhere else. Dan already began to sweat slightly. 

 

Phil’s POV

The universe wanted to torture him. It certainly did. What else could this business be about? Why should Phil happen to run into Dan, holding his son before actually going to work and before he had fully prepared himself to see Dan again? It was pure torture. While seeing Dan alone already made Phil’s knees weak, seeing him with his son on his arms made Phil loose balance entirely. Frederick looked a lot like Dan. He had soft brown curls and an equally nice little snub nose. Frederick wasn’t smiling when he saw Phil which made him think that Dan had lied about Frederick liking him. But after he had presented himself a small smile appeared on Frederick’s face.   
Phil had desperately wanted to keep talking to the two of them but he was called inside. Phil had asked a little uneasy if they would see each other later. Well, they would obviously see each other but he wanted to talk to them both again and not just pass them in the office. Phil had delightedly heard Dan say yes and vanished into the building.   
After the meeting, Phil once again only ever remembered what he himself had talked about. This was bad but you surely couldn’t expect anything else from Phil in that moment. He was busy not thinking about Dan and Frederick. Not thinking about what it would be like to have them welcome him home every day. Not thinking about what it would be like to hold Frederick himself as a parent. He was not thinking any of the things. No, he wasn’t. Phil blushed repeatedly and really tried to think about something else. The weirdness of the situation didn’t help him one bit. It was not only that he had a serious crush on Dan, he also had a crush on the idea of forming a family with Dan. That was weird. Weird, unhealthy and bad. Dan and more importantly Frederick, they already had a family, they didn’t need Phil to complicate their lives.   
Phil worked as hard as possible after the meeting was over. He needed to prepare his show and only with forcing himself to work diligently, he was able to ban certain thoughts from his mind. Phil was happy with his result of hard work. If he would be able to stay concentrated during the show it should flow easily. Just as Phil was writing key aspects he didn’t want to forget onto Post-it notes someone carefully said is name. Phil looked up and saw Frederick standing in the door.   
“Come in.” Phil said friendly and put the pen down. Frederick hesitated. Phil slid of his chair and sat down onto the floor beckoning him over. Frederick smiled and sat down in front of Phil.   
“I am sorry.” Frederick said.  
“Why are you sorry?” Phil asked gently.   
“That we spilled your coffee.” Frederick answered.  
“My coffee? Oh. This morning? That is nothing to be sorry for!”  
“But dad said that favourite drinks make people happy and they work happily too. I don’t want to be the reason why you couldn’t work today.” Frederick said miserably. Phil smiled. In a way Frederick had been the reason why he hadn’t been able to work but there was no way admitting that to any other living soul.   
“Your dad is right. Favourite drinks make people happy but I didn’t need that today. Meeting you two made me far happier than any drink could have done.” Phil said.   
“You don’t hate me?” Frederick asked.  
“Quite the contrary.” Phil said calmly. “Thank you for being so brave to come to me.”   
“Oh. I wasn’t scared. After the park nothing could scare me.” Frederick said. Phil laughed. It wasn’t good but he was already growing pretty attached to this little guy.   
“The park?” he asked.   
“Yes. My whole life I had been scared of squirrels because they attacked you but together with my dad I fed one! They are very cute! They only want to collect food for their families, dad says.” Frederick explained.  
“Your dad is really clever.” Phil said smiling affectionately.  
“He is. Perhaps he can help you feed a squirrel too then you wouldn’t have to be afraid any longer.” Frederick said excitedly.  
“Frederick! There you are!” Dan called. Phil looked up and saw a worried looking Dan smiling at seeing them.   
“I told Phil of us feeding the squirrels!” Frederick said excitedly. Phil looked up apologetically to Dan, whose smile wavered a tiny bit.   
“Did you. Was he impressed?” Dan asked challenging.   
“I was! You are very brave, Frederick.” Phil said.   
Frederick suddenly fell around Phil’s neck. “You can be brave too!” Frederick said. Phil laughed and stood up ending up with Frederick on his arms. Phil loved holding him and it felt absolutely right, which was absolutely wrong. He gave him a tiny squeeze and then handed him over to Dan who was smiling at Phil.   
“Do you want to come with us and have a break, or do you need to work?” Dan asked and pretended he wasn’t blushing.   
“With pleasure.” Phil said. “I mean. I would like to come with you two.” Phil added and was now the one pretending not to be blushing. Dan placed Frederick onto the ground and they went over to the two chairs. Dan and Phil sat down, and Dan pulled Frederick onto his lap.   
“What is today’s show about?” Dan asked Phil.  
“Don’t tell!” Frederick said suddenly and covered his ears. “I want to watch it later.” He said.   
“I am not going to give anything away then.” Phil answered. “How do you like it here Frederick?” Phil asked.  
“It’s magical!” Frederick whispered.   
“Is it?” Dan asked and raised an eyebrow.   
“It is. Not as good as home but it’s very interesting.” Frederick explained.   
“Sorry there is no one at home today.” Dan said.   
“I’m sure we don’t mind.” Phil said quickly. First of all, he wanted to make Dan smile again and then he also selfishly did not want to hear anything about Dan’s wife. Dan did smile at this and Phil smiled back. Phil quickly checked the time.  
“Oh man. They told me we’d be recording in five minutes.” Phil said.  
“What does recording mean?” Frederick asked and stared at Phil.  
“It means I will be filmed with a camera doing the show. We do it now so that all the not so good parts can be cut out. The ones where I make a mistake or start laughing.” Phil explained.   
“You sometimes make mistakes on Sundays.” Frederick said and frowned.  
“Yes. All the parts that are cut out of the normal episodes are put into one episode for Sundays.” Phil said and felt a little uneasy. He really didn’t want anyone as pure and good as Frederick to know about his mistakes. He knew he was being foolish. Frederick was only a boy but he still would have liked to impress him in some way.   
“I love the Sunday episodes. And the crafting. And the baking. And the learning.” Frederick said eagerly.  
“Just say we love everything.” Dan said and smiled fondly down to Frederick which gave Phil a bit of time to recover; how could Dan say something like that and expect it not to have any effect on Phil?   
“Phil!” Phil was called away and smiled apologetically. He did not see either of them later that day, they probably left as early as possible to be at their magical home again, probably welcomed by their mother/wife. Life wasn’t fair, Phil thought while smiling widely as he thought about speaking to Dan and Frederick. Life really wasn’t fair. Phil sighed.


	13. 13th December - Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! <3 Enjoy, you lovely people! :)

Dan’s POV 

Dan woke up before his alarm clock made any sound, with a smile on his face. Once he realised what he was doing the smile fell off and was replaced by a frown. What was he doing? Why was he smiling? Why so early in the morning? Dan closed his eyes once more. Suddenly an image of Phil popped up in his mind. Well, it was more like his voice. Dan couldn’t see much but he somehow knew that Phil was lying next to him in bed.  
“Didn’t I tell you to wake up?” Phil whispered, and Dan felt him kiss his cheek. Dan’s eyes sprang open but there was obviously no Phil next to him. Dan put the alarm clock out, before it could disturb anyone and made his way out of his room. He needed to leave the place where he had these forbidden dreams. Why on earth was Dan dreaming about Phil? Okay, that was an easy one to answer. Phil was someone you simply had to dream about. At times Dan was actually surprised that Phil existed in real life and he hadn’t simply made him up in his dreams. The real and pressing question however was why Dan was dreaming about him in this fashion. There had already been dreams when Dan hadn’t known Phil in real life, where he would dream about seeing him. These dreams had always been really proper and nothing happened in them. This dream however, this was different. Just now, when Dan had forced himself to open his eyes he had felt the wish of everything happening in real life. Dan had worked really hard, or so he had told himself, to prevent himself from having a crush and while he was so busy doing that he hadn’t noticed that he had actually fallen for Phil. Dan sighed and stared at himself in the mirror. He started laughing. Dan was in love with Phil. Of course, he had chosen someone that he could never ever even come close to holding their hand. This was a typical Dan move. Why settle on someone he could, with a little difficulty, but nothing more (!) persuade that he wasn’t the train wreck one thought him to be at first. No, Dan had chosen the only one that could make him truly sad. Normally you would first of all say the one that could make him happy but Dan thought to know that that would never be the case. Dan had not the slightest chance with Phil. That was the first aspect to make him sad and the second one was: the Phil he knew was not someone to be trusted. Phil was not evil but he was telling stories and Dan couldn’t live with someone that was telling lies. Only yesterday when Frederick had spoken to him about squirrels, Phil had looked at Dan in a way that said: I am sorry that I lied on the television and that Frederick believes me. Being sorry was the first step in the right direction, but being sorry without changing anything and continuing to tell lies was not the ultimate solution. Dan simply couldn’t live with someone that repeatedly told lies. Well okay, as it was Phil he was talking about he, he probably would anyways but as Dan would never have to make a decision in that field he could as well stop thinking about Phil.  
This brilliant resolution lasted about five minutes. Dan was quietly checking on Frederick then. Immediately being send back to images of Phil holding Frederick. It had looked far too good for any of their sakes. Frederick had looked happy, Phil delighted and the look of love on Dan’s face could go without describing in too much detail.   
Dan groaned. Phil would never have him, even if Dan could begin to trust him. That would have been a good point to focus on if his mind hadn’t decided to play tricks on him the second he closed his eyes. Dan knew that it wasn’t Phil that spoke to him but it would be so nice…  
No, Dan had to stop doing this. There was no use in fantasising, especially when he had to face Phil later that day, preferably without dying of shame and embarrassment.   
Dan was rather tense when the doorbell rang. He went to open it and shortly welcomed Carla. “Whatever is the matter?” Carla asked while getting out of her coat. Dan shrugged and then fell around her neck, having difficulties not to cry. “There, there. I’ll make us some nice hot tea and you tell me everything. If you are not feeling better, I will not allow you to go to work!” Carla said and pulled Dan into the kitchen. “So tell me.” She said and stared him down. They were now sitting on one sofa in the living room. Dan stared into his tea and hoped he could delete all thoughts about Phil so that he wouldn’t have to tell Carla.   
“It’s Phil.” Dan said quietly.   
“Has he done something?” Carla immediately asked.  
“Not what you think.”   
“So you don’t have a crush.”  
“Okay, perhaps exactly what you think.” Dan said quietly. “Actually, I don’t think he meant to make me have a crush on him.”  
“I think so too. Phil is not the kind of guy to do that.” Carla nodded.  
“You don’t even know him!” Dan groaned.  
“I do. You know you make me watch the show whenever you can.”  
“Just so that we can discuss it together. Besides, Phil is not like that in real life.” Dan said and really wanted to believe what he was saying.  
“That can’t be true.” Carla stated.   
“Well. It is. I mean it’s obvious that at least half of his stories are made up.”  
“Has he told you so.”   
“Not directly.”  
“Well, if I were you I would simply wait until it is done directly and otherwise focus on the nice parts of this situation.”  
“And what on earth do you mean by that?” Dan asked.  
“You get to work with the person you have a crush on.”  
“You think that is a good part? You wouldn’t believe what torture I went through yesterday, seeing Phil with Frederick.” Dan groaned. “He is even cuter in real life.” He whispered.   
“How about you focus on that?” Carla asked with a big smile.  
“I think I am already but that’s bad.” Dan mumbled.  
“Why is it bad?” Carla asked patiently.   
“First of all, I know deep down that I could never trust anyone like that again and well secondly it is quite plain that Phil would never have me.”   
“Yeah. Right.” Carla said and raised an eyebrow. “Dan, you are talking absolute garbage! Get a grip! Everyone in their right mind would die to get to ‘have’ you and Frederick.”   
“You look rather alive to me.” Dan said mockingly.   
“I am Frederick’s adopted aunt, don’t be disgusting.” Carla said and laughed heartily.   
“What do you propose I do then?” Dan asked.   
“Okay. Let me be frank with you. I think it would do you no harm to start believing that Phil might as well ‘have’ you. Don’t get too far in though, if the universe happens to be against the match you might be a little disappointed. Just concentrate on getting to know Phil and ask yourself if you can imagine being with him. You are the important one here, okay?” Carla asked. Dan nodded, mumbled something about having to go, got up and left. He did not want to let Carla know yet how wrong she was. Dan was already far too deep in to possibly rescue himself. He was also already as certain as he could get to being able to imagine himself with Phil. The only advice Dan could follow was to get to know Phil and if the universe wouldn’t prevent that was what Dan was going to do today.   
Dan had also made up his mind to be neutral so that he could learn actual facts about Phil. Problem was that on seeing Phil smile at him Dan couldn’t stop his heart from beating faster. He would still give his best to hide his feelings. 

 

Phil’s POV

Phil had a hard time trying to persuade himself that he had to accept Dan having a proper family and to concentrate on being friends with him. Phil’s heart simply didn’t want to accept the truth and constantly quickened its beat when Phil thought about Dan, especially when he thought about Frederick and Dan. It was too easy to imagine himself as the missing jigsaw puzzle piece completing the almost perfect picture of Dan and Frederick.   
This needed to stop. Immediately. Phil was perhaps second away from seeing Dan again, he couldn’t think about things like that!   
Phil repeated “Stop!” in his head over and over again. It was of no use. The second he saw Dan coming through the door with red cheeks from walking through the cold air, he wanted to go over there and kiss him. Phil did the next best thing and smiled brightly at Dan. Dan returned the smile and Phil knew that he would have a hard time hiding the fact that he had stars in his eyes.   
“Good morning.” Phil said as Dan approached him.   
“Morning.” Dan answered.  
“I see you didn’t bring Frederick today?” Phil asked, resisting the urge to help Dan out of his jacket. Not touching him was very hard. Very hard indeed.  
“No. Carla doesn’t have to work today. She takes care of him.” Dan said and smiled. Phil felt the smile on his face being replaced by a grimace.   
“That’s kind.” Phil answered. Of course it’s kind! She was the mother for heaven’s sake!  
“It is. I miss him already though.” Dan said and laughed. Phil huffed out a laugh as well and couldn’t have been happier to be called to the meeting.  
“See you later.” He said and hurried away. However, if Phil had expected the fluttery feeling in his stomach which appeared first on seeing Dan coming through the door, if he expected that feeling to disappear, he was wrong. His heart kept beating uncommonly fast. No matter how loud he screamed inside his mind that Dan’s WIFE was called CARLA, the feeling stayed.   
Throughout the meeting Phil desperately tried to lock the feelings he had for Dan firmly away, so that they couldn’t disturb him over the day. He didn’t succeed. One could say that the feelings were too strong to be tamed but that would show just how much Phil was gone and he couldn’t bear the thought.   
In the end, Phil decided to not give Dan the chance to riddle Phil’s feelings out. He would however still try to understand Dan. He really wanted to be friends with him. That was mainly due to the fact that he couldn’t possibly imagine himself loosing Dan or Frederick. He wanted to be valued by them. He wanted the allowance to enter their lives. Phil would perhaps have to learn to hide his feelings a little better once Carla got involved but for now he looked at his plan as if it was waterproof.   
After Phil had worked on today’s show meticulously, he decided he needed a break. There were quite a few minutes left until he would be called into the set and he really hoped that Dan had decided to take his break at the same time. It turned out that he did.   
“Is this seat taken?” Phil asked and smiled down to Dan.   
“Have you ever seen it taken? This is a crappy place to pass one’s break.” Dan answered.   
“I like it.”  
“So do I.” Dan said and blushed.   
“Also, I am used to crappy chairs. My home is full of it.” Phil said and laughed.  
“Really? I thought you had a really expensive television-star home.” Dan said and looked genuinely surprised.  
“Did you?” Phil asked and laughed. “No. It’s a crappy place really, Frederick would hardly describe it as anything magical, even if I cheat with fairy lights.” Phil said and would have very much liked to punch himself into the face. Why on earth did he start speaking of Frederick out of the blue? It would not take a genius to riddle out that Phil was head over heels in love with Dan.   
“Fairy lights? You already have Frederick’s approval.” Dan said and laughed. “I miss him.” He added and sighed. “I know it’s stupid. He is happy at home but I would like to have him with me every second of the day.”   
“I don’t think it’s stupid. I think I even understand you.” Phil said and smiled.  
“Good for you because I have to take Frederick with me to work tomorrow. Carla has to work and there is no one to look after him.”   
“Is it bad that I’m happy about that?” Phil asked. Of course it’s bad. “I mean I would have a little something to do for Frederick tomorrow.” Phil explained.   
“Really? He would be thrilled.” Dan said excitedly.   
“I don’t want to take him from you but if you would be alright with him joining me for something crafty on the show, I would have something to occupy him.” Phil said and smiled.   
“On the show? That would be a dream come true for him! He will be happy to finally work with someone who knows what he does.” Dan said and laughed.  
“In contrast to you?” Phil asked and raised both eyebrows.  
“Yes. I have attempted to do your crafts back home but neither of us was ever really satisfied.” Dan explained.  
“You are lying. I know you are. To make me feel better about the mess I make each time I work on something. That is very kind but I won’t fall for it.” Phil said.   
“Believe whatever you choose to.” Dan said and pretended to be miffed. That was a rude move in Phil’s eyes because seeing Dan pouting left Phil with the uttermost temptation to kiss him.   
“I will.” Phil said a little too breathy to be funny.  
“What are you going to do tomorrow on your show then?” Dan asked curiously.   
“Nothing too dangerous. You don’t have to be afraid with putting Frederick under my care.” Phil assured Dan.  
“As if I could ever be scared under that circumstance.” Dan said. Phil stared at Dan, he was joking, wasn’t he? He surely was. As if anyone sane could happily trust Phil with their child.   
Before Phil could interrogate further into the matter, he was called away. “Tell Frederick I said hello and that I am looking forward to tomorrow!” Phil said hurriedly.   
“I will. He’ll be thrilled!” Dan repeated.   
Phil was fine with his performance. He had started speaking about different customs to do with Christmas. While preparing his show earlier that day he had noticed that talking about the original Christmas story, as in the story about Jesus’ birth, today would already bring it close to its end and as it was merely the 13th of December Phil decided to wait a bit with continuing with the story. Phil also knew that suddenly talking about a completely different thing would confuse a few of his viewers so he decided to change the set a bit so that the difference could be made out in language but also in seeing. He hadn’t made any huge changes to the set. He had replaced the wooden scene of Jesus’ birth which he had also used to explain parts of the story with, next to his drawing with a tiny Christmas tree and tiny presents. The goose was also sitting in that assembly. It looked ridiculous but Phil loved it.   
Phil went home without seeing Dan another time but in anticipation to see Dan and Frederick the next day. The thought made him happy enough to not crash down whenever he remembered that there was a Carla in both of their lives.


	14. 14th December - Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy today's chapter! I hope you're all doing great! <3

Dan’s POV

Dan had had a great time telling Frederick that not only would he come with him to work the next day but also that he would help Phil with something on the show. Frederick was, just like Dan had predicted, thrilled.   
“I will work with Phil?” Frederick had asked excitedly. “I love Phil.” Frederick had called out and hugged Dan. Dan had accepted that Frederick thought this was his doing and covered him in kisses.   
“We all love him.” Dan had answered before nearly biting through his tongue. It had meant nothing to Frederick but Carla had shot him an annoyingly knowing glance. Dan had poked out his tongue to her and concentrated on not revealing anything afterwards.  
The next morning Dan was still not thrilled about Carla knowing about his situation but he also knew there was nothing to change about it. Pretending it had been a joke wouldn’t work with Carla. Carla was too clever for that!   
“Come on, Frederick! Let’s go to work!” Dan said after dressing completely. This time he was a little earlier than he had been on Monday. Frederick slowly opened his eyes. He was still sleepy but Dan soon noticed that he was incredibly excited as well.   
“Are we late?” Frederick asked.  
“No, we are not. We can even stop to buy a waffle on the way. Not the classic breakfast but a little treat for you.” Dan said and lifted Frederick out of his bed. They were soon finished with dressing Frederick and set out. Dan did buy Frederick a waffle. He ate a small corner as well but he couldn’t eat much. His stomach was one huge knot. Dan hated to think that Phil had so much power over him.   
When they arrived at Dan’s workplace, Frederick had a small breakdown on not seeing Phil immediately. He was staring into the distance without making a sound so Dan sat him down on the counter and quickly delivered the coffee. While he took care of his first tasks Dan saw that Frederick was feeling really bad. He stopped and sat him down on one of the chairs. He kneeled in front of him.  
“What is it, darling?” he asked kindly.   
“Phil is not here.” Frederick sniffed and started crying. Dan tried his best to prevent a proper meltdown. He rubbed circles on Frederick’s knees and smiled encouragingly.   
“Phil is only busy at the moment. He will come to us.” Dan assured Frederick.   
“He doesn’t want to work with me.” Frederick said, and tears started streaming down his face. Dan quickly wiped them away.  
“Of course he does. Phil likes you very much. He couldn’t do today’s show without you. He will be here soon.” Dan said quickly.  
“Phil likes me?” Frederick asked through his tears.  
“Of course he does!” Dan said.   
“I like him too.” Frederick said with a smile.   
“That’s good.” Dan answered.   
“Not as much as I like you! But he comes second.” Frederick said quickly. “And then there are Carl and Granny and grandpa.” Frederick said slowly. “No. I can’t order them. I love everyone. But I love you best.” Frederick concluded.  
“Thank you. I think Phil would be thrilled to hear that.” Dan said.  
“He would indeed.” Phil said. Dan spun around and blushed. “Hello Frederick!” Phil said with a big smile. Dan was a little disappointed that Phil didn’t look at him but reasoned quickly that Frederick was far more important right now.   
“Hello!” Frederick sniffed. “I like you.” He mumbled.   
“Why thank you. I like you too.” Phil said and sat down on the chair next to him, which made Dan kneel awkwardly in front of them both. “Are you excited what we will do later?” Phil asked.   
“Yes.” Frederick said and swiped the snot of his face with the back of his hand. Dan got a tissue out and made him blow his nose. He then picked him up and sat down with him on his lap. “Will dad come too?” Frederick asked.  
“No, darling. I have to work.” Dan said.   
“I hoped you would take care that everything is done properly.” Phil said with a small smile. “He won’t take part in crafting but he will check that we make no mistakes.” Phil explained to Frederick.  
“Okay.” Frederick said. Dan stared a little at Phil. How did he manage to explain it so well to Frederick? Okay, this was perhaps not the hardest task any human had ever done, but still. Dan had not known how to address the topic and Phil had. Of course, Dan would trust someone to take care of Frederick if said someone could better deal with children than himself.   
“Dan? Can I kidnap you two for a second? The male producer, well Edward wants to see who he is letting onto the show.” Phil explained.  
“Sure.” Dan said and picked Frederick up. He followed Phil and soon stood in front of Edward. “This is Frederick.” Dan said and smiled.   
“Hello.” Frederick himself said.  
“Hello. Nice to meet you. You are going to help Phil today, aren’t you?” Edward asked.   
“Yes.” Frederick said and smiled up to Phil. Dan’s heart beat faster and was on the verge of exploding when Phil gently stroked Frederick’s cheek with his index finger.   
“I suggest you two start working. If we need more takes we will have enough time to cut it all.” Edward said.   
“Okay.” Phil said and the three of them left. Once they reached the set, Dan put Frederick down. Seeing Frederick’s big eyes at seeing everything in real life, Dan did not fear that he would break something.   
“Look dad! The goose! We love the goose!” Frederick said and starred at the little Christmas scene. Dan came closer, so did Phil. They stood close while watching Frederick. Close enough for Dan to feel the warmth coming from Phil.   
“Okay. I’ll let you two work. I’ll be right there.” Dan said, a bit overwhelmed. He left the room and stood in front of the window. He could not hear any words that were exchanged but he was clever enough to conclude from both of their smiles that they had a great time. Phil probably only had a great time because Dan wasn’t there to spoil everything. And Frederick probably only had a great time because he could finally craft something with someone a little more talented than Dan. Dan was about to turn away and let them do their thing in peace when Frederick looked over to him and waved widely. Dan instantly started smiling and waved back. It was a bad habit to always think of people thinking poorly of him, but Dan couldn’t change it. Luckily, Frederick’s smile temporarily made him forget what was bothering him. Dan could enjoy seeing the two people he loved most working together. Dan huffed as he realised what he had just thought. The two people in there really were the ones he loved most, even if he only knew Phil personally for a few days, he already loved him. It was no longer a simple crush, it was something that felt, out of all the different feelings Dan had ever experienced, the most like love.   
There were tears forming in Dan’s eyes when he saw Phil gently guiding Frederick’s arms. They were making candles together and Phil was extra careful not to let Frederick hurt himself, Dan could see as much.   
When they had finished, Phil waved Dan back inside. Dan immediately stumbled inside taking care to take a few deep breaths to not let his voice tremble.   
“Well done!” Dan said and crouched down in front of Frederick.   
“We made candles!” Frederick said excitedly. “This one is for you!” Frederick said and pointed to a heart shaped one.  
“Thank you!” Dan said and smiled widely.  
“I burnt my fingers!” Frederick said proudly.   
“Have you?” Dan asked and playfully raised his eyebrows at Phil who shrugged apologetically.   
“Yes.” Frederick said. Dan gently took his hand pressed kisses onto the fingertips. “Phil’s fingers are even worse! You have to kiss them too!” Frederick said.  
Dan felt himself blush. Would he really do this? Right now? 

 

Phil’s POV

Phil had the best day ever. After the meeting was over, in which he had explained that he would work with their employee’s child on the show today, he immediately went over to Dan and Frederick. They both seemed happy enough to see him. Frederick told Phil that he liked him, which made Phil’s day. It was in a very pure way and conveyed a much deeper meaning than simply to like someone.   
After speaking a little bit to Dan and Frederick, Phil took them to Edward. Dan introduced Frederick and Edward seemed satisfied enough to send them to work. Dan carried Frederick the whole way and the sight was once again nearly too much for Phil. On set, Frederick eagerly mustered every small detail. Dan observed him happily and so did Phil. It was a relief to see Frederick actually as happy as Dan had told him he would be.   
“Look dad! The goose! We love the goose!” Frederick said. Dan and Phil went over to him, accidentally standing very close. Phil had to pretend not to be able to use his right hand because otherwise he would have surely grabbed Dan’s hand. Dan surely meant to torture him with standing so close. It wasn’t fair but then again Phil wouldn’t have had it any other way.   
“Okay. I’ll let you two work. I’ll be right there.” Dan said and pointed over to the window. He rushed out of the room.   
“Are you ready?” Phil asked Frederick.   
“Yes.”  
“Okay. Come over. I will sit down over here and you can sit in this chair. Like this we will both be able to work on this surface. If you have any questions just ask don’t be afraid. We can always cut everything out.”   
“Okay. Do you want me to be quiet?” Frederick asked shyly.  
“I want you to forget the cameras.” Phil said. He handed Frederick the goose puppet and they started filming. Every now and then Frederick would wave over to Dan. Dan would wave back and smile brightly which made Phil loose his track slightly.   
Phil and Frederick made candles. Doing that consisted out of having wicks, melting wax and carefully pouring the different coloured wax into different moulds. For moulds, they used a few cookie cutters and toilet rolls. For those Phil had already had some prepared in advance. He really didn’t want to test Frederick’s patience so he would only give instructions and advice about what else could be done.   
They finished relatively early and Phil was very proud of Frederick. Dan came into the room and talked to Frederick. Phil played a little too much attention to Dan’s face and too little to what he was saying. He saw Dan gently kissing Frederick’s fingertips and was startled when he heard Frederick say: “Phil’s fingers are even worse! You have to kiss them too!”  
Phil blushed and looked onto his fingers. A few of them were certainly red. He was about to decline the “offer” when Dan gently took his hands. Dan briefly looked into Phil’s eyes and then pressed a quick kiss on every single finger. Phil stared at him with a wide smile. His fingertips felt even more like they were on fire now than they had done previously but he was wise enough not to say anything about it.   
“Thanks.” Phil mumbled and got up. He lifted Frederick out of his chair. “You were brilliant!” he said while still holding him. Frederick laughed, and Phil put him down. “I have to go and continue working now.” Phil said apologetically.   
“I probably should work too.” Dan said. “I’ll let Frederick run free if that’s okay.”   
“Sure.” Phil said and smiled brightly.   
Back in his small office Phil let out a long sigh. Dan and Frederick tried to kill him with their cuteness. Phil’s fingertips were still tingly from Dan’s little kisses and it took Phil some good minutes to be able to focus on something else than Dan’s lips. Still on quite a high from working with Frederick and talking to Dan, Phil decided to write his column for the paper. The last ones he had sent in had been not his proudest but he felt like he could write a good one today. He started typing immediately. He decided to write about portraying and sharing your affection. It was a little risky to write about it as everyone would notice that he was in love but as no one really knew Phil and no one that liked that newspaper talked to Phil it was not a gigantic risk Phil was taking.   
One of the part of Phil’s column read: “Children are most likely of all the age groups to honestly portray what they are feeling. They will cry when they feel uneasy or when they are hurt, and they will laugh when they are happy or want to show their support. A few of you might say that children’s minds do not go that deep but I like to think that whatever little things they do, they do consciously. They can sense when we need a hug from them, they instinctively grab our hand when we need it most. Personally, I think it’s important that we show our children that we appreciate their little things. Everyone already does that to a certain degree without noticing: in form of smiles. How about we return that little squeeze they gift us with to show them we think alike? How about we show different kinds of things you can do when we are happy? Children always imitate so how about we shower our partner with affection, kiss their fingertips for instance. Generally showing kindness to others will make your children embrace their natural kindness.”  
Phil knew he was writing nice enough things to make his readers smile but he also knew that he did not really have a point to anything. He really hoped the editors would let it pass anyways. He was too exhausted to change anything about his writing now. Phil sent the column away and closed the computer. He gathered himself as best as he could and walked out of the office. The first thing he saw was Frederick. He was sitting, or rather lying on one of the uncomfortable chairs.   
“Hey there.” Phil said quietly as he kneeled down in front of Frederick. Frederick’s eyes fluttered open and he looked at Phil tiredly. “Are you alright?” Phil asked carefully.   
“I’m cold.” Frederick said after thinking about Phil’s question. Phil stood up and quickly got his jacket out of his small office.   
“There you go.” He said and wrapped Frederick in his jacket.   
“Thank you.” Frederick said and yawned.   
“You can sit here on your own for a bit, right? I am going to get your father.” Phil said and stood up again. Frederick’s eyes closed and he nodded vaguely. Phil quickly turned around and looked for Dan. He found him leaning over several different sheets of paper, trying his best to organize them in some way.   
Phil cleared his throat. “Dan?”   
Dan spun around and smiled brightly at Phil. “Yes?”  
“It’s Frederick. I think he might have a cold? I wrapped him in my jacket for now but I think it would be best if you take him home. I’m sorry not to have thought of the draught.” Phil said quickly.  
“No, thank you. It’s my fault.” Dan said. He looked a little white. He walked past Phil and hurried towards Frederick. He kneeled down and felt Frederick’s forehead. “I think it would be best to take him home.” Dan agreed. “Can I…” he started and blushed.  
“Keep him wrapped up. I have a second jacket in my office.” Phil lied.  
“Thank you.” Dan said. He got into his own jacket, put Frederick’s things into his bag and was about to lift Frederick up when Phil said: “Also. I think it would be best if you could cure him at home tomorrow. You don’t need to come. I’ll explain.”   
“Thank you so much.” Dan said and smiled thankfully.  
“Also, do you think you could give me your number so that I know how he does?” Phil asked. It was a weird question but Dan nodded eagerly and dictated his number for Phil to safe into his phone. “Get home safely.” Phil said and opened the door for Dan and Frederick.   
“Thank you!” Dan said. “I’m much obliged.” He added and smiled brightly.   
When they disappeared into the night Phil leaned against the doorframe and took a deep breath. Was he ever to forget the feelings he had for Dan? Phil shivered and already looked forward to his way home without a jacket. Frederick needed it more than him, so he was not going to complain - openly.   
Phil quickly went back inside and got his phone out of his pocket. He sent a text saying: “Just checking this works. I hope you arrived safe and soundly! My love to Frederick! Phil”   
The rest of the day Phil kept checking his phone. No reply came. He concluded that Dan didn’t want to write to him. Phil pretended he was able to swallow that bitter pill and worked until Edward pointed out that he was behaving ridiculously and sent him home.


	15. 15th December - Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! Enjoy the chapter and do let me know what you think! <3

Dan’s POV 

The rest of the day had passed in quite a blur. Dan had not been on top of his perception skills after he had kissed Phil’s fingertips. He was mad at himself for being thrown off track by a simple gesture of his own, on top of that a gesture that probably meant nothing to Phil. He had kissed Phil’s fingertips in the way he had kissed Frederick’s, right? Except, no. That was no true. Dan was quite positive that Phil hadn’t noticed anything about Dan’s change of attitude between the kisses but it had been quite obvious to himself. It was a wonder Dan had managed to stop himself from holding on to Phil’s hand or trailing on with small kisses. There is no further explanation needed to show that Dan was not quite himself for the rest of the day. He was working without knowing what he did. All he did was to try not to think about Phil too much.   
After working for what felt like years, Dan was pulled out of his state by no one else than Phil. He had looked for him to tell him Frederick was unwell. Dan immediately rushed over to where Frederick was lying. Frederick had a warm forehead. He was wrapped into Phil’s jacket and the sight made Dan’s heart swell. Dan left as soon as possible with quickly giving Phil his number. He had been quite surprised to hear him ask if he could have it. Of course, he gave it to him and was already looking forward to texting him. However, when he arrived at home he was far too busy to help Frederick to check his phone. When he arrived, he first of all laid Frederick down onto the sofa and got him a few blankets. Then he took Phil’s jacket off him and took Frederick with him to make him take a bath. Frederick was a little feverish and wasn’t awake enough to notice anything. Dan quickly cleaned him and put him into his PJs. He then took him into the living room again, laid him once again onto the sofa and wrapped him into several blankets. Once Dan was certain he was sleeping, Dan went into the kitchen and grabbed all the medicine he could find. He made himself a tea and poured a bit of hot water over a camomile tea. He knew it would work best if one actually drank it but he hoped that the scented steam could do some good as well. Dan went back into the living room and spent his day gently massaging Frederick’s tummy and chest with a cream his mother had used with him when he had been younger. Dan took Frederick to bed with him at night and woke up every now and then when Frederick turned around and started coughing. Dan gently assured him that he was there and that he would be fine before falling asleep again with Frederick pressed into his chest.  
The next morning, Dan woke up. Frederick was sleeping soundly so Dan decided to quickly take a shower. He left the door wide open to hear any potential sound Frederick would make. He was finished soon enough to make himself some breakfast and take some fruits back with him into his bedroom. Frederick was still sleeping when he came back. Dan carefully crawled back into the bed and noticed his phone lying on his bedside table. He must have placed it there when he rushed into the room to change himself. Dan now grabbed the phone and unlocked it. He saw that he had two new texts. Carla asked how her favourite Hobsnobs were. Dan quickly answered her and told the truth, without causing any alarm. He then opened the second text from an unknown number: “Just checking this works. I hope you arrived safe and soundly! My love to Frederick! Phil” Dan’s heart started beating faster. Phil was honestly interested in how they were. Dan blushed and quickly tipped a reply: “Thank you. He is doing a little better. He slept a lot. Dan” Dan knew he was a little awkward in what he was writing but he simply wanted to write something quickly. Phil perhaps thought Dan wasn’t interested in writing to him.  
Dan had just placed his phone back onto the bedside table when it vibrated. Dan grabbed it and saw with a big smile that Phil had already answered him again. “And how are you?”  
“I’m alright, thanks.” Dan said and blushed. Phil wasn’t only interested in Frederick’s health, he was also interested to know how he did.   
“I’m very happy to hear that. What are you doing right now? I’m sitting in a meeting room with people as unenthusiastic as I am.” Phil answered within seconds.  
“Don’t risk getting fired because of me.” Dan wrote with a stupid smile on his face.  
“I’d say this is worth the risk.” Phil wrote. Dan’s heart stopped beating for a second. Did he really mean that? “After all it’s important to know how the invalid is doing.” Another text said. Dan started breathing again. Phil did not mean what he had interpreted into his text, good to know.   
“I’m lying in bed, taking care that Frederick doesn’t need anything. We will probably stay here for the rest of the day.” Dan wrote.  
“I envy you.” Phil wrote, and Dan blushed again. He really should stop reading stuff into Phil’s texts, he was only being friendly, they were not flirting, right?   
“There would be room for you.” Dan wrote. He tossed his phone to the end of the bed. Why on earth would he write that? It had been quite obvious that Phil hadn’t meant anything of that sort, and yet Dan needed to press matters, as usually.   
Dan’s phone vibrated again and against his better judgement Dan immediately grabbed it and unlocked it to read Phil’s text. “Nice to know. We’re discussing today’s show now.” Phil wrote. Perhaps they were flirting after all. Except, the second part of the text contradicted the thesis.   
“Exciting! Frederick was sad that he had missed yesterday’s show.” Dan wrote, not wanting to end their conversation.  
“Poor darling. I believe there will be bits of it included on Sunday.” Phil answered. Dan’s heart started beating faster once again. It was quite cute to see Phil being so fond of Frederick.   
“I’ll tell him when he wakes up.” Dan wrote.  
“What are you doing later?” Phil wrote. Dan blushed, before he could think of anything to write back another text from Phil appeared on the screen. “I am just curious to see how you plan on curing Frederick.” And another: “Not that I try to stalk you.”   
Dan smiled fondly. Frederick moved around so he gently started stroking his head. “We will be reading a few stories. Watch your show. Eat healthy food. Perhaps play a few games when he is awake enough.” Dan wrote. He personally did not think he was sharing too much. Too much would be telling him what kinds of books or what kinds of fruit.   
“What book are you reading? And what fruit does Frederick like? I never liked bananas but I have learned to like them now!” Phil wrote. Okay, perhaps Dan was sharing a bit too much now but there was no one there to judge him or whose judgement he would care for.   
“We will probably be reading Winnie the Pooh, he is our all-time favourite (I personally really like Winnie and Frederick is wild about Tigger!) and I think I will prepare some oranges, apples and bananas for Frederick. You can never go wrong with these fruits.”   
Dan and Phil kept writing to each other for the majority of the day. Dan updated Phil constantly about Frederick’s wellbeing and Phil updated Dan on what happened at work, not much apparently. Dan also wrote things Frederick told him to write and read Phil’s answer out to him. At one point, Dan discarded his phone. There had been quite a dilemma with Frederick. He had reacted rather badly to Dan’s prepared oranges, in fact he had vomited all over the bed. Then he had started crying. Dan immediately grabbed Frederick and took him into the bathroom to take another bath.   
“You can stay here for a second alone, right? I am going to get us clean clothes.” Dan said and run off, leaving a crying Frederick in the bathtub. He was back in an instance and helped Frederick clean the sticky vomit off. “There we go. Everything is fine. It’s normal for an ill stomach to react poorly to acids.” Dan mumbled while wrapping Frederick into a towel. He sat Frederick onto the washing machine and quickly got out of his clothes, briefly cleaned himself in the shower and then put a new pyjama on. “And now everyone is warm and clean again.” Dan said and picked Frederick up. He was sleepy from crying and snuggled into Dan’s shoulder. “I’ll put you on the sofa and I will be back in a second.” Dan said. Frederick nodded and closed his eyes. Dan ran back into his room. Grabbed the sheets and everything that was in some way covered in vomit, went back into the bathroom and threw everything into the washing machine. Now Dan was completely exhausted once again. He went back into the living room and sat down next to Frederick. He then remembered it wouldn’t be bad to update his mother on what was happening with them. He reluctantly got up and went to grab his phone. On his way back to Frederick he saw that he had two missed calls and several texts. Dan frowned and checked who so desperately wanted to speak to him. It was Phil. Dan smiled and immediately called him back. There was no one there, Phil was probably on his way home without his phone. Dan sighed and called his mother instead. He quickly told her what was happening. She thanked him for calling and they soon hang up again. Dan waited for Phil to call back but he fell asleep at some point. 

 

Phil’s POV

Phil had been a little uneasy about the day. He knew he would miss Dan and he knew that was a bad state to be in when he actually was supposed to try to end this crush of his. Still pretending it was nothing more than a crush helped Phil to say to himself that he had still time to end this all.   
However, when Phil received a first text from Dan he was absolutely delighted and had high hopes for the day. He didn’t expect to achieve anything on any field but he knew he would have a nice day. They kept texting each other and Phil sometimes dared to test the waters. He wrote texts which could be interpreted in a certain way and sometimes even received a similar sort of text back from Dan. He didn’t dare to be convinced that Dan actually meant having place for Phil in his bed the same way Phil had meant that he was envious of them but he decoded that these kinds of text were already far more than he could have hoped for.  
It is perhaps appropriate to say that Phil could have saved himself a lot trouble if he would have for once looked at the matter objectively, he might have noticed that Dan was very much behaving like a single parent and not part of a three-people-family. Already the idea that Dan was alone with Frederick and proposed a place for Phil would have shown nearly everyone that there was no one but Frederick in Dan’s life at the moment. But as the universe would have it, Phil was oblivious to these kinds of circumstances.   
Phil had a relatively busy day at work. Mainly because he tried to hide the fact that he was constantly texting Dan. At the meeting, he had said that Dan had called in sick because of his young son, everyone was sympathetic and briefly spoke highly of him for his usual very good work. Then, they continued, and it was not appropriate for Phil to be thinking about Dan any longer. However, Phil obviously kept thinking about Dan and he kept texting him. Dan usually replied quickly, that was why Phil was literally sick with worry when he didn’t hear anything from Dan for over an hour. Okay, this hour was also due to his mother suddenly calling him on his way back home. A good forty minutes without a sign of life from Dan, his mother called him.   
“Who is the lucky one?” she asked without saying hello.  
“Pardon?” Phil asked and briefly checked if it was actually his mother that had called him, her face was captivating the whole of Phil’s phone screen.  
“Come on, you can’t fool me!” his mother said.  
“I have no idea what you are talking about!” this was only in parts a lie. Phil guessed that his mother was talking about Dan but he had no idea how on earth she could know anything about it.  
“I read your column. I am your mother. So, would you please tell me who the lucky one is?” his mother asked.   
“You read my column?” Phil asked.  
“I always do. I love them. Today’s column was a bit different though, wouldn’t you say so too?” his mother asked cheekily.   
“I knew it was dangerous to send it in like that.” Phil groaned.  
“So, you don’t deny it?” his mother asked excitedly.  
“No.” Phil groaned again. “But I won’t tell you anything about the lucky guy.”  
“It’s a guy!” his mother screamed triumphantly.  
“Yes. But that’s all the information you will get.” Phil said decidedly. “I know that ‘the lucky guy’ wouldn’t consider himself lucky at all if he knew about my feelings.” Phil explained.  
“Okay. Can you tell me who the cute little guy on your show was yesterday?” his mother asked.   
“How do you know…? That’s his son.” Phil said before realising what he had just revealed.   
“He is a father?” his mother asked, and Phil knew she was pressing her right hand to her heart.   
“Yes, he is.” Phil said quietly. “He is a father and a husband.”   
“Oh.” His mother said. “No possibility of you being wrong about that?” his mother asked hopefully.  
“None, I’m afraid.”   
“Oh darling. You always manage to do these kinds of things, don’t you?” she asked sympathetically.  
“Always? This is the first time I have been in love!” Phil called. He laughed pathetically. “How do you manage to always make me tell you everything?” he asked.  
“I honestly didn’t mean to. My poor darling. I am proud of you handling the situation so well.” She said seriously.   
“Thank you. Can’t say I’m proud.” Phil said. The conversation soon ended with leaving Phil with even less spirit than before. His mother only meant well but in a way, she had rubbed everything in. Phil sighed and walked up to his flat. He made himself a coffee, changed into comfortable clothes and laid down in his bed. He absently unlocked his phone and checked if there were any new massaged. His eyes widened when he saw that there was a missed call from Dan! He checked the time and saw that he had called him while he had spoken to his mother. Phil didn’t hesitate and quickly called Dan back.  
“Hello?” Dan finally said. Phil had already thought about ending the call again.  
“Dan?” Phil asked gently.  
“Yes? Phil? Oh, thank god! Did something happen?” Dan asked, he sounded sleepy and Phil’s heartbeat quickened when he imagined what Dan probably looked like right now.  
“No. I had called because I thought something might have happened to you.” Phil explained.   
“Oh.”  
“You hadn’t written anything for quite a while and I worried.” Phil said quietly.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be. I have no right to demand you texting me.” Phil said quickly.  
“No. Yes. You do.” Dan mumbled. “Everything is fine now. Frederick is sleeping next to me. He looks a little less sick now than he did earlier. He vomited after I gave him some oranges. So I was busy cleaning up everything.” Dan explained.  
“I hope you’re fine now.” Phil said and hoped his concern wasn’t too visible.  
“We are. Thank you.”   
“Do you want me to leave you alone?” Phil asked quietly.   
“No.” Dan answered quickly.   
“Good.” Phil said and exhaled slowly.   
“What have you been doing today then? How was the show?” Dan asked.  
“Alright I guess. Everything is worse today as Frederick wasn’t there to help me.” Phil said.  
“Obviously.” Dan said.   
“How was the Winnie the Pooh story?” Phil asked.  
Dan sighed and laughed. “Frederick cried because Winnie was stuck in a whole.”   
“Oh.” Phil said. Both of them said little for a few moments. Suddenly Phil heard Frederick make a confused and scared sound.   
“Frederick. Everything is fine!” Dan said alarmed.   
“What is it?” Phil asked.  
“Bad dream I suppose.” Dan said hurriedly into the phone. “Frederick! Baby boy. I am here.” Dan said gently.  
“Dad?” Phil heard Frederick asked quietly.   
“Yes. I am here darling. I love you.” Dan said. Phil stopped breathing. The words were obviously not directed at him but that didn’t mean they had no effect on Phil. Phil knew that he desperately wanted to hear those words come out of Dan’s mouth, directed to him but that was a wish for Christmas never to come true.  
“I have to go. Bye, Phil! See you tomorrow!” Dan said and hung up before Phil could have said anything.  
“I love you, Dan.” Phil whispered into his empty bedroom. Snuggled into his blanket and fell asleep.


	16. 16th December - Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have an amazing Saturday everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter! <3

Dan’s POV

Dan was a little worn out when he got up to go to work on Friday. Carla came early enough. She had a parcel with her which Dan didn’t notice at first because he had trouble keeping his eyes open.   
“How is the little Hobnob?” Carla asked.   
“He should be fine.” Dan said and smiled. “I thought about waking him to see if I should perhaps stay here.”   
“Yeah sure, let’s wake him but you will go to work.” Carla said and pushed Dan into Frederick’s room.  
“And why is that?” Dan asked.   
“You shouldn’t miss a chance to see Phil.” Carla said and winked.  
“He is not interested!” Dan groaned and quickly bent over Frederick so that Carla could say no more. “Frederick! Wake up!” Dan said gently. “I have to go to work now and would like to say goodbye to my favourite boy on earth.”   
“And he also wants to open your present!” Carla said.  
“Sorry?”  
“I bought you a little sorry-something, big Hobnob.” Carla said and got the parcel out from behind her back.   
“You shouldn’t have.” Dan said and blushed.   
“But I wanted to. Come on. Open it!” Carla encouraged him. Dan got to work and slowly peeled off the sellotape. Dan threw the paper away and unfolded a pile of blue material. A cross-eyed Father Christmas was smiling at Dan. One large one and a smaller one looked at him. “For you and the other Hobnob.” Carla said.  
“Thank you!” Dan said and put his on. “Why do you always buy us stuff?” he asked.  
“Because I want to, and I would die to see you two being dressed alike.” Carla said and kissed Dan’s cheek.   
“Frederick! Wake up! I have to go!” It took Dan a few minutes to finally get Frederick to look at him but when he did he was rewarded with a sweet smile. Dan left soon afterwards, happy to be able to see Frederick soon again. Once Dan was out of his door, he hurried towards work, if he wasn’t able to spend time with Frederick he might as well spend time with Phil. Dan practically ran up the stairs to his workplace and stormed inside. He then put his jacket onto a chair and turned around to see Phil walking towards him. Without thinking about it at all Dan closed the distance and flung his arms around Phil’s body.   
“I’m happy to see you too!” Phil said once Dan let go again. He blushed slightly but smiled widely at Dan.   
“Sorry.” Dan mumbled, now embarrassed about what he had done.  
“That’s okay.” Phil said and smiled. “How is Frederick then? Is Carla with him now?” he asked, and the smile somehow wasn’t there any longer.   
“Frederick is fine now. Carla is with him now. She came early this morning and brought us a present for not being there the majority of this week.” Dan said and smiled. “She brought Frederick and me identical jumpers.” Dan laughed and pointed to his stomach.   
“That’s very kind.” Phil said rather dryly.  
“It is. She is a darling friend. Like an aunt for Frederick. A sister for me.” Dan said and laughed again.  
“Pardon?” Phil asked, looking shocked.  
“I said she is like an aunt for Frederick.” Dan repeated slowly, not able to see the problem.   
“A sister for you.” Phil said slowly.  
“Yes. She is very fond of Frederick and loves taking care of him but she does have a proper job as well so she can’t always make it.” Dan said.   
“She seems really nice.” Phil said and suddenly the smile was back. Dan was confused but returned the smile immediately.   
“What do you do on the weekend?” Dan asked carefully with a deep blush on his face, that was annoying him.  
“Nothing, as usual.” Phil said.  
“Would you like to come visit Frederick an myself? I am sure Frederick would love it and well you aren’t supposed to be all alone on weekends, are you? Frederick would love to present you the Dan and Frederick kingdom. And we could have some fun, I mean Frederick well Frederick and I, we would be delighted to have you with us, if you wanted I am not going to pressure you…”  
“I would be very happy to come.” Phil interrupted Dan.   
“Really? On Saturday after work?” Dan asked excitedly.  
“Sure! I am looking forward to it!” Phil said.  
“So am I and so is Frederick, probably, I haven’t told him but I bet he will be.” Dan said and laughed nervously. Phil returned the laugh and Dan was positively surprised to find Phil looking a little longer at him than usual. Dan blushed and quickly turned away when Phil was called over to the meeting room.   
Dan found Phil looking at him every now and then throughout the day. At one point, Dan was rather confused and blurred out: “Is there something on my face? Have I missed a spot of toothpaste?”   
“Sorry?” Phil asked and blushed, which made Dan blush.  
“There is nothing on my face?”   
“Nope. You look dashing.” Phil said and hurried away to the set, where he had been conveniently been called to in the very moment. Dan was left to stare at him. Was this some kind of stupid joke? Dan was not in any way handsome he knew that very well. He had known his whole life! It was a wonder that Frederick was so cute with such kind of a father.   
After Phil went into the set, Dan had no chance to see him again that day. Before Phil came back out of the set Edward, came to see him, he told him he was very happy with the work he was doing and that he was very welcome to leave earlier to attend his sick son. Dan was very much obliged but offered to stay (to speak to Phil another time) but Edward quite determinedly sent him away so there was no real option for Dan but to grab his jacket and leave. Dan went home a little cross that there was no possibility to talk to Phil again. He climbed the stairs and went to open the door. He unlocked it but there was no possibility for him to push the door open. Someone had put the chain in addition to the lock.  
“Carla? What is this?” Dan asked. Carla laughed and came out of the living room.  
“That is a convenient method to keep unwelcome people out of the house.” Carla explained.  
“Very funny and now let me in.” Dan groaned.  
“Nope. Not going to do that.” Carla said and smiled.  
“Pardon?” Dan asked.  
“No! You are going to go out and appreciate that you are still young. I will take great care of Frederick. You can believe me.”  
“I happily believe that even if I have to doubt your sanity.” Dan said.   
“You go out and forget your tiny problems for an evening. To it for me?” Carla asked.   
“I could consider it but I don’t have any money. First time I can proudly say so.” Dan said and made a grimace.  
“I’ll give you money. Just be a young man again.”  
“What is so bad about being a young father?” Dan spat out.  
“Nothing. Just don’t forget you have a right to be young as well!” Carla said gently.   
“You really make me do this, don’t you?” Dan sighed.  
“Afraid so.” Carla shrugged.  
“I would seriously prefer to spend the evening with Frederick and you.” Dan tried.   
“Aren’t you a cutie! Now get lost.” Carla said, handed him some money and closed the door.   
“I don’t like you particularly right now!” Dan shouted. He heard Carla laugh and also heard her turn around to go back into the living room presumably.   
Dan sighed and slowly went down the stairs. Where should he go? It was barely a decent time to get sloshed. Once Dan breathed in the crisp near-evening air, he set out for the park. First of all, he bought himself a waffle and slowly walked through the park. Unnaturally often his thoughts landed on Phil. Dan once even pretended to have him walking next to himself until he noticed and made himself stop.   
No matter how this evening turned out he had to remember not to text anyone. Drunk text from Dan were the worst things in the world and he really didn’t want anyone to suffer under them. He would put the phone out once he had entered a pub. 

 

Phil’s POV

Phil hadn’t expected the day to get any better than to have a happy Dan fall around his neck when he first saw him. However, a few minutes later not only did Dan tell Phil that Carla was like a sister for him he also invited him to come to Frederick’s and his place on Saturday. Phil was over the moon and smiled at everyone. He also stared at Dan quite a large proportion of the day. He firstly was positive no one noticed but apparently Dan had because he asked Phil whether there was something on his face. Phil replied something and ended with “You look dashing.” He was very thankful to be called into the set at that precise moment. He had temporarily forgotten that now that Carla was no longer an obstacle Phil was the one that essentially prevented any further acquaintance. Amazing to remember that seconds before he had to make a happy children’s show. Not the best timing, not really. Phil managed to make himself appear happy again once he remembered that Dan genuinely wanted him to come and visit on Saturday. An honest friendship was better than nothing, right? Phil was on the verge to shout that it certainly wasn’t but he stopped himself, he wasn’t usually this ungrateful for the things life had to offer for him.  
Phil finished the show without being entirely happy or disappointed. He walked out of the set and hoped to find Dan somewhere around the office but had to burry that hope as Edward told him he had sent him away to look after his son. Edward was a very thoughtful person and Phil envied him a little to have thought of offering that to Dan instead of Phil. Phil continued to work drifting off with his thoughts ever so often but managed to finish the essential tasks he had set himself and left for his apartment. On his way home, Phil was jealous of every couple he saw. There were a few that were simply holding hands, others snogged and the worst of them all were couples with little children accompanying them. Phil was still happy in a way that there was no one with Dan but sad at the same time for not being able to be the one to step into that place and that only because of who he was, really. Phil sighed and let himself into his little apartment. He tossed his shoes into one corner and walked over to his bedroom and collapsed onto the bed. He couldn’t quite believe that he had been extremely happy earlier. It seemed like a dream. Everything concerning Dan felt like a dream. The little kisses he had pressed to his fingertips a few days ago? Might as well have been a fantasy of Phil’s. The hug today certainly was, or wasn’t it? Phil believed to still remember Dan’s scent quite strongly but that might just be a coincidence.   
After thinking on like this for a while, Phil’s head began to spin. Phil closed his eyes and before knowing what he did he drifted off to sleep.   
Several hours later Phil was suddenly wide awake. He sat up in his bed and needed a bit of time to orientate. He was sitting in his bed but why was he awake? Phil looked around the room and nearly started screaming when his phone’s notification went off at an incredible volume. This would explain why he was awake.   
Phil grabbed the phone and checked who had written to him. He was not able to read the name (his vision was a little blurry due to sleeping with his contact lenses in) because another text popped up. Phil unlocked his phone and saw that he had several new texts coming all from one person: Dan.   
“phli.”  
“Phil.”  
“Are you awake?”  
“I am awake..1!.”  
“I am intoxicated, some might say. I personally would prefer not quite myself.”   
“Did you no that there are several kidns of drunk pepl?”   
“*know”  
“*kinds”  
“*people”  
“just because I’m intoxicated doesn’t mean I can’t sple correctly any longer.”   
Phil smiled at this weird collection of texts. Why was Dan so adorable when he was drunk? Couldn’t be a little less tempting to fall in love with at least under one condition?  
“phil.” Another text came.  
“Dan.” Phil answered.  
“You ARE awake!” Dan replied quickly.  
“Yes. I am now.”   
“Grandpa.”  
“Teen.”  
“You can’t offend me.” Dan wrote. “You are not the person to offend people.” “You are more one to make everyone love you.”   
“I certainly don’t.” Phil wrote.   
“How do you explain me being in love with you then?” Dan wrote. Even though he hadn’t made any mistakes in that sentence Phil was positive that he was drunk, he wasn’t meaning the stuff he was writing. He certainly wasn’t.   
“Everyone loves you!” “Frederick loves you.” “You r his role model.” “I am his lousy father.” “When he gets older he’ll appreciate Emma.” Dan wrote.  
Phil had no time to react to what Dan had written. He froze and asked: “Emma?”  
“Frederick’s mum. Frederick’s got all his looks form her.”   
“She must be pretty.”  
“Yes.” “Very.” “Have you looked at Frederick once?”   
Phil felt tears forming in his eyes. He should have known that just because Carla wasn’t Dan’s wife didn’t mean that there wasn’t one.   
“I have. He is very pretty.”  
“You are very pretty.” “And intelligent.” “And cute.”  
“Can you please stop making fun of me?” Phil wrote now crying silently, not that anyone would care if he made some noise.  
“I am not making fun.” Dan wrote. “I am not.” “I love you.”   
“I love you too.” Phil wrote. Was there anything to loose now?  
“Oh dear. I am completely drunk, aren’t I? I pretend to write texts to you!” Dan wrote, and Phil sobbed. He knew he was not being honest.   
“Shouldn’t you go home?” Phil wrote.   
“But this is fun!” Dan wrote, Phil nodded and grimaced. The knife in his heart was no longer causing too much pain. This was bearable, right?   
“Please go home to your family.” Phil wrote. He remembered that Dan had hinted at Frederick and him living alone but with a sister in law living kind of in Sweden and kind of in England Phil was no one to ignore the serious attachment behind that.  
“Okay.”  
“Emma is a very lucky person.” Phil wrote.  
“I love you.”   
“Stop it.” Phil wrote, fresh tears streaming down his face. Phil wasn’t used to be so sensible but this was just bad timing, right? He could be happy even without Dan, right? He could survive! Survive, yes, obviously but if he would call that kind of life he would be leading ‘living’ was a whole different question.   
“I’m on my way home.” Dan wrote.  
“Good.”  
“I am tired.”  
“See it was best that you would go home!” Phil wrote and added tentatively: “Could you do me a favour?”  
“Anything.” Dan’s answered quickly.  
“Before you get home please delete every message we have exchanged.”  
“Why?”  
“Trust me. It’s better for everyone.” Phil said. Taking a deep breath. Just because he wouldn’t be happy didn’t mean that he was going to destroy Dan’s happiness. With making Dan delete the texts he made sure that there was no evidence of Dan’s drunken lies that could trouble Emma.   
“Okay. I will delete them now, otherwise I’ll forget.”  
“Thank you. Every. Single. One.” He wrote.   
“Good night, Phil. I’m home.”  
“Happy you arrived safely. Good night, Dan.” Phil wrote and tossed the phone through the room. He didn’t care if it would survive the fall. Nothing really mattered now, did it? Phil blew his nose in a tissue and took a few deep breaths.  
“I am not going to cry anymore. This is what life has in stock for me so I better deal with it.” Phil said out loud and discarded the tissue vaguely into the same direction as his phone. Now that his phone wasn’t illuminating the room it was pitch black. Phil was comforted by the calmness around him and promised himself that he would not disturb the silence with any sobs of his.


	17. 17th December - Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 3rd of Advent! Enjoy the Sunday and this chapter of course! <3

Dan’s POV 

There was noise coming from somewhere near his ear. That was all Dan noticed. He had no idea what that noise was or what caused it. After attempting to just ignore it, Dan gave up and opened his eyes. He blindly grabbed his phone and realised it had made the noise all along. He unlocked it and stopped the alarm clock. He then let the phone sink down again. Dan knew he was lying in his bed but he had no clue how he had ended back in there. The last memories he had had were of him drinking something in a bar. Oh dear. He had been drunk. Dan quickly unlocked the phone and checked for messages he had sent. There was one to Carla, claiming her to be the worst person on earth. Dan’s heart did a little uneasy jump when he saw that he had written Phil a message as well. With trembling hands, he opened their chat. He breathed out relieved when it said: “Good night, Phil. I’m home.” “Happy you arrived safely. Good night, Dan.” Dan was a bit astonished that he hadn’t drunkenly written anything else but he was very happy about it nevertheless.   
Dan scrolled a bit through his and Phil’s chat until he realised how late it already was. Dan jumped up which made him hiss at the same moment. He had a truly terrible headache. He bit his lip and made it first into the kitchen to grab a glass of water and to make himself a coffee. He then quickly washed and changed before downing the coffee and burning his tongue slightly.   
“Morning!” was the second sound Dan heard. The first sound came from the doorbell and the second was Carla shouting in his face with a bright smile.  
“That was a terrible idea.” Dan said simply.   
“Oh dear. I think you might be right!” Carla said and looked a little sorry.   
“Yes.” Dan said shortly and went into the kitchen to look for painkillers.  
“Did you text anyone else yesterday?” Carla asked carefully.  
“You can be really thankful I didn’t, otherwise you wouldn’t have any reason to smile right now!” Dan growled.  
“I am sorry.” Carla said. Dan nodded and for the sake of his head stopped talking until he had to leave.   
“Right. See you later. You better not lock me out.” Dan warned.  
“Never. Have fun!” Carla said and closed the door, if Dan would have been a little more awake he might have interpreted that smile of hers as a mischievous one.   
“Yeah, whatever.” Dan groaned and walked down the stairs. At first the cold fresh air was biting but after a couple of meters it helped to wake Dan up. Somehow it also felt like the groggy feeling was blown out of Dan, an agreeable feeling.   
Only when Dan went up the last few steps to enter his workplace, he remembered that Phil had agreed to accompany him home today. Dan started smiling and was able to forget his headache, at least for as long as he spoke to Phil, afterwards it came back and it wasn’t easy to complete even simple tasks like delivering coffee.   
“I will be so glad when we get home.” Dan groaned and sipped his coffee.   
“I am looking forward to it too.” Phil said and smiled gently.   
“I haven’t talked to Frederick since yesterday morning!” Dan sighed in the next second.  
“How did that happen?” Phil asked carefully.  
“Carla locked me out and told me to have fun.” Dan said. “You can see how much fun I had!” he said sarcastically while pointing to his scrunched up face.   
“Oh dear.” Phil said sympathetically. In the next moment he was called to go and film today’s episode. “If you would like to watch something peaceful, feel free to look through that window, I will excuse you if somebody should say something.” Phil said and smiled.  
“You are looking at drawings, aren’t you?” Dan asked. “I’d love to just stand there and watch.” He admitted and followed Phil. In a way it was more like torture than pleasure to watch Phil be cute and funny while knowing that he would never even consider someone like Dan.   
Phil firstly went through his introduction and then looked at a few monsters, sent in by his young viewers. He then went on to the general drawings, a lot of them were Christmas themed obviously. The fifth picture Phil held up into the camera made Dan’s eyes nearly pop out of his head. The drawing looked a lot like something Frederick would have drawn. This could not be his though, could it? It showed two men and a small boy, perhaps it was Frederick’s, perhaps he had drawn himself with Dan and Phil, perhaps Carla sent it in. Dan was about to rule that theory out when he saw that Phil blushed and looked at him for the tiniest fraction of time. It was Frederick’s drawing and Carla probably had something to do with it. Dan blushed deeply. Phil wouldn’t think it had been him, would he?   
Dan starred at Phil constantly for the rest of the show. Not once did his eyes focus on something else. While staring rather rudely at Phil, he noticed, apart from interesting details about Phil’s face, that Phil actually seemed rather genuine in his performance. The cut version the viewers watched on screen in the afternoon was close to what he was in real life but this recording Phil was actually pretty close to what he was in real life. Okay. Dan simply didn’t want to admit that Phil was behaving identically because he still hoped for a reason to make himself stop the feelings he had for Phil. However, when Phil came out of the set and walked over to him Dan knew that there was no chance of that ever happening.   
“Nice show.” Dan said and smiled weakly.   
“Nice pictures.” Phil said.   
“Was… Did Frederick send one in?” Dan asked and blushed deeply. “I didn’t!”  
“He drew it but it had Carla written in brackets in the corner.” Phil said and smiled.   
“That vicious witch!” Dan groaned.  
“Try saying that three times!” Phil said. Dan laughed and was thankful that Phil once again showed that he was able to de-tense a situation. “Listen, I only have to finish a few bits in my office and then we can be off.” Phil mumbled.   
“I’m going to do a quick round of services and then we can go.” Dan agreed.   
They met at the chairs nearly four whole hours later. They actually finished later than they would have done on a weekday. Phil explained that a lot of people were sick which explained why they both had to work more than usually.   
“I guess it was a bit more than a quick round, sorry.” Dan said. He was truly sorry that he had potentially less time to spend with Phil.   
“I wasn’t finished any earlier than you were. Besides it’s certainly not your fault.” Phil said and smiled.   
“Let’s go?”  
“Let’s go.” Phil agreed, and they set off. “Frederick is a good drawer.”   
“Perhaps the only decent trait he got from me.” Dan said and laughed. “Not that I draw remarkably well but we both like drawing and doodling. Just like you do?”   
“Pardon?”  
“On your shows. You draw.” Dan said, suddenly the uneasiness about Phil simply portraying a character came back.   
“Yes. But that’s hardly good!” Phil said and laughed. “I like drawing well enough but I have a problem to be enthusiastic about something when I am not happy with the result.” Phil said and laughed.   
“Fair enough.” Dan said. “Oh.”  
“What is it?” Phil asked, he sounded concerned.  
“Nothing too important. It’s only that your show will already be over when we get home!” Dan said.   
“Pity.” Phil said but he didn’t sound sorry at all. Dan was confused and not to make anyone feel uneasy, he changed the topic. They were talking about school trips (even though Dan had hated most of his time at school) when they walked up the stairs.  
“There we are!” Dan said and unlocked the door. Dan did not have to call Frederick he already heard the tiny feet darting towards the door.  
“Dad!” Frederick called out. Dan kneeled down and squeezed him tight. He then picked him up and waved Phil inside to be able to close the door. “Phil!” Frederick called happily.   
“Hello, Frederick.”   
“Carl! It’s Phil!” Frederick shouted excitedly.  
“Carl?” Phil asked confused.  
“Frederick has a habit of calling Carla, Carl. I don’t know why but we all just roll with it.” Dan explained. Phil rolled his eyes and laughed. Carla came running into the hallway and smiled brightly at the sight.  
“Hey, I’m Carla.” She said and shook Phil’s hand. “I am a huge fan of your show, obviously, you cannot not be when you are acquainted with these Hobnobs.” Carla said and smiled brightly.   
“Thank you.” Phil said and blushed a little bit.   
“Your show!” Frederick shouted excitedly. “Dad! Phil looked at my picture on his show!”   
“You drew one?” Dan asked and pretended to be surprised but glanced a little annoyed over to Carla who just poked her tongue out at him and pulled them into the living room.   
“I did. I drew myself, you and Phil!” Frederick said proudly.   
“Well done!” Dan said and kissed Frederick’s cheek.   
“Can we have hot chocolate?” Frederick asked.  
“Sure. Phil? Are you up for some hot chocolate? Carla?”   
“I’d love to but I gotta dash.” Carla said and winked at Dan. He rolled his eyes and stood up with Frederick still on his arm.   
“Pity. Thank you for taking care! I’ll see you on Monday?” he asked while showing her out.  
“I’ll be there. Don’t mess this up.” Carla muttered and happily danced out of the apartment.   
Dan supressed a sigh and took Frederick into the kitchen. “Oh. Quickly run and get Phil in here too.” Dan said and put Frederick down.   
“Come! We are going to make hot chocolate! Dad is really good with hot chocolate!” Frederick said to Phil. Dan smiled. He was great with hot chocolate. That was something at least, wasn’t it?

 

Phil’s POV

Phil had thought a long time about the whole matter. In the end he concluded that having Dan tell him that he thought Phil to be the better role model for Frederick, broke Phil’s heart. It wasn’t true, and he needed Dan to realise that. Phil was a little mad with Emma for allowing these kinds of thoughts in Dan but if she did nothing Phil most certainly would. Perhaps he could start today when he was over at their house. Suddenly a big smile appeared on Phil’s face. He would be at their house later that day. There were sadly quite a few hours between first seeing Dan and being able to accompany him home. Obviously, hearing Dan talk of taking Phil home did unspeakable things to him but he had already concluded after showing Frederick’s drawing on his show which featured Dan, Frederick and himself, and after having Dan stare at him for the rest of the show that quite a few hard things to stand through would occur that day. Without exaggerating much it was easy to describe Phil’s day as all over the place.   
Phil did not work as concentrated as he could have which made it necessary to wait even longer but Phil also needed that time to make it quite clear to himself that this was not a date it was much more like a charity action coming from Dan’s side. He had said himself that no one should be alone on weekends in December (or something along the lines). Okay, perhaps it wasn’t fair to say that Dan only wanted to do a charitable thing with inviting Phil. He surely did like him as a friend. But that was already everything.   
On their way to Dan’s home, they talked about Frederick and about Phil’s show. Somehow, they ended up with talking about school activities. Phil was happy talking about his school life but it was evident that Dan was relieved when they arrived in front of the door.   
A few seconds after Dan had opened the door Frederick came running for Dan. They cuddled, and Phil was quite mesmerized by that scene that meeting Carla happened in quite a blur. Only when the door closed again, and Phil found himself alone in the living room, he woke up again. Before Phil could seriously think about what he should do Frederick came running to him, took his hand and pulled him towards the kitchen door.   
“Come! We are going to make hot chocolate! Dad is really good with hot chocolate!” Frederick said excitedly.  
“I believe he is.” Phil said and followed happily. Dan was standing in front of the stove stirring a pot of milk.  
“Frederick, can you get the cocoa powder?” Dan asked.  
“I am small, silly.” Frederick said and giggled.   
“Ask Phil to pick you up then.” Dan said and grimaced at Frederick which made him giggle even more. Phil went over to Frederick who had climbed onto a chair and picked him up.   
“Where can you find that cocoa powder?” Phil asked Frederick.  
“In that cupboard!” Frederick said and pointed to the one right on top.   
“Okay then. We can do this together, I think.” Phil said and raised Frederick a little higher. It was funny to think that Phil was in no way able to lift carry things unless these things were small children. Then it was always remarkably easy. Frederick grabbed the box of cocoa powder and placed it onto the counter next to Dan. Phil had simply kept Frederick on his arm and positioned them so that they could look at Dan.   
“Oh bollocks.” Dan shouted a second later.   
“What is it?” Phil asked.  
“I burned my hand with hot milk.” Dan mumbled embarrassedly. Phil made Frederick sit on his hip, quickly went over to Dan, took his hand and dragged him over to the tab. “Thanks.” Dan mumbled. Phil now went over to the stove, still with Frederick on his hip, to prepare the hot chocolate.   
“All done.” He said and turned around. He saw that Dan had been staring at him. Phil blushed but was too shy to interpret that stare as anything but Dan being angry that he was carrying his son. When Phil thought about the texts Dan had sent the night before (which he really tried not to) it was even more probable that Dan was angry with him. Phil gently sat down Frederick onto a chair and sat down on the remaining empty one, Emma’s probably.   
“What will we do today?” Frederick asked excitedly while blowing waves into his hot chocolate.   
“Not much I’m afraid.” Dan said apologetically. “It’s already a little late.”   
“Can we read a story?” Frederick asked.   
“Of course. There will always be time for reading.” Dan said and took a sip of his drink.   
“Do you like reading?” Frederick asked Phil.  
“I love reading.” Phil said.   
“What do you read?” Frederick asked and carefully sipped at his drink.  
“I like reading animal stories. Or stories about wizards, like Harry Potter.” Phil said carefully with a glance over to Dan. Dan nodded ever so slightly and smiled at him.  
“I love them.” Frederick said.   
“We haven’t read a lot of Harry Potter lately because I have been a little tired but we are planning to continue steadily.” Dan explained.   
“I love animals too.” Frederick said. “I like tigers.”   
“Aren’t they scary?” Phil asked.   
“Tigger is really nice.” Frederick said and looked worriedly over to Dan.   
“Yes, he is. But we have looked at the pictures of real big tigers in India, haven’t we? They can be dangerous.” Dan helped out.  
“Yes. I prefer Tigger.” Frederick said.   
“Me too. But I also really like Piglet.” Phil said. “And Owl, she is pretty clever, and Kenga and Ruh, they are funny as well and Eeyore of course. I have always had a soft spot for him.”   
“You know Winnie the Pooh?” Frederick asked amazed.   
“Yes. But shame on me. I have forgotten the two most important characters: Winnie and Christopher!” Phil exclaimed.   
“I like everyone.” Frederick said.   
“So we all do.” Dan said and smiled brightly.   
They soon settled on the sofa and Frederick picked out a book which Dan read to him and Phil. There were shivers running down Phil’s spine constantly at the sound of Dan’s soft voice. Phil had to snuggle into his jumper to stop goose-pimples from appearing.   
When Dan had finished Frederick was rather tired. They kept talking with him for about half an hour. He then quite suddenly fell asleep, head on Dan’s tummy and feet on Phil’s legs.   
“Phil?” Dan asked after they had listened to Frederick’s even breath for quite a while.  
“Yes?” Phil asked and smiled.   
“Why did you choose the job of a television presenter for children?” Dan asked.  
“Quite specific question.” Phil said and laughed. “I think I did it because I love working with or in this case rather for children.” Phil shrugged.   
“Couldn’t you have become a nursery school teacher as well?” Dan asked.  
“Perhaps yes. But someone told me my weirdness which made me unable to fit into a normal workplace would work excellently on television. I decided to give it a shot and well that’s what I do now. And what I love to do.”   
“Who cares if you’re a loser and everybody knows it?”  
“Don’t you dare quote my song to me.”   
“Your song?”   
“Yep. I wrote it. And I also named the show.” Phil said proudly.   
“I could have guessed that.” Dan laughed quietly. “Phil?” Dan asked after he had stayed silent for a few minutes.  
“Yes?”  
“Are you really like you are on the show?” Dan asked.   
“I would think you knew me quite well enough to answer that question yourself.” Phil said and gave his best not to sound hurt.  
“Do I?”  
“I think you do.” Phil said. “Dan, you need to trust people. Well, I want you to trust me at least.” Phil said and smiled.   
“I think I do.” Dan mumbled.   
“Gotta be certain.” Phil said and smiled gently. Dan stared at Phil and a smile slowly appeared on his face.   
“I am very happy that you are here.” Dan mumbled.   
“So am I.” Phil said.   
Phil thought that he saw Dan blushing but he couldn’t be sure because it was rather dark already. It was lovely to simply sit there on a sofa with Frederick and Dan and just do nothing. However, Phil knew that he should probably be going home relatively soon. He was about to clear his throat when he thankfully looked over and saw that Dan’s eyes were closed and that his chest was rising and falling evenly. Phil stared at them and smiled affectionately. Well, he didn’t know what his smile looked like but he knew that he was certainly feeling affection in that moment and that was practically the same thing.   
After staring rather creepily at the sight in front of him, Phil decided that he would stay the night. Dan could perhaps be mad but leaving now was bad and waking them was something Phil really didn’t want to do. Instead he got up carefully. He picked up the sleeping Frederick and gently pushed Dan into a lying position. Then he laid Frederick in front of him. Now they needed a blanket and Phil too, preferably. Phil carefully walked around the house and saw that there was a big blanket on a bed which probably belonged to Dan. In the next room, Frederick’s room there was a much thinner blanket which would be enough for Phil. He took the blankets put the large one over Dan and Frederick, got himself a pillow from the end of one sofa and laid down on the carpet. He had had worse places to sleep, especially as the gentle breathing from Dan and Frederick calmed him down and made him fall asleep quickly.


	18. 18th December - Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tiny bit late. Sorry for that. I hope you enjoy! <3 :)

Dan’s POV

Dan opened his eyes and was confused. Not only wasn’t he lying in his bed but there was a weird smell in the air. Dan looked around and saw that he was lying on a sofa in the living room. Frederick was lying next to him and they were covered by Dan’s blanket. As to the smell in the air Dan quickly figured out that it smelled like pancakes. Someone was in the kitchen making pancakes. That someone was Phil. Dan blushed and pressed Frederick a little closer. Dan did not know what to do. Should he stay on the sofa and wait until Phil came around or should he wake Frederick up? In the end it was not for Dan to make a decision because Frederick opened his eyes and yawned.   
“Morning, sleepy head.” Dan said and smiled.   
“Morning.” Frederick said and yawned.   
“Shall we get up?” Dan asked. Frederick yawned again and shook his head. Dan laughed and sat up. He pulled Frederick onto his lab and looked around the room. He saw a blanket folded on the floor next to a cushion. Did Phil sleep on the floor? He surely didn’t? But where else would he have slept? As far as Dan knew Phil, he wouldn’t have intruded his personal space and slept in his bed. Knowing Phil, he surely had slept on the floor right next to them. Dan blushed at the thought. Frederick moved around on his lab and yawned while snuggling into Dan. Dan smiled and stood up. While holding tightly onto the sleepy Frederick he grabbed the blanket Phil used and wrapped it around Frederick. Frederick hummed contently and pressed his face against Dan’s chest. With this package on his arms Dan carefully walked into the kitchen. Phil stood in front of the stove, his back to Dan. He was moving around as if he was dancing while flipping the pancake in the pan. Dan could not dare to disturb the scene, even if looking at Phil for more than a second made Dan’s heart beat unconditionally quickly. Also, Dan’s mind was producing images which were not at all helpful under these peculiar circumstances.   
Dan eventually cleared his throat. Phil spun around and smiled brightly. Dan was immediately reminded of Phil warning him that he should trust more people. Once again Dan pretended to roll his eyes inwardly. Dan really needn’t be told that! At least not by Phil! The moment Dan had first seen him with Frederick Dan knew that he would trust Phil with his life. Perhaps Phil was right in a general sense, he wasn’t trusting a lot of people but he was most definitely completely trusting Phil.   
“Morning.” Dan said quietly.   
“Morning.” Phil answered equally quietly with a bright smile.   
“Do you fancy a coffee?” Dan asked.   
“Sure.” Phil said and laughed.  
“What?” Dan asked.   
“Well. I would very much like to make that coffee. But I have no idea where to find anything to make said coffee. And you are busy holding a baby.” Phil explained.  
“You’re right even if Frederick is hardly a baby any longer.” Dan said.   
“No?”  
“He’ll always be a baby for me.” Dan admitted with a sigh.  
“See. That’s what I mean.” Phil said and smiled. “Do you want me to hold Frederick? I promise I won’t drop him, I will take great ca…”  
“I trust you, Phil.” Dan said and looked into Phil’s eyes. Phil returned the stare a little confused but then his eyes softened, and Dan could no longer hold the stare. “There you go.” Dan said while placing Frederick onto Phil’s arms.  
“Hello.” Phil said and gently rocked Frederick around who started smiling slightly but slept on soundly. Dan stared at the two a little mesmerized. Phil looked up and stared Dan down. Dan blushed and turned around. He walked over to the cupboards and opened a few randomly. He finally found the coffee and turned around to see Phil smiling fondly at him. Dan blushed and quickly made the coffee.   
“Phil!” Frederick mumbled. He was confused.   
“Good morning Frederick.” Phil said and smiled.   
“Will you always be here from now on?” Frederick asked and rubbed his eyes. Dan blushed and went over to kneel in front of Frederick.   
“Phil spends the whole weekend with us.” Dan explained with a red head.   
“We will have fun today!” Phil said happily.   
“The three of us?” Frederick asked, and Dan’s heart practically melted.   
“Yes.” Dan said and kissed Frederick’s cheek. Frederick smiled and kissed Dan’s cheek in return, then he turned around and kissed Phil’s cheek. Dan blushed but smiled widely when he saw that Phil was blushing as well.   
“Let’s have pancakes, shall we?” Phil asked and made Frederick properly sit on his lab.   
“Yes.” Frederick said excitedly. Dan picked him up which made him lean into Phil. Dan’s face was very close to Phil’s now. He lingered a little bit but quickly withdrew and sat down with Frederick on his lab on the seat across the table. Phil got up and grabbed the pancakes. He looked helplessly around. “You take Frederick, I lay the table.” Dan said and stood up again.   
“I meant to make a lovely breakfast…” Phil started but couldn’t continue as Frederick was suddenly sick all over him.   
“Oh heavens.” Dan cried out and banged the cupboard shut. “Let’s go into the bathroom, quickly.” He said and ran through the apartment. Phil followed him and gently tried to sooth Frederick who had started crying. Dan put the tab on and started undressing Frederick. “Can you hold him? I will go grab a few fresh clothes for him.” Dan said hurriedly and handed a crying naked Frederick over to Phil.   
“There, there, Frederick.” Dan heard Phil say gently. Dan smiled and hurried to find clothes in Frederick’s room. He came rushing back into the bathroom and saw that Phil had sat down on the edge of the bathtub, balancing Frederick on one knee.   
“I’ve got the clothes.” Dan huffed out. “I have no idea why he just vomited.”  
“Neither have I.” Phil said and laughed. “Would you mind terribly if I would steal a fresh shirt of yours and perhaps take a shower?” Phil asked and looked down on his dirty shirt.   
“Sure. Of course.” Dan said and blushed.   
“Let’s clean Frederick first though, and wrap him in something cosy.” Phil said and nuzzled Frederick’s hair. Dan sighed quietly. He could not get the thought out of his head that this was, no matter how many problems occurred, prefect. To distract himself he quickly checked the water and grabbed a sponge from underneath the sink.   
“This should be fine.” Dan said and scooped up Frederick from Phil’s lab. Phil took the sponge out of Dan’s hand and started gently rubbing circles all over Frederick’s body. Frederick was calm again and sleepy. He had slept quite a lot but he was also still moderately sick. “Now we are already clean again, aren’t we, Frederick?” Dan asked and blew a kiss onto Frederick’s stomach.  
“Phil isn’t.” Frederick whispered sleepily.  
“That’s right.” Dan said and laughed quietly.   
“I will clean myself afterwards. You can cuddle in nice and warm and make Dan read to you.” Phil said and stroke Frederick’s cheek.   
“Will you read to me, dad?” Frederick asked.  
“Of course.” Dan said. Dan and Phil quickly dressed Frederick. Dan picked Frederick up and carried him out into the living room. He laid Frederick onto the blanket that was still lying there. He pulled the blanket over him slightly and kissed his forehead. “I’ll be back in a sec.” Dan said and rushed into his own room. He desperately tried to find a shirt he would not be embarrassed to lend Phil. In the end he grabbed a plain shirt and his university jumper and went back towards the bathroom. He knocked and waited with a red head.   
“Come in!” Phil said and giggled. He then opened the door himself. He was standing in front of Dan not wearing his shirt. Dan knew he was staring but he couldn’t stop.   
“I got you a shirt and a jumper.” Dan said and bent his neck, looking at his feet.   
“Thank you.” Phil said gently and brushed over Dan’s fingers as he was taking the clothes.   
“You’re welcome.” Dan mumbled and practically ran away. He sat down on the couch and pulled Frederick onto his lab. How on earth should Dan concentrate on anything while he knew Phil was showering a few meters away? “Let’s read something, shall we?” Dan asked and only noticed then that Frederick was asleep. Dan groaned and closed his eyes but that only made the image of a topless Phil pop up in his head again. This wasn’t good. 

 

Phil’s POV

Phil woke up with an aching back. He somehow knew immediately where he was. He was lying in Dan’s living room, on the carpet, underneath a very thin blanket. He tried to fall asleep again but he was restless unless he was staring at Frederick and Dan but out of fear that Dan should wake up and find him like that Phil quietly got up, folded the blanket and made his way into the kitchen. After he had finally assembled all the ingredients he needed for some simple pancakes and started making the first, Dan suddenly cleared his throat behind him. He was carrying Frederick wrapped in a blanket. Phil loved the sight in front of him. Dan looked incredibly cute with bed hair and even more so with Frederick on his arms. Phil couldn’t stop smiling. A few minutes later Dan handed Frederick over to Phil and made coffee. Phil pretended not to notice that Dan opened wrong cupboards first, he should know where to find everything to make a simple coffee. Problem was that with Frederick on his arm and seeing Dan morning-ly disorientated, Phil didn’t dare to look for the reason for Dan’s behaviour, he wouldn’t deliberately make himself not enjoy the little time he had with Frederick and Dan.   
After making the coffee, Dan went over to Frederick and Phil. Frederick had woken up slightly and asked whether Phil would always be there with them from now on – what a nice way to break a person’s heart. Dan answered something, and Phil quickly joined him in not putting any ideas into Frederick’s head. Frederick understood and returned the kiss on the cheek to Dan but to his very surprise, also to Phil. He blushed deeply and thought everyone must hear his heart beating as loudly as he did.   
The next things that happened all rushed past Phil. He was holding Frederick, he was looking at Dan, who had offered to lay the table. Phil was a little disappointed at first, he had wanted to prepare the breakfast all by himself as a little thank you for Dan for letting him stay. Now Dan was helping a great deal but Phil wasn’t too mad, this meant after all that he was allowed to hold Frederick and who would say no to such a ball of cuteness? Not long after Phil was holding Frederick however, he decided to vomit all over Phil. Phil was surprised but he wasn’t totally disgusted, only in the normal degree, he was not going to blame Frederick for doing a normal sick child action. Dan banged the cupboard shut and urged Phil to follow him into the bathroom. There they quickly began undressing Frederick. At one point, Dan left to get some clothes for Frederick and left Phil alone. Phil tried to calm Frederick down. He managed to do so just fine. Frederick wasn’t crying any longer, he was occasionally sobbing a little bit but he wasn’t crying. A sob here and there wasn’t as bad as a fully crying baby. Dan came back, and they quickly cleaned Frederick and dressed him. Dan left. Phil smiled a little and took of the shirt which smelled rather badly. He looked into his face in the mirror. He looked awfully pale, as usual and he had dark circles underneath the eyes. There was a tentative knock on the door. Phil giggled. This was Dan’s home!   
“Come in!” He said and opened the door himself. Phil noticed Dan staring while handling him the clothes and mumbling something. Phil blushed and was relatively thankful that Dan left quite soon again. He couldn’t stand to be looked at in that way. Being looked at as something disgusting surely wasn’t in anyone’s favour but being looked at like that by Dan was a whole different thing for Phil. It broke his heart a little bit and he hurried to get himself dressed again.   
Phil eventually pulled Dan’s shirt over his head. It was a little tight. Phil was happy he could put on the university jumper alongside the shirt. He wouldn’t want to traumatise Dan with showing his pale skin once again. Phil took a deep breath and went out into the living room. Dan was sitting on a sofa with Frederick. Frederick appeared to be sleeping. Dan was slowly stroking through his hair and stopped when he saw Phil coming out of the bathroom. He smiled carefully. Phil returned the smile and went over to Dan.   
“Do you want to have breakfast perhaps?” Phil asked and blushed.   
“I totally forgot about that!” Dan called out and laughed. “Sure.” He added. He got up and pulled the blanket a little tighter around Frederick. “He will hear us in the kitchen if he wakes up.” Dan said and walked into the kitchen. “Thank you a thousand times.” He said and fell onto a chair.  
“What for?” Phil asked confusedly, while sitting down himself.  
“Everything really.” Dan said and got up again to get them plates, knifes and mugs.   
“You gotta explain that!” Phil said and crossed his arms scrutinizing Dan.   
“I finally have a job? You are very sweet with Frederick? In general, and now today and yesterday especially? And also thank you for the breakfast.” Dan said. A cute blush covered his face when he turned back to Phil.   
“I meant to surprise you with it.” Phil admitted.  
“And you did! Thank you! I know I don’t deserve it but thank you anyways.”   
“You don’t deserve it? Can you tell me of anyone who deserves it more than you?” Phil asked, seriously confused that Dan thought so little of himself.  
“What have I done then to deserve this treatment?” Dan asked and sat down facing Phil.   
“What have you done?” Phil asked. Why was he in charge of this? Shouldn’t Emma be doing this? “What haven’t you done? Look at you! You are raising a child! You are working alongside, and you are the kindest person anyone has ever met!”   
“You are talking about yourself right now, I know. Besides you haven’t met me drunk.” Dan stated and laughed without the laugh reaching his eyes. Phil was a little dumbfounded at what Dan said. First of all, he had to violently press the vivid memories he had of a drunken Dan in the back of his head. After Phil achieved that, he slowly had to understand that Dan thinking that Phil was talking about himself when he was praising Dan meant that Dan thought all the things of Phil himself. It took Phil a while to figure this out.   
“I am not raising a child.” Was everything Phil came up with.   
“I wouldn’t say that!” Dan said and smiled.  
“Pardon?”  
“You practically helped me raise Frederick with your show!” Dan said now smiling genuinely. “He looks up to you, if you haven’t noticed already. He loves you. So thank you!” Dan added a little violently.   
“Thank you.” Phil said quietly. “That’s the nicest compliment I’ll ever receive.”  
“Don’t say that.” Dan said and blushed.   
“It is. I love that little boy! Of course that’s the greatest compliment anyone will ever be able to pay me.” Phil said and smiled with teary eyes. “Also, does this mean you don’t hate me when I hold Frederick?” Phil asked tentatively.   
“Why on earth would you think that?” Dan asked and stared at Phil.   
“It was just a notion.” Phil mumbled.  
“I could never hate you.” Dan said. They ate on in silence. Phil needed all his strength to stop himself from saying any unwanted crap that was threatening to leave his mouth. After they had finished eating, they cleaned up and talked about different television shows they liked. Phil always tried to leave “Goose to see you!” as quickly as possible whenever Dan brought it up, but Dan was sadly not buying that. When they had finished Phil went into the hallway to check his phone. There were no new texts or anything but Phil needed a few seconds away from Dan. Wearing his jumper made Phil constantly have Dan not only in his vision but also in his nose. It was obviously nice but a bit much after a while. As Phil was pretending to be busy in the hallway, he suddenly heard Frederick shouting in the living room: “Where is Phil? I want to read with him!”   
Phil smiled and hurried over into the living room. Dan had just started explaining where Phil was when he appeared. Frederick jumped up and ran to Phil, who picked him up and squeezed him tightly. Phil glanced over to Dan and saw that he was smiling brightly. A huge weight was lifted off Phil’s chest. He walked over to Dan and sat down close to him. He hadn’t meant for it to be this close, there was literally no space between them. Dan didn’t seem to mind terribly, and Frederick was having a great time sitting there with them.   
Sadly, even the greatest of days have to end at some point. Phil left reluctantly, and he hoped to be allowed to interpret Dan’s behaviour as tentatively as well. They hugged when Phil left and the temptation to simply push Dan against the wall and kiss him was big, as Frederick had fallen asleep on the sofa once again but Phil didn’t do it. He wouldn’t risk putting Dan into an uneasy situation for anything in the world.   
When Phil got home it was a decent enough time to go to sleep. He had thought he would be happy to have his bed back, turned out that he could hardly sleep because he missed Dan and Frederick’s steady breathing. Phil groaned and really tried not to think about what would have happened if he had kissed Dan. Easier said than done!


	19. 19th December - Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do excuse that I am late again! Please enjoy the chapter! Have a great day! <3

Dan’s POV

Dan woke up in his bed. He was not particularly unhappy about that at first but when he remembered how he had woken up the day before, this was surely a deterioration. However, as it hadn’t looked like Phil had been fond of Dan in that sense, Dan was not going to desperately wish the circumstances were different, at least not openly.   
Carla arrived early that day. She was hellishly curious of what they had done on Saturday. She nearly fainted when Dan told her that Phil had stayed the night and whole Sunday as well. “Don’t be like that! Nothing happened.” Dan groaned.  
“Nothing happened? Of what you have told me, you have practically confessed your love to him!” Carla said happily.  
“I have not?”  
“You have! Okay, well I can read you. That sadly doesn’t mean Phil can read you as well.” Carla admitted. “What else have you been doing then?”   
“Well Frederick wasn’t too well so we spent the day mainly sitting on the couch.”   
“Platonically.”  
“Stop it or I will never tell you anything ever again!” Dan warned her.   
“Okay, I’ll stop.” Carla said. However, the wicked smiled on her face stayed.  
“Carla, I think I might love him.” Dan admitted quietly after staring into his tea cup.   
“Dan, I think so too.” Carla answered. “You pop off to work and enjoy your time with the love of your life.” Carla wasn’t joking but Dan couldn’t even be mad at her because she was right, essentially. Phil might as well be the love of Dan’s life! It was obvious that if he should meet them they wouldn’t like Dan back but that was actually just about the story of Dan’s life. Dan got up and left.   
When Dan walked into the building he was almost happy to be back. Nothing was better than staying at home with Frederick obviously but going to work to potentially meet Phil wasn’t too bad either. Okay, the potentially was a bit of a lie, especially as Dan thought it the second he saw Phil. Phil was talking to someone, possibly about the show. He was enthusiastic and gesticulated wildly. Dan smiled and went to put his coat on the chair no one apart from him and Phil ever took any notice of. While he was fumbling with the scarf Carla had forced him to wear, Phil appeared at his side and smiled brightly.   
“Morning.” Dan said. “I hope you had a better night.”  
“Pardon?”  
“You slept on my floor! Anything must be more agreeable than that! You should have really said something.” Dan said.   
“You were sleeping, and I didn’t want to disturb you.”   
“But you had no problem getting my blanket.” Dan said and crossed his arms.  
“Well. No. You looked rather cold so…”  
“Phil, I’m messing with you.” Dan said and smiled. “Thank you for getting me that blanket. I forgot to thank you for it yesterday.”  
“You’re welcome.” Phil said.  
“Oh, so today you aren’t afraid to accept my thanks?” Dan asked and raised an eyebrow.   
“Stop it.” Phil said and shoved Dan’s shoulder. Dan was on the verge of saying “Make me.” But he hadn’t sunken that far yet.   
“I’m really looking forward to watching your show today with Frederick.” Dan said and smiled mischievously.   
“Didn’t I tell you to stop?” Phil asked and buried his head in his hands.  
“Maybe.” Dan said and laughed.   
“You are unbelievable.” Phil groaned.  
“You won’t believe what I am going to say next.”   
“What is this? Clickbait?”  
“Shut up.” Dan said, annoyed that Phil was actually funnier than him.   
“What were you going to say then?” Phil asked.   
“Do you want to come to ours later today?” Dan asked seriously with a blush.  
Phil smiled widely. “I think that’s the only clickbait that was ever agreeable.”  
“Agreeable?” Dan asked with a mocking smile.  
“The only one that made me happy.”  
“You’re cheesy.”  
“I hate cheese.”  
“You’re weird.”  
“Who cares if you’re a loser and everybody knows it?”  
“No one, after all this is a place where you can be yourself no matter if you’re geeky.”   
Phil groaned. “It’s not good to hint at something you wrote yourself when your biggest fan is standing in front of you.”   
“Second biggest. Frederick is at home.” Dan corrected Phil. Phil stared a little but then they both started laughing. “No offence but you really are a little weird.” Dan said.  
“So are you.” Phil said. He was called away to the meeting and afterwards before they could exchange some twenty words, to record his show. Dan was kept busy for the rest of the day. However, he got the chance to talk to Phil long enough to learn that he had talked about impressively organised families of three in today’s show. Dan was a little confused to be told the topic in that way but had no time to reply anything because Phil had to go into his office to write a column. Only on their way to Dan’s home, Dan found time to react to Phil’s topic of that day’s show.   
“Why didn’t you talk about Jesus’ story today?” Dan asked without introduction.   
“Pardon?” Phil asked and turned to him with a confused face.  
“In your show? As far as I am concerned you haven’t yet finished talking about Jesus.” Dan said.   
“You’re right. I wanted to keep that bit for the 23rd of December. The whole day will consist out of me telling the last missing pieces. Today I thought it was only right to appreciate all the effort that small families have to get through.” Phil explained. “Did you like it?” he asked.  
Dan was confused. “Not that I have already seen it or anything but I like the topic. I can’t relate but it’s a fair topic all the same.” Dan answered.   
“What do you mean you can’t relate?” Phil asked. “What about Emma?”   
Dan was too surprised to notice that Phil could not possibly know anything about Emma at all, at least he hadn’t told him anything in person. So instead of asking how Phil knew about her Dan said: “She left when Frederick was barely two weeks old, haven’t heard of her since.”   
“Oh.” Phil said quietly.   
“Being a single father isn’t as bad as it might seem.” Dan said quickly. “I love Frederick with all my heart and he is not a burden at all. I mean it’s exhausting sometimes but I wouldn’t change it for the world.”  
“Single father?”  
“Yes, that’s what you call men that have custody on their children without there being any other partner.” Dan said and rolled his eyes.  
“You and Frederick are a great team.” Phil said.  
“We are. The greatest team of Hobnobs ever to exist.” Dan said proudly.  
“Hobnobs?” Phil asked.   
“Carla named us that way. She said we looked like Hobbits in a way and she loved us even more than chocolate.” Dan said and laughed.   
“I understand her.” Phil said quietly and glanced tentatively over to Dan. Dan returned the smile eagerly. They walked on in silence. Dan unlocked the door. Just like he had done on Saturday, Frederick came running into the hallway.  
“Dad!” he shouted and jumped into Dan’s open arms!   
“How are you, darling?” Dan asked and kissed Frederick’s cheek. He was suddenly overwhelmed with all the nice people he knew. Tears started forming in his eyes. Dan handed Frederick over to Phil and hid in Carla’s shoulder.   
“Are you alright?” Phil asked carefully.   
“I am very happy you are all here.” Dan said and sniffed.  
“You big Hobnob.” Carla sighed.   
“Dad!” Frederick called and waved him over to him. Frederick clung onto Dan’s neck and pulled him closer to Phil. Phil quickly put a supporting hand around Dan. In a sense they were all hugging each other. “I love you, dad.” Frederick said. Now there was an actual tear rolling down Dan’s cheek. Phil gently pressed himself into Dan. Funnily enough that gesture calmed Dan down enough to happily exclaim: “Let’s all have some Maltesers!”   
“Sorry, Hobnob. Gotta go. I’ll be back tomorrow. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” The last thing Carla addressed to Frederick but looked at Dan meaningfully which made him want to strangle her a little bit.   
“See you.” Dan called and closed the door. “First one in the living room gets to choose the program.” Dan shouted when Phil put Frederick down. Frederick immediately darted off. Phil wanted to do the same but Dan quickly grabbed his wrist. “No chance, Phil. We are going to see your show, if you like it or not.” Dan said. Still holding onto his wrist Dan walked into the living room, it was just as easy to hold onto it as to let it go. Besides Dan only wanted Phil not to run away so that he could compare Phil’s actions on the television with those in real life. That was the only reason. The only one.   
Phil’s POV

Phil hadn’t expected to be back invited to the Howell household so soon. He was more than happy and had problems containing that happiness. Because of this unreasonable behaviour, Phil forced himself to talk about families of three on his show. With doing that he hoped to show himself how perfect Dan’s life was, in a sense that Phil had no business in trying to change it. What he didn’t expect was for Dan to tell him that he was a single father. Saying that Phil was surprised to be hearing that would be an understatement as he wasn’t able to think properly for several minutes. Dan told him that Emma had left them when Frederick was two weeks old. Phil was happy to be allowed to hate Emma. Who in their right mind could ever think of leaving Dan and Frederick? It was a little rude of him to be thankful that she had left them as Dan unquestionably had to suffer from that loss but Phil couldn’t help himself.   
While climbing the stairs to Dan’s apartment, they didn’t speak. Phil was still too busy trying to process everything he had heard. When Dan opened the door and Frederick came running towards them, Phil eventually concluded that he was the happiest he had ever been. A few moments later he had to correct that statement. When Dan handed Frederick over to him and Frederick voluntarily clung unto Phil, he was the happiest he had ever been. Dan was a little bit sentimental, or so it seemed. Frederick called him away from Carla and over to them. He hugged him which meant that Phil was hugging Dan as well in a way. Phil pressed himself into Dan a little, mainly because he couldn’t resist but also to calm him a little bit. It seemed to work because Dan stood a little taller and said: “Let’s all have some Maltesers!”   
“Sorry, Hobnob. Gotta go. I’ll be back tomorrow. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Carla said and was gone within an instant.   
“See you.” Dan called. Phil put Frederick down again and distanced himself a little from Dan. Touching him without consent wasn’t something he was keen to repeat. “First one in the living room gets to choose the program.” Dan said. Phil was about to go after Frederick but Dan got hold of his wrist. “No chance, Phil. We are going to see your show, if you like it or not.” He said in a low voice. A shiver ran down Phil’s spine. Phil wasn’t too keen to watch his show but there was no use in pretending that was why there were shivers. Dan’s voice was driving him mad.   
Dan was still holding onto his wrist when they walked into the living room. Phil blushed a little but Frederick didn’t even seem to notice.   
“Is it four yet?” Frederick asked.   
“Not quite.” Dan answered and pulled Phil onto the sofa next to him. “We have still time for a small story. Which one do you want?”   
Frederick quickly decided for one and Dan started reading. Phil tried to concentrate on anything but Dan’s knees bumping against his and his soft voice. Phil really tried but there was no way not to lean into Dan. But he was making him do it, wasn’t he? He wanted this, right? This was not Phil’s fantasy running wild, was it?   
After Dan had finished the story, Phil had to sit down on his hands to stop them from touching Dan. Phil smiled tensely when Frederick eagerly brought Dan the remotes. Dan looked cheekily at Phil and put on the show. They were just in time to see Phil waving the goose at the camera. Phil squirmed a little. Dan gently put his hand onto Phil’s knee, squeezing slightly. Phil gave his best not to squirm away. His first instinct was obviously to lean in but that scared him so he wanted to squirm away, which he now had to try hard not to do. Dan looked over to him and smiled reassuringly. Phil bit down on his lip and concentrated onto his face in the television.   
“Christmas is a very tense time for everyone! Especially for young families!” Phil in the television said. Frederick looked over to him excitedly and Phil felt really bad for literally only talking about families of three in his show up until he suddenly started speaking about a contact lens incident. Phil was known for jumping from topic to topic every now and then with segues only he ever really understood. Right now, he was listening to himself telling the story of how he had lost his contact lens on a train, only because he vaguely remembered a family sitting close to him. The story was funny though so Edward wasn’t too mad about Phil, also he was already used to him behaving in that way.   
Phil was no pretty concentrated on nothing but the show so he didn’t notice Dan taking his hand away. Only when the show was over, and Phil dared to start breathing again he noticed that not only Dan’s hand was no longer on his knee but also that Dan was sitting several inches away from him. Phil was confused but had no chance to react in any way because Frederick said: “I love the show.”   
“Thank you.” Phil said and smiled. Dan puffed contemptuously. Phil heart clenched hurtfully, and he looked over to him. “Pardon?”  
“No. It was a great show.” Dan said and smiled bitterly.   
“Thank you.” Phil answered confused.  
“Pity you had to lie.” Dan hissed.  
“Pardon?” Phil asked. “What is this about?” Phil asked and blushed. “I do admire families of three.”   
“Not that part.” Dan said and rolled his eyes.  
“The contact lens incident?” Phil asked and raised his eyes.   
“Bit inconvenient if you have no problems looking.”  
“Pardon? You do know that I am wearing contact lenses right now, don’t you? That I normally need to wear glasses if I lose them, like I did in my truthful story?” Phil asked, Dan wasn’t looking at him. “I know perfectly well that some people are unable to believe me because my weirdness freaks them out. I had hoped you would understand.” Phil was giving his best not to let his voice quiver.  
“I believe you.” Frederick piped up. He stood up from his seat and crawled unto Phil’s lab. “Embrace your weirdness!” Frederick said and smiled. Well, it sounded more like “Embrathe your weirdnesh.” But the effect was only even greater like this.   
“You are quite right.” Phil said with a smile. He pulled Frederick into his chest and pretended not to notice the tear rolling down his cheek. Frederick was too precious for this world. Phil held onto Frederick tightly for a few minutes. Frederick told him once again how he had faced his fear of squirrels. It had the wanted effect. Phil stopped crying and was able to laugh about Frederick’s comforting behaviour. That boy had more sense than the majority of people Phil knew.   
“I think I have to go.” Phil said after a good while.   
“Already?” Dan and Frederick asked at the same time.  
“I’m afraid so.” Phil said and got up. Not yet letting go of Frederick, after all this all seemed quite like this was his last visit for a very long while. Only when Phil had to put his jacket on, he let go of Frederick.   
“Oh, I still have your coat.” Dan said and handed it over to him. Phil smiled forcedly and quickly said goodbye. This settled everything then. Dan couldn’t trust him and wanted him not to come back so very soon. Why else would he have given him the coat back? Phil sighed and didn’t stop until he was in his bed, cuddled beneath the blankets with the ‘amazing’ knowledge that not any relations of Dan’s had destroyed his hoped but simply Phil with being himself, like he had always predicted.


	20. 20th December - Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! Enjoy! <3

Dan’s POV

What had the evening yesterday been about? Why had it have to be Frederick to show Phil how they really cared for him? Why couldn’t Dan be half the man Frederick was and apologise for everything he had said? Dan sighed. It was stupid for him not to notice that Phil was wearing contact lenses. Even worse was to doubt the fact when Phil himself told him about it. It was only that it had been the first thing Dan could doubt and stupid as he was, he immediately did so. Dan banged his head against the headboard, hissed at the pain and got up. He had to face his duty and go to Phil and apologize. Losing him now would be worse than any humiliation possibly could be.   
Carla arrived on time and didn’t ask any questions. She probably saw everything she needed to know in Dan’s face. So instead of talking she waited for Dan to wake Frederick up and then took him out with her to have a fun day out. Frederick was thrilled, he hadn’t been outside for a long time, due to his illness, and a day with Carl was always in favour with him. Dan was happy that Frederick enjoyed himself and set off shortly after them to go to work.   
He had hoped to see Phil somewhere, like he was used to but no matter with how little concentration he worked, Phil was not to be seen. Dan had the uneasy feeling that Phil was avoiding him. Dan spent his break alone on the uncomfortable chairs and was forced to recollect how he had ended up in that chair, well more like, how he had ended up in this specific situation. Probably the feelings he had always had for Phil and he was unable to supress forced him into this hell of a situation. Okay, Dan had not always had feelings for Phil. Soon after he had started watching the show with Frederick he had developed a crush on Phil, obviously, like, who couldn’t? However, he had tried to deny it as long as possible, just like he had done now. He had tried to supress the thought that he had proper feelings for Phil until not even a blind man couldn’t not see them. Now, however, it seemed too late to arrange anything in Dan’s favour. Dan groaned and closed his eyes, sipping his coffee.   
Eventually Dan got out his phone to check how Carla was doing. He normally didn’t try to control her in the slightest but it just so happened that Frederick had been quite ill the past few days and that Dan was unbelievably curious oh and in the need of a distraction.   
“How are you lot?” Dan wrote.   
“Fine. Enjoying ourselves and only ever thinking of you every five minutes.” Carla answered quickly.   
“That’s how it should be.” Dan answered. “Where are you?”   
“Outside.”  
“Funny.”   
“In Frederick’s park. I don’t know what it’s called in real life. We have only ever called it Frederick’s park, haven’t we?” Carla wrote. Dan smiled and was suddenly emotional. Carla was the best thing that had happened to him next to his family and Frederick of course.   
“How is Frederick?” Dan asked.  
“Okay. He keeps sniffing and mumbling something. Anything I could do?” Carla asked. Dan was a little alarmed. Frederick really ought to be feeling better again. He was about to answer Carla when suddenly his screen went black.   
“Bugger.” Dan mumbled and tried to aluminate the screen again, with the result that his phone angrily told him that it was out of battery. What use was a phone when its owner was too dumb to recharge it every now and then?   
Dan sighed and got up. It was best to contact Carla. She would probably be panicking a bit right now. Not because Frederick was slightly sick, but because Dan wasn’t panicking. Dan looked around the room and concluded that he might as well go over to Phil’s office and ask him if he could use his phone. Phil did not hate him, not entirely.   
Dan walked over to the office room and knocked on the door frame, the door itself was open. Luckily Phil looked up before Dan could imagine Phil with Frederick on the floor, like he had seen them on Frederick’s first time visiting Dan at work.   
“Yes?” Phil asked while looking up. “Dan.” He stated, not entirely mad but not entirely friendly either.   
“Yes. Hello. Could I perhaps use your phone?” Dan asked.   
“My phone?”  
“Yes. Mine is empty and Carla needs to be updated on what to do with Frederick.” Dan explained.  
“You don’t normally write her instructions, do you?” Phil asked and raised an eyebrow.  
“No. But she might be panicking because I am not panicking. You know, my phone died before I could answer her text about Frederick’s well-being. If I don’t answer her she might panic and think about what possibly might have happened to me.” Dan explained.   
“I see.” Phil said and got out his phone. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you explain.” He added. “I believe you.” With these words he handed the phone over to Dan. Dan took it and tried to find a segue into his own apology.   
“I believe you, too.” Dan said and quickly unlocked the phone. Phil did not have a code so he immediately opened the messenger program.   
“Do you?” Phil asked, and it hurt Dan tremendously to hear him so surprised.   
“I do. You know. I think you were right. I have a hard time trusting most people. I have made some bad experiences but after I had my time I learn to trust people.” Dan said. “Oh.” He had accidentally opened the chat with his own name on it.   
“Thank you.” Phil said and sounded honest.   
“What is this?” Dan asked confusedly. There were more messages in their chat on Phil’s phone than there were on his own. Dan scrolled up and started reading.   
“See it was best that you would go home!” “Could you do me a favour?”  
“Anything.”   
“Before you get home please delete every message we have exchanged.”  
“Why?”  
“Trust me. It’s better for everyone.”   
“Okay. I will delete them now, otherwise I’ll forget.”  
“Thank you. Every. Single. One.”   
“Good night, Phil. I’m home.”  
Only the very last one was to be found on Dan’s phone as well. “What is this?” Dan asked again with a trembling voice.  
“Pardon?” Phil asked innocently. Yes, that suited him. Lying to Dan for days and then pretend he knew nothing about anything. Dan was mad.   
“I don’t need your phone, liar.” Dan said and dramatically stormed out of Phil’s office. Without thinking he ran towards the door and ignored Phil’s calls. If Dan would have been less angry he might have been able to laugh about his own behaviour. Right now, there was no way Dan could think of ever smiling again. Dan had just owned up to Phil that he did trust him and what did he do? Indirectly show Dan that it had been best not to trust him all along. Dan was mad, too mad to notice that he was wearing nothing but a shirt. Too mad to take the tube. He was angrily stomping all the way to his home. Mad as he was it was a wonder that he didn’t start screaming when he saw no one else than Phil standing in front of the door, holding Dan’s jacket.   
“What do you want here?” Dan spit.  
“Explain.” Phil said calmly. His eyes were big, and he looked incredibly cute and innocent. Dan hated him for that. “Also, you forgot your keys.” Phil added. Dan glared at him and crossed his arms over his chest.   
“I’m waiting.”  
“What for?”  
“For you ‘explanation’.” Dan hissed. Attack was the best defence, right? 

 

Phil’s POV

The resolution not to talk to Dan perhaps wasn’t the most mature option but Phil saw no other option. He needed to distance himself to be able to gently introduce himself to the idea that he had ruined everything. It would hurt tremendously no matter how ‘gently’ Phil was going to be about it but having Dan around while trying to ease himself into the truth wouldn’t help.   
Phil spent the majority of his morning in his office. The meeting had gone well. He had proposed to do a similar show like he had done the day before, where he would be talking about single parents, or different kinds of family constellations. Edward was happy about the proposition but told him to craft some stars today and do the talking bit the next day. Phil was fine with that and zoned out for the rest of the meeting. When he was sitting in his office he was both proud and sad that he not seen anything of Dan that day. Phil started working on tomorrow’s show. After working for a good time Phil heard a knock on the door.   
“Yes?” Phil asked. “Dan.” He said and was right doing so, it was after all Dan who was standing there in his doorframe.   
“Yes. Hello. Could I perhaps use your phone?” Dan asked timidly.   
“My phone?” Phil asked back.   
“Yes. Mine is empty and Carla needs to be updated on what to do with Frederick.” Dan answered.  
“You don’t normally write her instructions, do you?” Phil asked, he did not know why he was interrogating Dan. Perhaps he thought that after Dan had not believed him the day before he now had a right to ask stupid questions as well.   
“No. But she might be panicking because I am not panicking. You know, my phone died before I could answer her text about Frederick’s well-being. If I don’t answer her she might panic and think about what possibly might have happened to me.” Dan explained hurriedly.   
“I see.” Phil said and fumbled for his phone. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you explain.” he added. “I believe you.” After all, Phil did trust Dan entirely, Dan did not trust him!   
Phil gave Dan the phone who said quietly, without looking at Phil: “I believe you, too.” That was news to Phil.   
“Do you?” Phil blurred out.   
“I do. You know. I think you were right. I have a hard time trusting most people. I have made some bad experiences but after I had my time I learn to trust people.” Dan said. Phil’s heart was about to swell to the size of a football. Wait, that isn’t scientifically possible. “Oh.” Dan said suddenly.   
“Thank you.” Phil said nevertheless, not knowing what Dan was doing, probably pressing a few wrong buttons, like everyone did.   
“What is this?” Dan asked. Phil bent his neck and saw that Dan was scrolling through a conversation. Judging from his reaction, Dan was reading their chat. “What is this?” Dan asked again.   
“Pardon?” Phil asked hoping that Dan perhaps hadn’t opened their conversation. Phil, unlike Dan, hadn’t deleted their chat. He had looked at it rather regularly because he was a stupid person and did stuff like that.  
“I don’t need your phone, liar.” Dan shouted and ran away. Phil followed him and called after him but Dan was not looking behind him. Phil buried his head in his hands. Why did stuff like this always happen to him? Hadn’t Dan been on the verge of actually trusting Phil? What impression must he have of Phil right now?  
Phil groaned. He looked over to the two chairs and saw that there was Dan’s jacket. As he went over and picked it up he noticed that Dan’s keys were still inside the pocket. Phil called over to someone that he would be back as soon as possible and ran out of the building. Dan was nowhere to be seen. Luckily Phil knew where he lived. He took the tube and was surprised not to find Dan in front of his door. Phil contemplated whether he should just leave with the jacket hanging on the door knob.   
“What do you want here?” Dan spit suddenly. Phil looked at him, he hadn’t noticed that he had come the stairs.   
“Explain.” Phil said carefully. He was a little scared of Dan. “Also, you forgot your keys.” he added.   
“I’m waiting.” Dan said with crossed arms.   
“What for?” Phil asked, not quite following.   
“For you ‘explanation’.” Dan spat. It was quite clear that he was not willing to be convinced of anything. Phil took a deep breath and pretended not to be intimidated by Dan.   
“I don’t have much time.” Phil started  
“Use it well then.” Dan said and leaned against the wall. He was wearing nothing but a shirt and his voice sounded a little hoarse. Also, his skin looked weirdly white and blue. He was however not shivering. Phil would have loved to put his arms around Dan and warm him up but doing that right now was playing with his life.   
“Okay. Do you promise me not to interrupt?” Phil asked carefully.  
“Just start!” Dan shouted but he did not seem too mad any longer.   
“Okay. I assume you have read our conversation on my phone.” Phil said.  
“You want me to speak now?” Dan asked. Phil nodded. “Yes, I read a bit. I read enough to know that you are lying to me and enough to remember other bits.” Dan blushed a little.  
“I am not lying. I was hiding the truth so that you wouldn’t get into trouble.”  
“Wha…”  
“Don’t interrupt please.” Phil begged and continued: “I made you delete your texts because you never gave me any notion that there wasn’t a mother in Frederick’s life. First of all, I thought you were making fun of me, maybe that wouldn’t be too bad then, I thought but eventually I realised that it would have been bad enough already. What if Frederick’s mother was to think you were cheating on her? No. I couldn’t risk your and Frederick’s happiness. I made you delete the texts and as you did not seem to remember them the next day I happily didn’t speak about them, knowing you didn’t mean anything.” Phil ended quietly. Dan was staring at him in disbelief. “I could let you read the whole conversation to show you my point…”  
“There is no need, I think I remember.” Dan mumbled.   
“So…”  
“You were wrong. Leave.” Dan said, grabbed the keys and walked into his home, closing the door before Phil could react.   
“Where have I been wrong?” Phil called through the door.  
“I did mean everything.” Dan called, and Phil heard him quickly walk through the apartment. Phil stood a few minutes in front of the door, not able to conclude what this meant. If Dan remembered everything and if he meant when he said he had been telling the truth, did that mean that Dan loved him? No, Dan had said he had meant it, meaning his feelings had now changed. Except perhaps his feelings were still the same. But that was a lot more luck than Phil had ever had in his entire life.   
Phil was thunderstruck and walked dazed back to the tube station and into Bloomshill productions. He did not dare to try to riddle everything out in detail. He had to try to forget everything for now and get on with the show, not letting anyone assume anything. He would keep the trouble he felt inside a secret for now. He had managed quite well for the whole time he knew Dan, so he might as well continue for a little while longer.


	21. 21st December - Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops. A little late! I hope you enjoy anyways! Have a lovely Thursday! :)

Dan’s POV

Running home late in December with nothing but a shirt turned out to be one of the worst ideas Dan had ever had. When Carla came back home in the evening, she found a shivering Dan, wrapped in a blanket a bonnet on his head.   
“Are you alright?” she had asked. Dan had shaken his head and started crying. Carla’s eyes had widened. She quickly took Frederick’s hand and put him to bed. Dan cried his eyes out but was able to properly speak to Carla when she came back. He told her everything, from how he had asked for Phil’s phone, how he had found out, how he had run home nearly naked and how Phil had explained himself. Dan had obviously long forgiven him everything, but he couldn’t quite forgive himself.  
“What if I ruined my chances for ever simply because I drunkenly texted him, telling the truth but making him think it was a joke?” Dan had wailed.   
“Stop this immediately.” Carla had said sternly. “I am frankly quite sick of your constant ‘what if’s. I do not think you could ruin anything! Phil is absolutely smitten, and so are you. It’s about time you two realise and make up for the time you lost!”   
“But what if…”  
“Dan, stop it.” Carla had said.   
“You being serious?”  
“Yes. Please believe me that I would never make a joke when you are under similar conditions.” Carla had answered gently.  
“Thank you.” Dan had said, and Carla had smiled. “Carla?”  
“Yes?”  
“I think I might need help taking a bath. I can’t really feel any parts of my body.”   
“No wonder you scatterbrain.” Carla had rolled her eyes and quickly helped Dan up, into the bathroom and take a hot bath. Dan was dangerously cold, and she hurried to get him into bed. Dan was too quickly asleep to hear her leave but when he woke up the next morning he was all alone so she must have left at some point. Dan was still really cold when he woke up and quickly got himself a jumper out of his wardrobe.   
Dan walked into the living room and saw that there was a sheet on the coffee table. He walked closer and saw that Carla had written him a message:   
“Hello Hobnob. If it’s Frederick reading this, give this sheet to your father. Wait, Frederick can’t read. Hello big Hobnob! I have charged your phone in the kitchen and the heaters are all working splendidly. I will be back at around eight but out of fear that you would be up before that because your alarm clock somehow woke you up, I decided to write this message to tell you: Don’t you think of going to work today! You are freaking sick and I will come and collect you if you dare to set a toe out of the door. I stole a spare key so get back into your bed and wait for my beautiful face to tell you what to do next. Oh, before you do get back into bed I allow you to tell Phil (VIA TEXT!) that you won’t be coming to work. Love you, Carla.”   
Dan laughed as he read the note. He quickly started coughing though so he decided to follow Carla’s advice, or rather instructions. Dan collected his phone from the kitchen and got back into bed. He needed a bit of time to decide on what to write to Phil. In the end he wrote: “Hello, it’s Dan. I won’t be coming to work today. I am sick, and Carla forbids me to come. I am sorry.” Dan hoped that the text was vague and yet precise enough for Phil to understand what he wanted to say.   
After sending the text, Dan closed his eyes and only opened them again when Carla shook him awake. He hadn’t noticed that he had fallen asleep again. “Yes?” Dan asked and tried to sit up.  
“Nope. You stay there. I was only checking you were still alive. I see you read my message?” Carla asked.  
“Yes, I read the disaster of a message you left for me.” Dan said and smiled.   
“It doesn’t matter if it was professionally or lousily done. It’s only important that you listen to me.” Carla said and started laughing at Dan’s face. “I’ll stay here today and take care of you.”   
“Is that a threat?”  
“Could it be anything else?” Carla asked and pressed a kiss to Dan’s forehead. “And now you shut your eyes again. I’ll be back with tea in a second.”   
Dan nodded but opened his eyes again when Carla left the room to check if he had a new text. Indeed, Phil had already answered him: “Thank you for letting me know. Don’t be. Get well soon.” Dan started smiling like a moron and couldn’t stop even when Carla came back.   
“I told you to keep your eyes shut!”  
“They are shut!”  
“Now!” Carla shouted exhaustedly. “What does Phil say then?” she asked and sat down next to Dan.   
“Pardon?”  
“You can’t fool me, Hobnob.” Carla said and laughed.   
“He wishes me well.” Dan mumbled and focused entirely on the tea.   
“Don’t mess this up and you can be as secretive as you want to be about it, for now.” Carla said and ruffled through Dan’s hair.   
“Why, thank you.” Dan said sarcastically.   
“Idiot.”  
“Love you.”  
“You better, I am going to do your laundry now.” Carla announced.   
“You are just like my mom.”  
“Thanks.”  
“No, literally. She did the laundry too last time she was here.”  
“Time you get your life back together.” Carla said and got up.   
“Sure thing.” Dan called after her, well he croaked rather. He got his phone out from underneath the blankets and hesitatingly typed an answer for Phil. “I’ll give my best. Thanks for understanding.” After sending the text he tossed the phone away and cuddled into the sheets. He was going to make the most of this free day, well the most you could do with a sore throat. Luckily his nose wasn’t running he hated to have a puffy nose, that was the worst thing ever.   
Dan did spend the rest of his day in the bed. He only left once to watch Phil’s show, which brought tears into his eyes. Phil spoke about single parents. Dan knew he was essentially speaking about Frederick and himself so every praise Phil uttered made Dan’s heart swell.   
“Carl! Phil is talking about us!” Frederick called and danced in front of the television. Carla got her phone out and recorded the dancing Hobnob.   
After the show was over, and Dan had dried his tears, he went back into his bedroom. Frederick came with him and they read a story together. Afterwards Carla brought in food and they had a picnic on Dan’s bed. When it was time to leave for Carla Dan seriously thanked her for everything she had done for them. Carla smiled brightly and equally seriously answered that she would do just about everything for them, if they wanted her to.   
When Dan and Frederick were all alone, Frederick suddenly saw Dan’s phone lying on Dan’s bed side table.  
“Dad! Can we call Phil?” Frederick asked eagerly.  
“Now? Isn’t it a bit late?” Dan asked, it probably wasn’t late for Phil but it was for Frederick.   
“Not long. We’ll only wish him a good night.” Frederick answered quickly.   
“Do you really want to call him?” Dan asked and frowned.  
“Yes please.” Frederick said with a big smile, as if Dan would ever be able to say no to that. 

 

Phil’s POV

Phil had the worst time not knowing what exactly he was allowed to think Dan felt for him. The evening was torture and the morning was little better. Just when Phil was setting out for work he received a text: “Hello, it’s Dan. I won’t be coming to work today. I am sick, and Carla forbids me to come. I am sorry.”   
Phil frowned at first but when he read the text again he started smiling. Dan did not hate him. He apologized, possibly only for not coming but maybe he also apologized for yesterday. If that was the case… Phil quickly typed an answer before he got underground: “Thank you for letting me know. Don’t be. Get well soon.”   
After sending that text, it took quite a while to hear from Dan again. Phil didn’t think too long about that, after all Dan was sick and he probably needed some proper sleep. When Phil did hear from Dan again, his text said: “I’ll give my best. Thanks for understanding.”   
Phil started smiling like an idiot. He had just come out of recording the show. He had talked about single parents, just like he had agreed with Edward. Edward was happy about the result and so was Phil. He really hoped Dan would be too. After all it was kind of all for him. Phil went to his apartment relatively soon afterwards. There was a column for him to write but without Dan in the building he might as well go to his apartment and write it there. When Phil reached home, after stopping on his way to get himself a pizza, he settled down in the living room and ate the pizza in silence. When he had finished he grabbed his computer, put on some music and started typing. It took him long to find the right words. Well, the words actually flowed quite nicely once Phil was able to concentrate but one surely wouldn’t blame Phil for not concentrating. There was a lot he had not dared to think about for a long time which all came back now. Phil was obviously distracted by Dan and Frederick. First of all, only because he thought about the possibility that Dan could grow to like him again. When Phil concluded that it would be best just to wait and see, he started thinking about Dan. Just Dan and why he loved him. This was actually even worse than thinking about possible feelings Dan had for him because it meant that Phil’s inner cinema was working at high speed. Delivering the most beautiful and bewitching images. Just imagining Dan next to his side made his heart beat quicken and Phil seriously thought about just driving over to Dan to see how he did. He did not dare to do so in the end and started writing his column properly, at least until his mother called.  
“Quite an evolution, wouldn’t you say?”  
“Normal mothers greet their children when they call them.”   
“Normal sons wouldn’t pick up at the speed you do.” Phil’s mum retorted.   
“Normalness leads to sadness.”   
“You don’t seem sad.”  
“I’m not normal.”  
“That’s not it. What about the lucky one we spoke about last time I called?” she asked.   
“Well, he is not entirely lucky yet… That sounds wrong. I meant to say that I have no idea if it’s going to work out.”  
“But you are not as pessimistic about it as you were.” His mother said.  
“Why did you call when you know everything already?” Phil asked and laughed.  
“To say goodbye. Your dad and I are leaving England today.”  
“You are sounding far too dramatic.” Phil smiled.   
“It did sound a tad dramatic, didn’t it?” she asked and laughed as well. They talked on for quite a while until Phil’s father interrupted them and called his wife to come to the airport if she didn’t fancy spending Christmas all alone.  
“Any news on that front?”   
“Nope. I won’t be miserable though. You enjoy your time without worrying about me.” Phil said and faked a smile. His mother could sense if he was smiling or not.  
“Alright.” His mother said reluctantly. “Take care! We love you.”  
“I love you too.” Phil answered and hung up. Now the flat seemed even more quiet than it had before. “Let’s get this party rolling.” Phil said to himself and started typing his column. He was finished relatively soon. It was one of the shortest columns he had ever written but there was nothing he could do about it now. Phil closed the computer and closed his eyes.  
Phil’s imagination has never been terrible but it was frightening how realistic the images were of Dan lying in Phil’s lab. It was dangerous, and Phil was really happy to be all alone.   
After allowing his mind to run wild for several minutes, Phil was pulled out of the imaginary world by his ringing phone. He grabbed it with a sigh without looking at the person who called him, it would surely be his mother who would tell him that they were about to set off.   
“Phil?” It was unmistakably Dan that talked to him.  
“Dan?” Phil asked and sat up bolt right. “How are you?” he asked gently.  
“I am not my best.” Dan said. “I called because Frederick wants to make sure you’re fine.” Dan added quickly. Phil smiled, Dan didn’t want to call him but having Frederick wanting to call him was a good enough compensation.   
“I am fine.” Phil said.   
“He says he is fine.” Dan said to Frederick. “Can I hear him?” Frederick asked. “Alright.” Dan said and pressed a button.   
“Phil?” Frederick asked.  
“Yes, Frederick?” Phil asked.  
“How are you?”  
“I am perfectly fine. And yourself?” Phil asked.   
“I am fine but dad is not too well.” Frederick said. “He is sick.”  
“Oh dear. Is he really? I hope you are taking great care of him!” Phil said and giggled quietly.   
“Of course.” Frederick answered. “Dad? When will you tell Phil that we love him?”   
“Pardon?” Dan asked. “Oh. Right. Phil and I, we love you dearly, Frederick.” Dan said hurriedly.   
“That’s true.” Phil added, not wanting Dan to feel uneasy.   
“Phil?” Dan was once again holding the speaker.   
“Yes?”  
“I think we should go to sleep now.” Dan said quietly. “I won’t be coming tomorrow.”   
“I wouldn’t want you to.” Phil said. “I mean. You sound a little ill and I wouldn’t have you come to work to possibly make you feel worse.” Phil explained quickly.  
“I believe you.” Dan said and laughed quietly. “We’re sleeping now, say good night to Phil!” Dan called. “Good night!” Frederick called.  
“Good night, Frederick. Get well soon, Dan.” Phil said and ended the call. Was it a good thing that Frederick thought that Dan loved Phil? Or was it a burden for Dan? “You decided to wait for things to happen!” Phil scolded and got up. He changed quickly and fell into his bed. If he wasn’t going to feel entirely different tomorrow, he would go and visit Dan tomorrow. Perhaps test the waters, by all means, look how he did.


	22. 22nd December - Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was at a concert last night. That's why I am so late. Awfully sorry! Please enjoy anyways! <3 :)

Dan’s POV

Dan woke up because someone was kicking his stomach. That someone was Frederick, obviously. He was lying spread out on the bed, stealing a lot of place but Dan wouldn’t complain, he was far too happy to be able to wake up like this once again. No matter how bad it had been not to be working, being able to wake up to know he was spending the whole day with Frederick, had always been a great favour of Dan’s. But no matter how nice it had been, Dan wouldn’t want to change his current situation back. Working was a nice distraction and he was still seeing quite a lot of Frederick as it was. Dan stretched and got up. He looked on his phone. Carla had written to him that there was once again an emergency at her work and that she wouldn’t be coming, being faithful that Dan was well enough to take care of himself. Dan thanked her for the disaster of a text and went into the kitchen to make himself a tea and to take some medicine. With the tea in hand Dan went back into his room and lay down as good as he could with Frederick still stealing any possible place and his tea in hand. Dan slowly drank his tea and let the medicine have effect on his body. Afterwards, he snuggled back into the sheets. He was feeling deliciously tried again due to the painkillers. Dan pulled Frederick against his chest and moved into the middle of the big bed to avoid possible accidents.   
A few hours later, Dan woke up once again. Now, he was feeling relatively healthy again. Also, he was hungry. Dan gently shook Frederick awake and waited for him to focus on his face.   
“Do you have any idea what we are going to do today?” Dan asked.  
“No.” Frederick answered excitedly.   
“How about we decorate our home?” Dan asked.  
“With a Christmas tree?” Frederick asked, and his eyes widened.   
“Exactly! And fairy lights and candles!” Dan added. “First we’ll eat something though. You cannot work hard with an empty stomach.”   
“Good. I am hungry.” Frederick admitted. “Can we have porridge?”  
“Sure. I hated porridge when I was younger.” Dan said and got up.  
“Did you?” Frederick asked and slid down the bed.   
“I did. I always thought mum had hid medicine inside.” Dan said. “I don’t like medicine.”  
“I don’t too.”  
“Neither do I.” Dan corrected him and gently pushed him towards the kitchen. They quickly made themselves some porridge and enjoyed the calm atmosphere. Well, Dan enjoyed it, he couldn’t really tell if Frederick was enjoying the silence as well or if he was too deep in thought to notice anything.   
“Finished?” Dan asked and pulled Frederick back into reality.   
“Yes. Can we start now?” Frederick asked.  
“Sure thing. I will get the Christmas tree and you can get the boxes from underneath my bed with the ornaments.”   
“Can I choose the baubles?” Frederick asked.  
“Of course you can.” Dan said, and they set to work accordingly. Dan started putting the fake Christmas tree together and together with Frederick he wrapped several fairy lights around it and decorated it with baubles.   
“It’s pretty.” Frederick said.   
“Do you want to sit down, and I get a few candles?” Dan asked kindly.  
“Yes.” Frederick said and ran towards the sofa and started playing with cars and dolls at the same time. “What will I be getting for Christmas?” Frederick asked at one point.  
“Frederick! You can’t just ask! Even if you don’t believe in Father Christmas in that sense you still need not think you can know what you will get before Christmas Morning has come.” Dan said, a little embarrassed because he did not yet have anything for Frederick really. First of all, money was still tight and then he had had no time to go and buy something. He really should have thought about that.   
“How about we have some chocolate fondue when I have finished here?” Dan asked.   
“What is a chocolate fondle?” Frederick asked.  
“It’s melted chocolate and we are going to dip fruit inside.” Dan explained.   
“Yes! Can we eat here?” Frederick asked. Dan raised an eyebrow, after all, Frederick was sitting on the floor.  
“On the floor?”  
“We could get your bed.”   
“My mattress?” Dan asked and laughed.  
“Yes.” Frederick said and nodded eagerly.   
“Okay.” Dan said and after he had finished with one last chain of lights for underneath the television he pushed the coffee table away and went to get his mattress. Mattresses are a lot heavier than they look but somehow he managed, with great effort.   
“How do we melt chocolate?” Frederick asked after he had jumped onto the mattress.   
“We’re going to get a candle and a bowl.” Dan said, not in the mood to explain that there were special chocolate fondue devices. Dan went into the kitchen grabbed the fruit basket, chocolate and the chocolate fondue. He returned and placed it onto the coffee table. The chocolate melted quickly enough. And they soon started eating their first fruits.   
“Do you want to try some banana with chocolate?” Dan asked and fed Frederick.  
“Do you want to try some apple with chocolate?” Frederick asked. Dan nodded. Frederick missed his mouth slightly but Dan didn’t care. They were alone after all.   
After eating for a while, they suddenly heard the doorbell ring. “Just sit back and don’t touch the melted chocolate until I am back.” Dan said and stood up.   
“Okay.” Frederick said and munched on his chocolate coated banana.   
Dan smiled and opened the door. “Phil!” He called out surprised. “What are you doing here?” Dan asked and laughed.   
“Can I come in?” Phil asked quietly.  
“Yes, sure.” Dan said and stepped back with a red head.   
“I came to see how you are.” Phil said and smiled carefully.  
“I am almost back to perfectly fine.” Dan said. “Please make yourself comfortable.” Dan said with a loudly beating heart.   
“Dan?” Phil asked. Dan looked up. “It’s just, you have a bit of chocolate on your cheek.” Phil said and blushed. He gently wiped the chocolate away with his thumb and Dan already nearly saw himself being kissed when Frederick came running into the hallway.  
“Phil!” Frederick shouted. “You can have some of my chocolate!”   
“Thank you!” Phil said and laughed.   
“Come on!” Frederick urged. Dan and Phil followed him into the living room.  
“Wow, this looks really cosy.” Phil said and looked around. “Is that your mattress?” he asked.  
“Yes. We wanted to make it extra cosy.” Dan said. “Sit down.” He added as he let himself fall down onto his mattress. Phil sat down. He seemed to enjoy himself and be uneasy at the same time. A special talent of his, apparently.   
“Do you want a banana or a grape?” Frederick asked and curiously looked at Phil.  
“A grape. Thank you.” Phil said and relaxed a bit.   
“Thanks for coming around.” Dan said. “We already missed you.” He added, because fuck it.   
“Dad! A banana!” Frederick said and stuffed something in Dan’s mouth.  
“Fanks.” Dan said and started laughing.   
Phil sat up and coated a grape with chocolate. “Grape?” he asked Dan. Dan swallowed the banana quickly and nodded. Phil fed him and smiled affectionately while doing so. Dan was blushing but he was enjoying the situation enormously nevertheless.  
They continued eating and occasionally feeding each other until Frederick called out: “Dad? How late is it?”   
“Oh, nearly four o’clock.” Dan answered. He grabbed the remotes and quickly put the television on. He was the only one of the three facing the television with his back. He looked around to look for a place where he could sit comfortably.   
“You can lean onto me, if you want.” Phil proposed.   
“Okay. Thank you.” Dan said and blushed. After a few minutes he was practically already lying in Phil’s lab. It was really comfortable, and he really didn’t want to move but after they had finished watching today’s show Frederick made Dan get up to show Phil the video they had made the day before.   
“The video?” Phil asked.  
“You’ll see.” Dan said and ran away to get his phone. When he came back Frederick was lying in Phil’s lab, it looked cute so the jealousy quickly wore off. 

 

Phil’s POV

The next morning Phil was still determined to visit Dan after work. He was pretty desperate to see him again and after waiting a day he couldn’t find a reason why it would be improper to visit him. Okay, he didn’t really look long but there was nothing on top of his head contradicting his plans and that was more than good enough for Phil.   
When Phil got to work he decided work as hard and concentrated as possible. Because time would pass more easily like that. Sadly, when the meeting started Phil already saw himself incapable of keeping that promise, meetings were usually boring. However, today they started on a topic that immediately caught his attention.   
“Without further ado, let’s start.” Edward said. Phil was almost drifting off because he always started like that. “Dan Howell.” Edward said, and Phil immediately paid attention. “He is sick today as well I presume.”   
“He is.” Phil said quickly.   
“Oh okay. Good to know. Well I have been thinking about his employment. He is a useful help for us all and I think we should definitely think about continuing to employ him after Christmas. Perhaps as a different kind of employee though. Someone with a proper desk. Any objections?”   
No one spoke up and Phil was amazed with how little words Dan’s future was secured. After they spoke about Dan, Phil introduced his draft for today’s show. He would finish with the first part of the last remaining details about Christmas. On Friday he would conclude it all and on Saturday he would speak about his Christmas morning and look at pictures.   
After the meeting was over, Phil spend a bit of time in his office. Then he recorded the show and then he went back into the office. He pretended long enough to work to have Edward come around and sent him home. Phil happily obliged and set out to visit Dan. When he was at the bottom of the stairs leading to Dan’s apartment he wondered if he had done the right thing in coming here.   
Phil rang the doorbell and waited patiently for Dan to arrive.   
“Phil! What are you doing here?” Dan asked and laughed.   
“Can I come in?” Phil asked. He was relieved that Dan wasn’t angry with him for showing up uninvited.   
“Yes, sure.” Dan said and welcomed him inside.   
“I came to see how you are.” Phil explained.  
“I am almost back to perfectly fine. Please make yourself comfortable.” Phil took off his jacket at looked at Dan. He was still not looking like he was mad at Phil for appearing. There was another thing Phil noticed, Dan had a little bit of chocolate of chocolate. Phil pointed it out to Dan and gently wiped the chocolate away with his thumb. Dan had closed his eyes. It almost looked like an invitation to kiss him but Phil had not time to gather his courage because Frederick suddenly appeared in the hallway. It was actually pretty fortunate that Frederick had arrived, after all something that looked like an invitation did not have to be one, like this Phil was definitely safe and was spared to feel sorry.   
“Phil!” Frederick shouted. “You can have some of my chocolate!”   
“Thank you!” Phil said and laughed, trying to shake off the anticipation.   
“Come on!” Frederick urged. Phil followed Dan and Frederick into the living room.  
“Wow, this looks really cosy.” Phil was honestly amazed. “Is that your mattress?” he asked. There was a mattress lying in front of the television, next to the coffee table.   
“Yes. We wanted to make it extra cosy. Sit down.” Dan said and sat down. Phil copied him, still not entirely anticipation free.   
“Do you want a banana or a grape?” Frederick asked Phil.  
“A grape. Thank you.” Phil said, feeling a lot more at ease already.   
“Thanks for coming around. We already missed you.” Dan said. What a way to make Phil lose control over his body. Phil nearly said something in return but Frederick was quicker.   
“Dad! A banana!” Frederick shouted and stuffed Dan’s mouth.  
“Fanks.” Dan said and started laughing.   
Phil started smiling widely and prepared some fruit himself. “Grape?” he asked Dan. Phil was blushing furiously when he was feeding Dan but he enjoyed it very much at the same time. It all felt pretty surreal. After stuffing themselves with tons of chocolate (or so it seemed), Frederick suddenly called out: “Dad? How late is it?”   
“Oh, nearly four o’clock.” Dan answered. They both started moving around quickly. Phil didn’t quite follow at first but then he remembered that four o’clock was the time of the day “Goose to see you!” was airing. Dan fumbled around with the remotes and then looked around, possibly to think of a way how he could sit without cramping any body parts.   
“You can lean onto me, if you want.” Phil proposed with a red head.   
“Okay. Thank you.” Dan answered and gently leaned against Phil’s side. They were sitting like this for the entirety of the show. Phil had never found a show more agreeable. After a while Dan was practically lying in his lab and that was definitely enough distraction from his own face on the television, that Phil was able to have a great time. When the show was over Dan got up. Frederick wanted him to show Phil some kind of video they had made the day before. Phil was curious but sad to see Dan leave. In the next second Frederick crawled into Phil’s lap.   
“Did you enjoy the show?” Phil asked.  
“Yes. I always enjoy it.” Frederick said. “Did you enjoy it.”  
“Very much.” Phil said, happy not to have to lie to Frederick.   
Dan came back a few seconds later and smiled when he saw that Frederick was sitting in Phil’s lab. “Can I join?” Dan asked. “I mean, can I sit down next to you?” he corrected himself.  
“Sure.” Phil answered quickly and made place for Dan, so that he could sit against the couch as well. Dan sat down next to him and unlocked his phone.  
“I can’t see anything!” Frederick complained.  
“That’s because it hasn’t started yet.” Dan said and gently pinched Frederick’s nose, however he shuffled closer and was sitting side by side to Phil.   
“What kind of video is this?” Phil asked.  
“Just watch.” Dan said and held the phone so everyone could see. In the video Frederick was dancing in front of the same television they had been watching the show on a few minutes ago. "Why are you dancing?” the Dan in the recording asked.  
“Phil talked about us!” the Frederick in the recording answered. The camera briefly moved over to the television. Phil literally jumped when he saw his face. His face looked horribly pale and unhealthy.   
“That was the video.” Dan said and smiled.   
“Cute.” Phil answered. After all, Frederick’s dancing had been really cute.   
They stayed like that and talked about how Winnie the Pooh would be spending his Christmas. Frederick was sure he would open at least one present before Christmas morning. Dan wasn’t too sure about that because Winnie the Pooh was the nicest bear anyone ever met, and Phil simply smiled about the combined cuteness before him. After a good while of serious discussion Frederick fell asleep against Phil’s tummy. Seconds after Frederick had closed his eyes Phil felt Dan’s head on his shoulder.   
“Hey, you can’t all just fall asleep on me.” Phil said and laughed quietly.   
“You are far too cosy to have any right of such a statement.” Dan mumbled and snuggled closer into Phil. “Phil?” he asked after a while, making Phil shiver all over his body.   
“Yes?” Phil asked quietly.  
“Do you truly like your show?”  
“I love recording the show, yes.” Phil answered.  
“But you don’t like watching the recorded show, do you?” Dan mumbled.  
“Not nearly as much, no.” Phil answered truthfully.  
“Why not?” Dan asked and faced Phil. His dark brown eyes were very close to Phil’s blue ones. Phil swallowed and looked desperately for an answer.   
“Have you seen my face once? Like, have you ever looked at it?” Phil asked.   
“Multiple times.” Dan mumbled quietly.   
“Then you shouldn’t have to ask that question.” Phil said and laughed quietly.  
“I understand. Looking at something unbelievably beautiful can make one feel a little uneasy.” Dan said.  
“What? No!” Phil exclaimed surprised. “The absolute contrary.” Phil said.   
“What?” Dan asked and sat up. “Do you mean to say you don’t see a goodness when you look into the mirror.”   
“Unlike you, I don’t.” Phil answered. Dan blushed.   
“No. First of all, I didn’t mean to say the first thing and the second thing is absolute crap.” Dan said.   
“If you don’t mean to say anything, don’t talk.” Phil said and smiled cheekily.   
“Probably wouldn’t be a bad idea.” Dan said and snuggled back into Phil.   
“Dan?” Phil asked after a while and hated himself for doing it.   
“Yes?” Dan asked sleepily.   
“I should really get home.” Phil said quietly.  
“Already?” Dan asked.  
“Look at you. You are on the verge of falling asleep. It’s about time you went to bed and I went home.” Phil said and chuckled.   
“Nope.”  
“Pardon?”  
“First you have to help me rearrange my bed. You can pull the door shut from the outside.” Dan said and got up.   
“You want me to put you two into bed?” Phil asked and blushed.  
“Yes.” Dan said and smiled.  
“Is it possible that sleep deprivation has a similar effect on you as alcohol?” Phil asked.  
“Possible.” Dan said and pulled Phil up. Phil didn’t say anything in reply. Only when he had laid Frederick into his bed and covered him with a blanket he started speaking again.  
“Let’s get you into you bed, shall we?” he asked. Dan had already changed, which Phil was really thankful for. God knows what he would have done if Dan had changed in front of him. Dan had also already put the mattress back inside the bedframe in his bedroom. All that was left for Phil to do was pull the covers over Dan. Phil chuckled at the absurdity of this situation but couldn’t resist to kiss Dan’s forehead. “Sleep tight.” Phil mumbled and left, closing the door gently from the outside. This had been one of the nicest evenings he had ever had.


	23. 23rd December - Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 23rd of December! Christmas is getting cloooose! <3 :) Enjoy the chapter! <3

Dan’s POV

Dan did not dream that kiss on his forehead, did he? No, surely he didn’t. It had felt as real as holding Frederick right now. Dan had stumbled into Frederick’s room, still half asleep, had picked him up and tried to wake him as gently as possible right now.   
“Come on Frederick. Wake up!” Dan said gently. “We have to go to work today!” he added. “We are going to see Phil.” He should have known that this was the sentence to catch Frederick attention.  
“Phil?” Frederick mumbled.   
“Yes.” Dan answered. “We are meeting him at work. But we have to get dressed for that. Unfortunately. Come on. Help me a little here.” Dan said. Frederick opened his eyes and gave his best to be awake. Every now and then his head would fall onto his chest but he would catch himself soon enough. After waking up properly, Dan put a jacket on Frederick and they set out for work. On their way from the tube station to the place of work, Dan suddenly felt the need to talk to Frederick about Christmas presents. He needed to warn him not to expect too many. There would probably be some from Frederick’s grandparents and from Carla but Dan nearly had nothing. Dan hoped he would remember to tell Carla to buy Frederick a set of new books Dan would give to him. He would obviously pay her back! Even though Frederick did not have to fear a Christmas without any presents Dan was still anxious to warn him not to expect too much.   
“Frederick?” Dan asked.  
“Dad?” Frederick asked back while jumping over the lines in the pavement.   
“Do you remember we have talked about Christmas?”  
“We always talk about Christmas.” Frederick answered.   
“That’s true.” Dan said and laughed nervously. “Do you remember when we talked about presents?”   
“When we thought about what we could give Carl?” Frederick asked and hoped a few meters and then waited for Dan to catch up.   
“Yes. We also talked about presents a few days ago.” Dan said.  
“Yes. You wouldn’t tell me what I was getting.” Frederick said carelessly.   
“That’s true. Do you remember why?”  
“Because Christmas is also for surprises?” Frederick asked.  
“Yes. You could say that.” Dan said proud of his son. “Another reason would be that this year you won’t be getting too many presents. Perhaps none…”   
Frederick gasped and looked in shook at Dan. “None?” he whispered tears forming in his eyes.   
“No, not none. But not as many.” Dan said quickly. “Perhaps none you will love tremendously.” Dan carefully said.  
“What?” Frederick said and started crying. They were now climbing the stairs to Dan’s work place. Frederick was running up the stairs and Dan had a bit of trouble to follow him.  
“Frederick! Wait. You will be getting presents.” Dan said and held onto Frederick’s arms.   
“But I want to love my presents! I hate you dad!” Frederick shouted, freed himself and ran into the building, someone had walked in just before him so he could easily slip through the door. Dan was in shock but quickly followed Frederick. He looked around but he could not see Frederick. He did see Phil though. Phil came rushing towards him.  
“Everything alright?” Phil asked.  
“No.” Dan said and violently shook his head.   
“What happened?” Phil asked and sounded seriously concerned.   
“Frederick hates me.” Dan whispered. There were no tears coming surprisingly. Dan was too dumbfounded to be crying.  
“He doesn’t.” Phil said and pulled Dan into a hug. Dan clung onto Phil and hid his face in Phil’s neck.   
“He said so himself.” Dan mumbled and breathed in Phil’s scent. Phil let go off him but Dan was too weak to protest.  
“He did not think about what he said.” Phil said decidedly.   
“Sure.” Dan said. “Perhaps he is right. I am a lousy father.”   
“Don’t you dare think that!” Phil said and shook Dan a little bit.   
“I can’t help it.” Dan mumbled.  
“Oh you can. Come and sit down in front of my office.” Phil said and pulled Dan with him.  
“Why on earth would I do that?”   
“I have a feeling Frederick is in my office.” Phil said and walked on.  
“See you are much more like a father to him.”  
“I have said it before and I will say it again: That is not true.” Phil said and pushed Dan against the wall. He put a finger onto his lip and walked into his office. Dan needed a bit of time to control his breathing. After all, it had not yet happened that Phil had pushed him against a wall.   
“Good morning, Frederick!” Dan heard Phil call.  
“Phil!” Frederick whined.  
“Not a good morning?” Phil asked. “Where is your dad?”   
“I don’t know.” Frederick said and started crying.   
“Where did you last see him?” Phil asked and sounded concerned.  
“I ran away.” Frederick mumbled quietly. “I left him outside. Is he still outside?” Frederick sobbed.   
“I don’t believe so but why would you run away?” Phil asked.  
“Dad said something about Christmas.”   
“What did he say?” Phil asked patiently.  
“That I wasn’t going to get a lot of presents.” Frederick mumbled, Dan knew that Frederick was ashamed.   
“Not a lot or none?” Phil inquired.   
“Not a lot.” Frederick answered timidly. “Was it bad for me to run away?”  
“It probably was but I think your dad understands.” Phil said. “He had been young too once, you know?” Phil asked gently.   
“Did he always have lots of presents at Christmas?”   
“I do not know at all but actually, that isn’t important in the slightest.” Phil pointed out gently.   
“No?” Frederick asked.  
“No. What have you heard about Jesus’ birth?”   
“He was born in a manger. In a stable. At night. There were shepherds and angels and kings!” Frederick supplied eagerly.  
“Wow, you certainly know quite a lot.” Phil said and chuckled. “The point is: Do you think Jesus was rich?”  
“No. He was born in a stable!”  
“See? Do you think he had a lot of presents?”   
“He had incense and gold and…”  
“… and myrrh.” Phil helped. “How many presents is that?”   
“Three. Because they are three kings.” Frederick said.  
“So the baby who is the reason why we celebrate Christmas got nothing more than three presents at his own birthday. But that isn’t bad. These presents were highly valued because of who they came from. The number of presents is not at all important. Spreading love is most important at Christmas because that’s what Jesus wants us to do. Doing that with a little present to show the love we feel in our hearts is not bad but it’s not necessary.”   
“I forgot that Jesus wanted us to love our neighbour.” Frederick said quietly.  
“Don’t feel bad about it. The fact that you at least know something about it makes you a lot cleverer than the majority of the world. Don’t feel bad for forgetting it. You didn’t mean any harm, did you?” Phil asked, and Dan knew he was smiling.   
“No. Where is dad?” Frederick asked, and his voice was quivering again.  
“Let’s find him.”  
“But what should I say?” Frederick asked.   
“We’ll show him we love him, easy as that.” Phil answered. Pleasant shivers ran down Dan’s spine. He quickly detached himself from the wall and pretended to be busy across the room.   
“Dad!” Frederick called out.  
“Frederick!” Dan called back and kneeled down, pressing the little body as tightly as he could without hurting him.  
“I love you.” Frederick whispered and clung onto Dan’s neck. Dan stood up and looked at Phil. He mouthed a ‘Thank you!’ and walked away with Frederick on his arm. Facing Phil right now when he had only said that he wanted to show Dan that Frederick and Phil loved him, made Dan unable to stand in front of him not showing plainly what he felt. Especially not when Frederick needed a bit of attention right now. Dan listened to everything Frederick had to tell him. They were not speaking about presents but showing Frederick that Dan was more than willing to do everything in his power to make him happy, was important as well.   
“Would you like to come over to mine after work?” Dan asked embarrassedly. He had approached Phil and immediately asked, out of fear that his courage would leave him again.   
“Sure. I would very much like to. Your home looks so cosy right now!” Phil went into raptures. Dan giggled like a silly school girl and quickly went away to look for Frederick.  
“Phil is coming home with us today.” Dan said, and Frederick started smiling widely.   
“We love Phil, don’t we?” he asked.  
“Yes, I think you are right.” Dan answered a few minutes later.  
“Pardon?”  
“Yes, we love Phil.” Dan said and started tickling Frederick.   
“Stop it!” Frederick wailed.   
“I haven’t even started yet!” Dan said but stopped because he needed to get some work done. He could finish tickling Frederick when they were back at home. 

 

Phil’s POV

Phil could not stand to see either Dan or Frederick sad. It was only natural for him to try to ease the tension on both sides. Phil was excessively happy to have Dan cling to him, even if the reasons were sad. However, this could not stay like it was forever. The tension needed to be eased and Phil was happy to help out. He pulled Dan over to his office and pushed him against the wall, it took all his willpower not to kiss him right there but luckily Phil was reminded soon enough that there was something he had to do. Phil left Dan and went into his office. Just like he had thought, he found Frederick sitting on his chair. Phil calmly talked about the problem and soon realised that Frederick really had had no idea what he had said to Dan. Luckily Phil also had the feeling that Dan had already forgiven Frederick so Phil’s part was indeed very easy.   
“No. Where is dad?” Frederick asked when Phil had finished with his gentle moral lecture.   
“Let’s find him.” Phil said and got up from the floor.   
“But what should I say?” Frederick asked with a quivering lip.   
“We’ll show him we love him, easy as that.” Phil said and hoped sincerely that Dan had already left to make Frederick find him genuine. Phil was accordingly very happy to see Dan working busily across the room when he came out of his office with Frederick. Frederick ran over to Dan and Dan hugged him and picked him up, mouthing a ‘Thank you!’ to Phil. Then they left, and Phil had to wait quite a while before Dan came back to speak to him. When he did, he invited him over to come to their home another time for the afternoon. Phil was delighted, and Dan probably noticed. Oh well, Phil was sure his secret would come out soon anyways.   
Phil was happy when work was over, he used to dread to go to his empty flat but to have a home to come to was a lot nicer. Wait. This was bad. Worse than what liberties Phil had allowed himself before. He had just called Dan and Frederick’s apartment ‘home’. He had done it unconsciously and in a way that was even worse. Why would he do that? Well, obviously because he had never felt so welcome and comfortable anywhere else than in their cosy apartment. It was bad nevertheless. And he needed to push these thoughts away. Far away.   
“What will your show be about tomorrow?” Frederick asked.   
“Why are you asking?” Phil asked back surprised. “I thought you didn’t want to know.”   
“We never have time on Christmas Eve.” Frederick answered. “But I don’t want to miss anything important.”  
“Remember our little talk today? Didn’t we talk about all the important things already?” Phil asked.   
“Were you going to talk about Jesus’ birth tomorrow?” Frederick asked.  
“No, you’re right. I am going to talk about the way I spent Christmas morning.”  
“Oh! How do you spend Christmas morning?” Frederick asked excitedly.   
“You really want me to tell you?”   
“Yes!” Frederick shouted. Dan laughed quietly. Phil turned around and looked at him questioningly. Dan shrugged and nodded his head.   
“Well, I usually go to sleep rather late on Christmas Eve, that’s a bad habit, I know. Always go to sleep at a reasonable our but when I try to go to sleep on Christmas Eve I never manage to sleep so I always stay awake as long as possible to be properly asleep.” Phil started. “Then on Christmas Day I will wake up. Even if I am normally really slow in the morning I wake up easily on Christmas day. I jump up and dart down the stairs. Then, downstairs, I meet my family and before we have breakfast we exchange presents and enjoy the time together.”   
“That sounds lovely. When are you going to go to them then?” Dan asked kindly.  
“Oh. Not this year. They are visiting my brother’s parents-in-law in Sweden.” Phil said and smiled.   
“But you are not going to be all alone on Christmas, right?” Dan asked and sounded shocked.  
“So far it seems like I am.”   
“Nope.” Dan said.  
“Pardon?”  
“I will not have you spend Christmas alone. Frederick, ask him.” Dan ordered with a smile.  
“Phil, do you want to spend Christmas with us?” Frederick asked with a big smile.   
“Are you being serious?” Phil asked with wide opened eyes.  
“Yes. Obviously.”  
“Carl will be there too.” Frederick said. “She promised to make lunch.”   
Soon afterwards the topic was dropped, and Phil did not dare to enquire after it. They soon talked about Winnie the Pooh again, apparently Frederick had thought hardly about the topic him and Dan had started the day before and was now eager to present his ideas. When they reached Dan and Frederick’s home, Dan ran to the toilet and left Phil to undress Frederick.   
“You love Winnie the Pooh a lot, don’t you?” Phil asked while unzipping Frederick’s jacket.  
“Yes! I would love to have a cuddly Winnie. It would be easier to play with it.” Frederick said absent-minded. “I love Tigger a lot as well and Piglet. They are my favourite.”   
Phil smiled and suddenly had quite a bright idea as to what he could give Dan and Frederick for Christmas, well if they had been serious about wanting him to spend Christmas with them. He would see what he could do when he arrived in his apartment.  
“Come into the living room you lot! We can read some Harry Potter!” Dan called. Frederick and Phil walked into the living room and sat down next to Dan.   
“Harry Potter or a Christmas story?” Dan asked.   
“Harry Potter.” Frederick answered. “We can read the Christmas story tomorrow.” He added. “I’d like that very much.”   
“So would I.” Dan assured him and started reading right from the top. Whenever there was a new chapter Dan would fling the book at Phil and Phil would return the action when he had finished one. They kept on reading and Phil was quite happy that he was the only one that noticed it was four o’clock. He felt a little bad for not telling the others about it but he preferred to continue reading and they seemed to enjoy themselves as well so he was not necessarily doing a bad thing. Frederick really enjoyed to be read to by two different people.   
Late in the evening when Frederick started to get hungry they had finished over a third of the book. Phil was very happy to be back in the Harry Potter world once again but he was even more happy to be able to enjoy this very special evening.   
They settled to have some noodles for dinner. That wasn’t too hard, and one person could stir and the other could continue reading. Frederick was having the best time of his life, or so he said at least. When they had finished eating, they returned onto the sofas to read another chapter. Frederick was still very giddy at first but he soon fell asleep, his head on Dan’s lab. Dan scooped him up and held him in his arms. Phil looked at them for a good while and no one said a word.   
“Dan?” Phil asked.   
“Yes?”  
“Were you being genuine about wanting me to spend Christmas with you?” Phil asked and kneaded his fingers.   
“Of course!” Dan said and sounded surprised. “You did not think I was joking, did you?”   
“Not really. No.” Phil said.  
“What is it then?” Dan asked and shuffled a little closer still with Frederick on his arms.   
“I wasn’t… I mean… Would you… Are we there yet?” Phil asked and blushed. Dan laughed quietly. Phil looked up in confusion and saw that Dan was leaning closer. Phil gently took Dan’s head in his hands and stared into the eyes, he had very soon noticed that would probably be the death of him. Phil closed his eyes when Dan’s soft lips met his own. He leaned closer and started running his hands through Dan’s hair. A few seconds later Dan broke free with a smile on his lips.   
“I would say we are.” Dan said and blushed deeply.   
“You just made a valid point.” Phil admitted and quickly captured Dan’s lips with his own.   
“Phil, I’m holding Frederick.” Dan sighed when Phil went over to kiss his neck.   
“If it wasn’t Frederick I’d say pity.” Phil said and pressed one last kiss to Dan’s neck. He noticed that Dan was shivering. Phil smiled happily.   
“I could put him to bed.” Dan offered.   
“You could but I think it would be best if I went home.” Phil said and pushed Dan’s fringe back.   
“Already?” Dan asked and sounded disappointed.   
“I’d say so.” Phil apologized.   
“Okay.” Dan said. “I’ll trust you.” He added quietly and kissed Phil’s cheek. Phil turned his face and started kissing Dan properly again but Dan broke free and laughed. “You said you wanted to go!” he complained. “You are not being fair.”  
“Sorry, pretty hard to resist.” Phil admitted. Dan blushed. Phil reluctantly stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”   
“Yes.” Dan said and smiled widely.   
“I’ll close the door from the outside?”   
“If you could be so kind.” Dan said and smiled. Phil sighed and bent down for one last time.   
“See you!” Phil called and practically ran all the way home. Never had he been this happy in his entire life. Never. And that was not an exaggeration. When Phil arrived in front of the dreary door leading to his apartment he cursed himself for not thinking about a present beforehand. After all, that was the only reason why he had left Dan. He would be more intelligent in the future.


	24. 24th December - Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh... I don't like this being the penultimate chapter! Enjoy! <3 :)

Dan’s POV

Not the evening before and not now. Dan simply could not stop smiling. Obviously, Carla noticed. It was harder not to notice actually than to notice and Carla had already understood the whole situation with less evident signs, so there was literally no way she couldn’t get it.   
“Really?” she asked when Dan opened the door. Not only was she clever, she was also quick.  
“Yes.” Dan said and widened his smile, something he did not think would be possible.  
“Oh Dan. You cute little ball of fluff.”   
“Isn’t that what you call dirty wipers?” Dan asked and frowned.  
“What else should I call you then?”   
“You dashing example of a man.” Dan said.  
“Right.” Carla said and rolled her eyes.  
“I am not going to talk to you any longer.” Dan said and pretended to be in a huff. Carla only laughed at him. Dan rolled his eyes and tried his best to not show how he was feeling so plainly.   
“Nice try.” Carla said when Dan nodded to something she had said.  
“What?”  
“First of all you say: Pardon or Excuse me and second of all: you did not pay attention. I know you well enough to detect that!”   
“This is of no use.”  
“Precisely my opinion.” Carla said.  
“Excuse me?” Dan said and poked his tongue out at her.   
“This is of no use. You should leave.” Carla said and winked.   
“I don’t like you particularly.” Dan groaned but got into his jacket and left the apartment before Carla could say another word. Dan hurried to work and realised that he was behaving ridiculously. He slowed down and lost a lot of time with looking at frosty trees and frosty spider webs in particular. In the end he arrived at a decent time at the stairs that lead up to the building. Dan took a deep breath. He had not thought about the way he would say hello to Phil. Would they kiss? Dan’s knees went weak at the thought.   
In the end, he needn’t have to think about it at all. The reason for that was simple: Dan did not see Phil. At first, he thought he was in the meeting and would come and say hello to him once that was over. Dan did see Edward and the rest of the team soon after he had reasoned that the meeting was probably over. No matter how many people Dan saw of whom he knew to be part of the meeting, Phil did not appear. Dan was confused and gave his very best to seem collected.   
In the end when Dan had not even seen Phil after he saw cameramen coming out of the set, he decided to ask someone even if that would possibly destroy his dignity. When he asked the cameraman whether he had seen Phil he rolled his eyes and said that he obviously had.   
“Do you know where he is right now?”  
“Sorry. Can’t help you there.” The cameraman answered. Dan was sent over to another person finally ending up with Edward who told him that Phil had finished early. There was nothing else to be done here and Phil needed to travel somewhere or something. In the next breath Edward told Dan that he could leave as well. They were only cleaning up and then securing the office for its winter break.   
“If you want to you can go home. We all know there is someone waiting for you.” Edward said.   
“Thank you.” Dan said and returned the smile. It was a nearly completely genuine one, thinking about Frederick made him smile no matter which pain he suffered internally at the moment. Dan accepted the offer, collected his things wished everyone a nice winter break and went home. He was greeted by a very excited Frederick who seemed a little confused to not see Phil with him.   
“Where is Phil?” Frederick asked.  
“He will come later.” Dan said and smiled. He really hoped for Phil’s sake that he would come around, he would do unspeakable things to him if he didn’t. Not in that sense!   
Dan was properly mad at him. There was a small chance that Edward had misunderstood Phil on where he was heading to but Dan couldn’t get his hopes up because otherwise he would fall down pretty harshly and that was not a fall he was keen to recover from over Christmas.   
“I have to go now. I have got a few things to do at home.” Carla said.   
“Pardon?”  
“Tell me, who is in charge of lunch?” Carla asked while dramatically wrapping her scarf around her neck.  
“You.” Dan said and nodded stupidly.   
“That’s right, Hobnobs.” Carla said and opened the door. “If you need anything, text me.”   
“Bye!” Dan and Frederick called in unison.   
“What should we do now?” Dan asked. He would have to give his very best to distract Frederick from the fact that Phil might not come to them after all.   
“I don’t know.” Frederick answered truthfully.  
“How about we bake something?” Dan asked.  
“Yes! The Christmas biscuits! Can I choose the cookie cutters?” Frederick asked.   
“Of course you can!” Dan said, and they went into the kitchen. “Which ones are you going for?” Dan asked and leaned over Frederick’s shoulder who was standing on a chair to have better access to the counter.   
“I chose some stars and hearts.” Frederick said. “And a hedgehog.”   
“Why a hedgehog?” Dan asked and smiled.  
“I like them.” Frederick said and shrugged.   
“Brilliant choice!” Dan said encouragingly and prepared the dough. He was quickly done and had to wait half an hour for the dough to cool down. Afterwards he offered the flour to Frederick who not understanding Dan’s intention of making Frederick flour the surface, threw a hand full of flour at Dan. “Frederick!” Dan groaned and started laughing. “Look. You take the handful and gently distribute it on top of the surface.” Dan said and showed what he wanted Frederick to do.   
“Like this?” Frederick asked and vaguely copied his actions.  
“Precisely.” Dan said and rubbed his forehead, accidentally getting flour into his hair. “Let’s roll the dough then.” Dan said and guided Frederick’s hands. They were finished with the first fifteen biscuits when the doorbell suddenly rang.   
“Frederick? I’ll go get the door and you take care the biscuits don’t burn.” Dan said and rushed to open the door. At first, he was confused what he was seeing before him. There were a few bags and someone wrapped in a warm blanket. “Phil!” Dan shouted relieved. He pulled him inside and made him get rid of his bags. He then fell around Phil’s neck. “I thought you wouldn’t come!” Dan said and pressed himself into Phil.  
“And miss an opportunity to spend Christmas with the cutest boys on earth?” Phil whispered into his ear. Dan blushed. Phil made Dan look at him and gently kissed him. He secured him with a hand on the small of his back. That was good because otherwise he would have landed on the floor in no time.   
“Frederick! Look who’s here!” Dan called after they had broken apart.   
“Phil!” Frederick shouted delightedly. He ran up to them and jumped. Dan caught him and squeezed him between Phil and himself.   
“I am happy you are here.” Dan said and pressed his forehead against Phil’s.   
“You wouldn’t believe me, but so am I.” Phil answered.  
“I believe you.” Frederick said. 

 

Phil’s POV

Even though Saturday was the last day to work before the Christmas break and Phil literally only had to record one show and was then free to go, he had the most stressful day ever. After he had rushed through recording the show, making the least mistakes he had ever made during a show, Phil ran outside, grabbed his things called a brief good bye and rushed towards the tube station which brought him to his post office. He arrived, only to be told that his package had arrived at a different post station. Phil thanked the employee for the help and rushed out. Just because Phil had to move a bit more didn’t mean that he was going to destroy somebody’s day, especially not if that somebody had done nothing wrong. Phil rushed to the next post office and was delighted that they had a package with his name. Sadly, there was only one. The next one was to be found at a different post office. Phil quickly went to that one and was too happy to finally have all the things he needed to be seriously mad that he had to collect two packages from the same company from different post offices.   
After Phil had everything he had ordered, he went to his apartment and packed a bag with all the essential things he could need. Afterwards he checked multiple times if he had closed all the windows, put the heating off and left no lights on. When he was completely positive that he had not forgotten anything, Phil grabbed his bags and walked to a bus station. With all the things he was carrying, he wouldn’t want to use the tube. He took a bus instead which was already hard enough, especially as the bus stop was quite a far way away from home. Phil blushed. He had done it again. He had called Dan and Frederick’s apartment his home.   
Phil quickly climbed the stairs and rang the doorbell. Dan opened and was visibly surprised to see him. Phil’s heart melted a little at the sight. Dan was covered in flour. There was something on his face and on his trousers and jumper. Phil suspected that Frederick had a share in the actions. Phil’s heart properly melted when Dan fell around his neck and kissed him. And Phil’s heart was nothing but a puddle of blood when Frederick came running towards them and Dan pressed him between them.   
“I am happy you are here.” Dan said and pressed his forehead against Phil’s.   
“You wouldn’t believe me, but so am I.” Phil answered with a goofy smile.  
“I believe you.” Frederick said. Phil started laughing, so did Dan and Frederick joined in, perhaps not understanding the joke but being fond of laughing, he probably didn’t care.  
“Do you know what we are going to do today?” Phil asked Frederick. Dan frowned but said nothing.  
“Bake?” Frederick asked.  
“Yes. Of course, and after baking?” Phil asked again.  
“I don’t know. What are we going to do?” Frederick asked excitedly.  
“How about some ice skating?” Phil asked.   
“Yes!” Frederick shouted.   
“Really?” Dan asked.  
“Yep. I have it all planned out.” Phil said. Dan put Frederick down. “Besides, ice skating will probably make Frederick really tired. He can enjoy the feeling of being deliciously tired then.” Phil whispered into Dan’s ear. To be fair, Phil literally had no intention apart from enabling Frederick to sleep soundly. At least he didn’t have at first. Being welcomed by Dan kissing him passionately did give him some ideas however. But he wouldn’t think about them, Frederick was going to be the centre of his attention.   
Dan and Phil followed Frederick into the kitchen and finished baking. “We used your recipe!” Frederick said proudly.   
“Do you like it?” Phil asked.  
“We love it!” Frederick said and crawled onto Phil’s lab. Phil watched Dan do the dishes and listened to Frederick tell him everything he knew about baking. Frederick loved talking and Phil loved listening, especially to someone as passionate as Frederick. If he liked something he was completely head over heels in love with it, or so it seemed.   
“I’m finished. Ready to go ice skating?” Dan asked. Frederick excitedly jumped up and Dan and Phil quickly wrapped him in warm things. Soon afterwards they set out. Phil led the way. Well, he was giving instructions where they had to go next. After all, walking with Frederick on his hand, who was holding onto Dan’s hand with his other one, could hardly be called leading the way. They arrived at a very crowded little frozen lake soon afterwards. Weirdly enough the people did not seem to destroy the scene. Everyone was calm enough to hear the music coming out of two boxes. Friendly chatter was to be heard everywhere. It was lovely. Dan and Phil got themselves skates. There were no ones for Frederick but he had shoes with a slippy sole so he simply held onto Dan and Phil and slid over the ice. He was having a great time. So were Dan and Phil. Dan couldn’t stop smiling, and Phil wasn’t any better. They were by no means talented skaters but they had a lot of fun. Phil once had to catch Dan mid fall.  
“That feels just like these weird trust exercises.” Dan groaned. “I like the feeling of being caught but I hate the feeling of falling.”   
“I think you might not be the only one.” Phil said and laughed. Frederick tugged at his trousers. “Do you want me to pick you up?” Phil asked and bent down.   
“Yes, please.” Frederick said. Phil picked him up and pretended not to notice that Dan was taking a picture.   
“There we are.” Phil said and looked at Frederick. He had cute red cheeks and was breathing heavily. “Are you exhausted?” Phil asked.  
“A little.” Frederick admitted.   
“We will go home soon.”   
“Not yet.” Dan and Frederick said in unison.   
“No. Not if you don’t want to.” Phil said and smiled.   
“Stay there! I’ll be back in a sec.” Dan said and clumsily set off. Phil chuckled. Frederick cuddled into Phil and Phil held him as close as possible. Dan came back quickly with a woman behind him. “I have asked her to take a picture of us.” Dan said. It wasn’t a question so Phil did not find him obliged to speak.   
“Smile!” The woman said. Phil did not need any encouragement. With a sleepy but happy Frederick on his arm and a visibly happy Dan next to him he could have never stopped smiling. Dan thanked the lady for taking the picture and wished her a nice Christmas.   
“Can we stay?” Frederick asked and yawned.  
“But you are tired.” Dan said surprised.  
“But I like it.” Frederick answered.   
“Do you want me to carry you home?” Phil asked.   
“Don’t encourage him.” Dan said and rolled his eyes playfully.  
“Yes please.” Frederick said and closed his eyes.   
“Please wait with falling asleep until I am off the ice.” Phil said. Frederick carefully opened his eyes again and Phil manoeuvred them off the ice. “Now you can sleep.” Phil said after he had gotten back into his shoes. “It’s nice to wear footwear that does not threaten to cut your foot in two.” Phil said quietly to Dan who was walking next to him. “Are you cold?” Phil asked when he saw that Dan was shivering.   
“A little.” Dan admitted.   
“Come here.” Phil said and made Dan link arms with him. He kissed the top of Dan’s head, even if he had to get on tiptoes to do that, and they walked on in silence. When they reached home (Phil had stopped trying to stop himself from calling it that) Dan quickly unlocked the door and they put Frederick into his bed. They had eaten some fries outside so Dan needn’t worry that he was going to wake up in the middle of the night. It was actually more like Phil who put Frederick to sleep. Dan was busy doing something in his room but Phil didn’t dare to ask what exactly he was doing.   
“Would you like some wine?” Dan asked when they met again in the kitchen.   
“Hot chocolate, if you don’t mind.” Phil said.   
“Sure thing. How about you get the mattress from my room into the living room?” Dan asked. “It’s a lot warmer there and we will be able to comfortably look at the Christmas tree.”   
“Sounds lovely.” Phil said and went to work. He got the mattress, Dan’s covers and several cushions. He then lighted all the candles he could find and arranged everything to look the cosiest possible.   
“That looks romantic.” Dan said. He appeared suddenly behind Phil and made him jump.   
“Thanks, I guess?” Phil said and nervously scratched his head.   
“Get into the bed. I’ll hand you our cups. Then I will change and join you.”  
“Pretty organized, are we?” Phil asked and lay down.   
“And if I was?”  
“I would admire you.” Phil said and smiled. “Okay, to be fair I admire you no matter what you do.” Phil said and laughed.   
“There is nothing to admire.” Dan said and laughed.   
“Oh just you wait and see.” Phil threatened. Dan chuckled and disappeared. Soon afterwards he came back, wearing PJs and the happiest smile Phil had ever seen on his face. “Look at you and tell me there is nothing to admire.” Phil said.  
“Okay. I won’t stop you from admiring me.” Dan said with a crimson face.   
“Good.” Phil said and took a sip of his hot chocolate. “I won’t bore you with all the soppy details but let me tell you what a brilliant kind of father I think you are.”   
“Do you really think that?” Dan asked seriously.  
“I do.” Phil answered equally seriously. He had come to understand how important this topic was for Dan. “I really do. Frederick has the best father in the world.” Phil said and gently nudged Dan’s knee with us own. The finished their chocolate in silence. After a while, Dan said: “I don’t think that I’m the best father in the world.”   
“I do think so.”  
“I think you are a strong competitor for that title.” Dan said and blushed deeply.   
“Am I allowed to interpret that as I wish?” Phil asked giddily.   
“Please do.” Dan said and laughed quietly.   
“Dan?”  
“Phil?”  
“I have a very strong suspicion that I am in love with you.” Phil said and pulled Dan close and kissed him. He rolled them over so that Phil was lying on top of Dan. “Yes. I think I’m positive about that.” Phil said and started attacking Dan’s neck with kisses.   
“You are the best Christmas present I ever received.” Dan mumbled.  
“That’s what I am? Good to know.” Phil said and rolled off Dan.  
“Excuse me?”   
“You can’t have me before tomorrow.” Phil said and laughed.   
Dan sighed and said: “I love you.” Phil pulled him close and pressed a kiss to the back of Dan’s head. This was undoubtedly the best Christmas he ever had.


	25. 25th December - Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone that came on this journey with Dan, Frederick, Phil and me. I loved reading your comments!   
> The merriest of Christmasses to you all! <3   
> Enjoy the chapter! :)

Dan’s POV

Falling asleep late at night the day before, Dan had been certain that he could not spent a better day than the one that had just come to an end. However, when he was woken up by a sloppy kiss on one side of his face and a gentle, caressing one on the other, Dan knew that Christmas Day was going to be even better than Christmas Eve.   
“Good morning!” Frederick said and smiled brightly.  
“Good morning.” Dan said and pulled Frederick on top of himself.   
“Good morning.” Phil said and smiled. Dan returned the smile and pulled Phil close. They were a big bundle lying on top of each other.   
“I love spending my Christmas morning with the family.” Dan said. He enjoyed seeing Phil’s eyes widen. After all, he really enjoyed surprising Phil.   
“We are a family.” Frederick said.   
“Yes, we are.” Dan nodded.  
“We are.” Phil whispered, mainly to himself. Dan smiled and pressed a kiss to Phil’s cheek. He then lay his head on his pillow and looked deep into Phil’s eyes. With Frederick’s even breathing and the warmth that came from both of the bodies surrounding him, Dan was positive that he could easily stay like this forever. Unfortunately, Carla burst into the room and disturbed the scene.   
“What is happening?” she called when she saw the three of them lying on the mattress in front of the Christmas tree. Dan had written her a message relatively late at night, an additional text to the one he had sent earlier that day, begging her to go out and buy some stuff for him. The books for Frederick and a picture frame collage where he wanted to put pictures from Phil and himself and Frederick inside.   
“Did I disturb a family Christmas morning?” Carla asked cheekily.  
“You very much did.” Dan said and smiled happily. How on earth could he be mad at anyone under the circumstances? Dan sat Frederick onto the mattress and got up.  
“Really?” Carla squealed.  
“Yes.” Dan said calmly. He turned around and rolled his eyes at Phil who smiled brightly up to him. “Now please stop making a fuss and help prepare everything.” Dan said. Luckily Carla understood that that meant she had to distract Frederick while Dan was preparing the gift for Phil and placing everything underneath the Christmas tree. There was quite an abundance of gifts lying there. Phil had brought something as well and so had Carla. Dan blushed but Phil did not listen when he told him how thankful he was.   
When everything was ready, Dan called Frederick and Carla back inside. Frederick looked at the presents in awe. “There are a lot of presents.” He said quietly. He ran over to Dan who had sat down on the mattress again and pushed him over. “Thank you.” Frederick said and squeezed Dan tightly. Pretty tightly for such a small human.  
“They are not all from me. Very little is from me.” Dan said quickly. “Carla and Phil got you something as well.” Dan explained. Frederick’s eyes lit up.   
“Can I start unpacking?” Frederick asked excitedly.   
“Go ahead.” Dan said and smiled. “How about you unpack mine first? It’s going to be the least interesting one.” Dan said and laughed. He helped Frederick find the bunch of books and happily scrutinized the little face while Frederick was unpacking Dan’s gift.   
“Books!” Frederick shouted happily. He immediately started opening a few. “There are hedgehogs in here!” he shouted excitedly. “Thank you, dad.” Frederick said, and Dan’s heart melted.   
“You are welcome.”   
“Now it’s my turn.” Carla said and made Frederick open her presents. Dan was a little ashamed that Carla had several and he only had books. He wanted to whisper something to her but Carla hissed: “I didn’t get you anything so shut it.” Dan smiled and watched Frederick unpack his things. There were several baking utensils. Different kinds of cookie cutters, icing colours and a muffin tin.   
“Isn’t that great? Now we can bake more things together.” Dan said excitedly.   
“Yes!” Frederick said. “And Phil can help too! And Carl as well.” Frederick said, happy with his clever plan.   
“Very true.”   
The next thing Frederick got from Carla was a bunch of jumpers. She quietly told Dan and Phil, who were sitting practically on top of each other, that she had originally planned to buy one but she simply couldn’t leave the others. All of them had different patterns and different animals on them. Frederick’s decided favourite was one with a huge nut eating squirrel. “Look Phil! They are really cute.” Frederick said and showed Phil the jumper.  
“They are.” Phil agreed and squeezed Dan’s hand.   
The last present from Carla was a set of wooden bricks in all colours and forms Frederick immediately wanted to start playing with. “Frederick! There is still something for you from Phil!” Dan said.   
“Really?” Frederick asked and turned around.   
“Yes.” Phil said. “Can you see that poorly wrapped roundly looking present? You can open that one.” Phil said and smiled. Frederick ripped the paper apart and freed a Winnie the Pooh cuddly toy from inside.   
“Winnie!” Frederick called out.   
“Yes!” Phil called out.   
“That’s so cute.” Dan said and rested his head onto Phil’s shoulder.   
“I am happy you like it.” Phil said to both of them. “Now there is another thing. I have gotten us three something. Sorry Carla. I know it’s weird to get myself something but not another person. I am sorry. Let’s open them all together.” Phil said and handed Dan and Frederick a present. At the count of three they all started ripping the paper apart. Dan was finished first.   
“What is this?” He asked. There was a lot of yellow and red material falling onto his lab. He checked with the others and saw that Frederick had opened something with orange and black material and Phil something with different shades of pink. “Are these onesies?” Dan asked and stared at Phil.   
“They are.”   
“And I have Winnie. You have Piglet and Frederick has Tigger?” Dan asked.  
“Yes.” Phil said and smiled.   
“That’s the perfect present!” Dan called and tackled Phil. “Thank you.” He said and kissed him quickly. He then got up and helped Frederick put his Tigger onesie on. Then he put on his own and looked up to see Phil wearing his as well.   
“You immediately get in front of that Christmas tree.” Carla ordered and grabbed Dan’s phone. Dan laughed, picked up Frederick. When Phil was standing next to him he handed Frederick over and laughed at Phil’s perplex face.   
“Have you never heard of Christmas family pictures?” Carla asked and rolled her eyes.   
“Are you going to send cards with me as piglet on front?” Phil groaned.   
“Definitely.” Dan answered and pressed a kiss to Phil’s cheek while helping him to hold Frederick. Suddenly Carla started sobbing. Frederick moved around so Phil put him down. He ran to get his Winnie and handed it to her: “He makes me happy.” Frederick said. Carla sobbed a little louder and hugged Frederick and Winnie to her chest.   
“I love you all a lot.” She sniffed. 

 

Phil’s POV

Okay. Christmas has never been as great as this. Phil had always been a great fan of Christmas but he had never had nearly as much fun as he had today. First of all, Frederick and him woke up Dan, then Carla came and joined them. Then they placed the presents underneath the Christmas tree and watched Frederick open his presents. Everything was funny and heart melting at the same time. Phil was extremely glad that everyone seemed to like his presents. Frederick was incredibly fond of his Winnie toy and loved wearing the Tigger onesie immediately. Dan was beaming which did not leave any possible interpretation liberties. Oh, and Carla was crying. Phil really hoped that she was crying because she liked it and not because she thought it was hideous. When Frederick went over to Carla and handed her his new Winnie toy because it made him happy Phil nearly started crying as well.   
“I love you all a lot.” Carla sniffed.   
“We love you too.” Dan said. Phil placed his hand on the small of Dan’s back. Dan leaned into him and put his own arm around Phil’s waist.   
“Look at you and your perfect little family.” Carla said to Dan and smiled brightly through her tears. “I have never seen anyone as happy or as in right to be happy as you lot.”   
“Carla!” Dan said touched. Phil pressed Dan into him.   
“We are a small family.” Phil mumbled and couldn’t stop smiling.   
“We are.” Dan said.  
“We are.” Frederick added.  
“You are.” Carla said and pretended to be annoyed. Phil smiled and had to swallow a lump that had formed in his throat. Dan freed himself from his grip and walked over to the Christmas tree. Frederick freed himself from Carla and joined him. Carla came over to Phil and hugged him. “I am really happy to know you.” She said and squeezed every air out of Phil’s body.   
“Thank you. So am I.” Phil said and squeezed back, not as tightly. Carla let go again and smiled while wiping her eyes.   
“I don’t even want to cry.” She muttered while falling down onto the sofa, hugging her knees to her chest. “These are the Hobnobs! They don’t normally make me cry, in public.” She muttered and started laughing when she noticed that Phil had listened. “Ignore me.” She said and waved his gaze away. Phil smiled and turned back to Frederick and Dan. Dan had picked Frederick up and was coming towards Phil with a big parcel.   
“It’s not nearly as important as it seems now but it’s nice, I hope.” Dan said and handed Phil the present. He placed Frederick on the other side of his body and bit his lip while watching Phil unwrap the present.   
“I am sure it will be breath-taking.” Phil said and carefully peeled the tape of the paper. Inside the paper there were picture frames. No, it was essentially speaking one giant picture frame, with smaller frames being arranged so that it looked something like a star. Phil took a deep breath and slowly examined the pictures further. He immediately spotted a small version of the picture Frederick had drawn for “Goose to see you!”. Then he spotted one of Frederick and Dan at baking. At first, he only looked at the pictures where he wasn’t present. Then he noticed that he wasn’t looking nearly as bad with Dan and Frederick next to him, as he usually looked. His favourite picture had to be the one Dan had made the lady take of them yesterday on the ice. Their faces were red, and everyone was smiling brightly. They did look like a family. Phil loved it.  
“This is an amazing present.” Phil whispered.   
“There is one picture missing.” Dan said.   
“Which one?”  
“The on Carla just took.”  
“You could not have guessed that I was going to give you onesies.” Phil said perplex.  
“No. But I had hoped we would take a family picture.” Dan said and blushed. Carla took the present out of Phil’s hand. Phil smiled thankfully over to her, then he quickly closed the distance between him and Dan and kissed him with the amount of love he felt for him.   
“I wanted to make you realise how pretty you are. How kind and how clever. It is perhaps not the fanciest of presents and it’s not much but it’s worth the cause.” Dan said and smiled.   
“You forget that this is not my only Christmas present.” Phil said.  
“Yes, sure.” Dan stammered.  
“I am talking about you, silly.” Phil said and pulled Dan and Frederick into a hug. “The chance I got to be with you is the greatest present I have ever received and will ever receive. I have always thought of it as a Christmas wish never to come true but apparently someone up there likes me and granted me the wish closest to my heart.”   
“I’ve had enough!” Carla said. “I came here to have a good time and I honestly feel so attacked right now.” Dan started laughing through his tears and Phil quickly joined in as well. “Yes, laugh about me.” Carla said and sobbed. “You are too much.” She said and came over to give the three of them a big hug.  
“Are you alright?” Frederick asked quietly.   
“Yes, we are.” Dan answered and pressed a kiss onto Frederick’s nose.   
“Now, before I am completely dried up I propose that I leave you disgustingly sweet lot in here and I’ll get into the kitchen and prepare lunch. I have brought tons of boxes which I will now reheat.” Carla said and stormed off. “I love you!” She called before closing the door to the kitchen.   
“Dad? Phil?” Frederick asked quietly.  
“Yes?” they both asked back.  
“Can we read the story about Christmas now?” Frederick asked.   
“Who do you want to read it to you?” Dan asked and sat down on the mattress.   
“Both of you.” Frederick said decidedly.   
“Okay. We’ll manage.” Dan said and pulled Phil next to him. They placed Frederick between them and grabbed the pile of books Dan had given Frederick for Christmas. He had ordered the Christmas story for children, the perfect book to read right now. Phil enjoyed reading the story. Frederick interrupted every now and then to tell him he already knew something because Phil had talked about it on his show. Phil was touched whenever he did that. And whenever it wasn’t his turn to read he found himself being quite in awe about the situation he found himself in. There was Dan, the cutest man Phil had ever met and then there was Dan’s son, equally cute and clever. Of course Phil shouldn’t forget Carla. She was a kind soul and seemed to be really funny. Phil normally dreaded to think of the future but right now he couldn’t do anything but look forward to it. To the near future with the Christmas festivities he was allowed to share with Dan and Frederick but also into the future which needed quite some time before it would take place. Phil had someone at his side that was everything he wasn’t. There was no way this could go wrong.  
Phil watched Dan and Frederick bickering over the pronunciation of a certain word with a fond smile. The scene was absolutely idyllic. Dan and Frederick cuddling, laughing all the while sitting in front of the Christmas tree. It was in moments like these that Phil realised how right everyone was describing Christmas as a very special time. Not only its origin was unique but also what the spirit of it did to the people’s hearts. Phil had a notion that Christmas would forever be his absolute favourite time of the year.


End file.
